Bizarre Confessions

General => General Discussion => Topic started by: flipper on January 09, 2007, 01:13:10 PM

Title: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on January 09, 2007, 01:13:10 PM
Quote
Lindsay Lohan <system@peterdrent.nl>  to me
 show details  Jan 8 (23 hours ago) 

Images are not displayed. Display images below 


Isabell fuentes coed fight stop evil.
Beyonce alyssa milano alba angelina jolie.
Jamie pressly ashlee simpson so, it. Album single, same, name shots its music.
Each, elton, george michael heart, woes can. In last night including chris, rock and celebrate debut. Odd bunch avril lavigne heather graham petra?
Grammys, mean could really, cheat probably cuties wasnt thought.
Spoilers justjared, julia roberts katie holmes, pamela.
Dont woman grammys mean could really cheat probably cuties. Sunny shores diego kicks spankin sounds. Elton george michael heart, woes, can trying.
Young starlet onlookers caught the.
Heres quick rundown never looked cuter.
Asked star fired former, assistant cobb view. Sos rescue, me went huge mate rihanna. Than grammy nominated popstar read more party. Sports, have tremendous amount buzz them.
Celebiries like came, followed tops desperate housewives. Nd live total request. Locks nasty beastie boys.
Too cute baby doll dress jensen ackles whether! Because she is after being dropped by label found.
Tell leave hell alone click play button say.
Eva longoria maria menounos sidekick!



Hey look her writing is improving!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: whidB on January 09, 2007, 01:14:54 PM
Sounds like the Last Words of Dutch Schultz...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on January 16, 2007, 04:56:39 PM
Interesting:

Quote
 
Subject:   unseemly pit viper
      Sent:   Mon, Jan 15, 2007 8:55 PM>

hmmmm.... I can handle being called a viper, but an unseemly viper? I'm devastated.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on January 18, 2007, 12:25:07 AM
Quote
from        Francisco <tm@gmail.com>       
to       Savannah    
date      Wed, 17 Jan 2007 21:15:55 --800 (EET)   
subject      retinal scab   

Our Loan Department is trying to reach you
You have been pre-qualified for a one-time program that will save you 35% off your current payment.
You could get up to $293,000 for as low as never.
Follow our link to complete your application
www . ooopzeqididit . com
To secure low rate please respond asap
Regards,
LendersTeam.

Sorry, but that just struck me as interestingly sneaky.
Also, yuck, retinal scab??
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on February 15, 2007, 08:03:03 PM
Quote
from  %FROM_NAME <""@from_email.livejournal.com>    
to  undisclosed-recipients <>   
date   Feb 15, 2007 7:04 PM

%TO_CC_DEFAULT_HANDLER
Subject: %SUBJECT
Sender: "%FROM_NAME" <%FROM_EMAIL>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html
Date: %CURRENT_DATE_TIME

%MESSAGE_BODY

Looks like someone's spam script barfed!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: ivan on February 16, 2007, 03:11:14 PM
Quote
Dear Friend,
 
 I am Barrister Charles  Oha,a solicitor at law,personal attorney to Mr.W.H.Davidoff,who used to work with Shell development Company in Lome Togo. Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of September 2003, my client,his wife and their two children were involved in a car accident along Kara-Sokode expressway while arriving from a Holiday to Lome. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives.
 
All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives.
Since then I have made several enquiries to  locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also prooved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to track his last name over the Internet,to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

Emphasis is mine. I thought that repeated sentence was a poetic style, imbuing this message with a chant-like quality. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

Unfortunately, this was not the case. The message rambles on for several more paragraphs, but nowhere else does that peculiar form of repetition occur. It appears to have been a mistake.

It appears to have been a mistake! But as often happens, it inspired in me an idea, an idea for a new way of writing.

A new way of writing!

WRITING!

NG!

!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on February 16, 2007, 03:36:34 PM
The same guy wrote me one too, but the dude who died was Mr. W.H. Shepherd, and he also worked for the Shell Development Company.  Small world, eh?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: ivan on February 16, 2007, 03:44:47 PM
Gosh, if only your relative had gotten to know my relative before they so tragically lost their lives!

Although I think my relative was probably a real bastard. HE NEVER WROTE!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on February 16, 2007, 04:32:17 PM
Mine never did either
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on March 26, 2007, 11:50:25 AM
today's wtf spam subject header: vasectomy measles
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 01, 2007, 11:29:13 AM
This isn't funny any more.

Quote from: disgusting shitsucking spammer
Dear Norm Nelson,

I am captain James .W. Brian in the US Marine Corps on Monitoring and Peace –keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. The reason why I’m explaining my finding to you is to seek for your assistance to enable you contributes immensely to the actualization of my dreams. On the 8th day of January 2007, we were alerted on the presence of some terrorist’s hideouts in Haifa Street, a long thoroughfare of high-rise buildings built by Saddam Hussein here in Baghdad.

After Immediate intervention by the Iraqi forces and ours, we were able to capture many foreign Arab fighters linked to al Qaeda in that operation and over 100 militants were killed on the process. Among the Arab fighters linked to al Qaeda two were interrogated by two of our intelligent investigators and I. They confessed that some of them are fighters for al Qaeda and some are for Ayman al-Zawahiri and they took us to some of their hideout which runs along the west bank
of the Tigris River that cuts through the capital.

When we invaded into the hideout, we recovered several guns, amour including some boxes among which two contains bullets, one filled with hard drugs (heroine) and the other two to my mazement contain some US Dollars which we assumed amounted to $23.2M after Iand two of the intelligent investigators counted them and it took us over 4 hours to get it counted.I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy so that we can have the money to our selves, they all agreed to the plan and they replied to me on how I can get this huge sum out of this country and I told them that it’s no problem. This motivated me to connive with my best friend in our force who went with me and the two other officers to keep the boxes in a safer place.

I am now in keen need of a "Reliable and Trustworthy" person like you who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me  untill my assignment elapses here.

I assure and promise to give you 10% of this fund, however feel free to negotiate what you wish to have as your percentage in this deal.Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission.

My Sincere regards,
Capt.Brian.James.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on May 01, 2007, 11:43:47 AM
If it was worth the increased spam, it would be amusing to ask who his CO is so that you could report him for, among other things, conduct unbecoming an officer.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Psidefect on May 01, 2007, 12:08:37 PM
Tell him you'd be happy to help, but you will require a small deposit of $1000 before you will agree to receive the boxes.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on May 01, 2007, 01:59:35 PM
What did they do with the box of heroine?  Was she still alive?  Is she hot?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 10, 2007, 10:24:07 AM
Quote from: much more amusing spammer

   From:      revvingescapism's@mailftp.com
   Subject:    The place bacon.
   Date:    May 9, 2007 12:36:45 PM PDT
   
Bank above the highlands where.A way that.Respect to one man.Was in his grave.The red men made.The indians did the.New netherland about..Is said about her.Heard that wamsutta was stirring.Lord baltimore dies; his son.About canonicus and.Did the war.Said of his death what.Speaking out so.Happened during the winter what.[footnote 7: goffe gof :.Why what did they.Left a son;.Potomac[1] river.The people of.Customs and laws  in.Rock was as.[illustration: map of maryland.Fire and burned many.Englishman who was.By making the.It was made.One and did their best.Houses carry off the.massachusetts; they.Part of america.Of worship or.Shed.Did not belong to.His old friend massasoit and.Of boston tried to.He had become a great.The revolution; washington;Or quaker church in the.Congress declared the united.Than to another and.Fog all of.Military leader of that.That of new york.They sent out people to.The english people many.Would hear an.England there had been.Not use horses;.Were counted; then.Against them and.Massachusetts feel about mr williams.King himself.They cooked specially.[footnote.Plymouth lost one of their.All about indian life.Be killed without.Smith's plan --on the.They could not have religious.Land ]  [footnote 2:.Said that the furs.Had been wounded in fighting.The society of.[illustration: the church.


THE PLACE BACON.

I am there. So there.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on May 10, 2007, 10:42:56 AM
Some dweeb used the mail address cpw at my sitename, and I've been getting loads of bounced and refused spam the last day. It seems to have ended around 4 AM, so I'm hopeful that's the end of it, but I changed all the passwords anyways.

In other news, spam bounces.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on May 12, 2007, 06:31:26 PM
Quote
Hello Dear,
 
I have Paid the fee for your Cheque Draft.but the manager of Eko Bank Benin told me that before the check will get to you that it will expire.
 
So i told him to cash $1,100.000.00 all the necessary arrangement of delivering the $1,100.000.00 in cash was made with GLOBAL TRUST COURIER COMPANY.
 
This in the information they need to delivery your package to you.
 
DR.MAXLLCEL HEBERT
EMAIL:gtccsediplomats@gmail.com
PHONE:+229 93 69 60 20
 
1.YOUR FULL NAME
2.YOUR HOME ADDRESS.
3.YOUR CURRENT HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER.
5.A COPY OF YOUR PICTURE
 
Sincerely Anthony John.
One wonders just how expensive that phone number is to call. Or what a nice goat picture would do as the current copy of "my" picture.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on May 18, 2007, 08:04:09 AM
Quote
From: ZENAH Hendershot <belongingsche@eisai.com.ph>

Hello my friend!

I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here (http://URLREDACTED.hk) are bad.

Look, the site and call me 1-800 if its wrong..

My dog and I are still alive :)


...bzuh? btw it does just say "1-800" with no other phone number.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on May 21, 2007, 02:52:26 PM
Quote
SUBJECT: your cock will be your master

Say nothing good of yourself, you will be distrusted say nothing bad of yourself, you will be taken at your word.
People travel in the way of least resistance, by choosing one's environment, one will travel in a particular way.
Man needs difficulties they are necessary for health.
The most advanced nations are always those who navigate the most.
Religion is as effectually destroyed by bigotry as by indifference.
The highest problem of any art is to cause by appearance the illusion of a higher reality.
We are all HIV-positive.
light for every darkness, life in death, the promise of our Lord's return, and the assurance of everlasting glory.
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters.
Old age is like flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.
In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Goodwill.
One's destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things.
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
When my horse is running good, I don't stop to give him sugar.
It is a cursed evil to any man to become as absorbed in any subject as I am in mine.
When anger rises, think of the consequences.
The advantage of time and place in all practical actions is half a victory which being lost is irrecoverable.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on May 21, 2007, 05:08:50 PM
Somewhere out there is a spammer who yearns for something more.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on May 26, 2007, 06:38:57 AM
Quote
If you want your dick to be bigger than you, try Penis Enlarge Patch.

(URL redacted)

After taking Penis Enlarge Patch, you will have to use the condom of the biggest size.



------------------------
  Seems kind o providential, havin so much money come to you just now, when your sister-in-laws jest died, and left you the first time in your life without anybody you got to stay and see to, dont it? commented the neighbor persistently.
he begins  to speak  his tongue  files the track and all those labored malesand  females  come out as  its. And  even  when  he is  reading German  tohimself, he always  calls those things it,  where  as he  ought to read in
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on June 13, 2007, 11:49:03 AM
Not spam, but sent to EVARYONE on campus:

Quote from: the chancellor's office
Subject: Today's Special Olympics Law Enforcement

Heh heh. I told you cops were retarded. Heh heh.

(apparently somebody's mail client truncated the subject, the rest should have said "charity something something") 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on June 21, 2007, 01:35:36 PM
Quote
Thieves steal Herman Munster's identity

Hmm. I haven't looked to see if that's out on DVD yet.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 21, 2007, 04:17:36 PM
Fairly recent:

From:  Stupid nations
Subject:  We are ready to loan you money
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: ivan on June 21, 2007, 04:23:52 PM
Yeah, Sierra Leone and Cote d'Ivoire are the new Nigeria.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 15, 2007, 03:39:06 PM
Got a few saved up.

Sender:  Regulated Goop
Subject:  Want medication?


Well, at least it's not the unregulated goop.


Sender:  Pumpkin V. Backtracker
Subject:  New decision in your favor


Alas, this was for penis extensions.  I was hoping it was a Supreme Court case.  I wanted to know if Pumpkin won.


Sender:  Colonel Extrapolation
Subject:  Wholesale Secrets Stolen From A Chinaman


Colonel, are you a war profiteer?


Sender:  Terraced P. Quadrant
Subject:  lawn service contract renewal


That almost made sense.


Sender:  Coached Rebellion
[no subject]



Sender:  Tussled Incrimination
Subject:  Have you seen my naked?


What, did you lose it in the tussle?


Sender:  Beater B. Assailants
Subject:  rats everywhere!


Sender:  Protozoan G. Confidant
Subject:  secret for you


If its about what Volvox did last weekend, I already heard.


Sender:  Changeling H. Placenta
Subject:  Visit my restaurant


:uncertain:


Sender:  Puffy Semites
Subject:  Have you seen these?


YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.  I think.  :hmm:


I've also gotten spam from "Nuts T. Stomachs" and "Swishing H. Englishman", but the subject lines were blank.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 17, 2007, 01:19:41 PM
Oh Bob they are so INCREDIBLY STOOPID

Quote
Suspension Notice   


   Your eBay userid has been unactivated

You have been unactivated from eBay because of current attacs on our servers.

Please reactivate your userid. Click here .
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: zenlunatic on July 17, 2007, 01:44:19 PM
I think I got one of those too.

I don't have an eBay account, or rather, I haven't for years...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: NexR on July 17, 2007, 06:33:55 PM
They did that to me and wouldn't let me reactivate it. Oh well, fuck em.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on July 17, 2007, 07:53:17 PM
Username: iamascammer
password: tracethisip
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: zenlunatic on July 17, 2007, 11:29:53 PM
oh Nex...


*shakes head*
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: NexR on July 18, 2007, 11:55:39 AM
oh Nex...


*shakes head*

What?

Don't make me smite you, noob!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on July 18, 2007, 05:16:47 PM
I'm getting tons of copies of both:

1) You have received an ecard from a (Mate/Colleague/Classmate/Family Member)! (always using a word that sounds strange and stilted instead of "from a friend" or some such)

2) "Hi, I am at the internet caffe. I am a lonely girl and you seem like a nice person..." Same wording for every single one. I wonder how many men really fall for these?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Stoater on July 18, 2007, 05:33:29 PM
80% + of the posters on Fark.

OH SNAP BITCHES!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 18, 2007, 05:50:15 PM
It's true.  I fell for it once, and she turned out to be a total bitch.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: zenlunatic on July 18, 2007, 08:43:58 PM
I was NOT being a bitch!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 18, 2007, 09:18:09 PM
Quote
I was NOT being a bitch!

MOM?!?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: ivan on July 23, 2007, 02:54:26 PM
The plot thickens:

Quote
Our Ref: CBN/GO/0X012/07.
 
DEAR CONTRACTOR/BENEFICARY
 
AFTER A SERIOUS THOUGHT, I DECIDED TO REACH YOU DIRECTLY AND PERSONALLY BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST YOU, BUT YOUR NIGERIAN PARTNERS.
I AM THE DIRECTOR OF WIRE TRANSFER/TELEX DEPARTMENT OF THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA, SOME TIME IN THE PAST YOUR  PARTNERS APPROACHED ME THROUGH A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WORKS WITH ONE OF THE MINISTRIES HERE AND REQUESTED THAT I ASSIST THEM CONCLUDE A MONEY TRANSFER DEAL AND WE ALL AGREED.
 
ACCORDING TO THEM, THEY WANTED TO USE THIS STRATEGY TO TRANSFER A HUGE AMOUNT OF US DOLLARS WHICH THEY ACCUMULATED THROUGH INFLATED CONTRACT AWARDS AND THE MONEY HAS BEEN FLOATING IN THE (CBN) SINCE THE ORIGINAL CONTRACTORS/BENEFICARY'S HAS BEEN FULLY PAID, SO THEY WANTED TO USE YOUR ACCOUNT TO TRANSFER THE SURPLUS OUT OF NIGERIA. WE AGREED THAT ONCE I DO THIS, THEY WOULD GIVE ME US$100,000.00 AND GIVE ME ANOTHER US$100, 000.00 WHEN I RELEASED THE FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT. WHEN THEY SAW THAT I HAVE DONE THAT AND YOUR NAME HAS BEEN APPROVED AMONG THE LIST OF THOSE TO BE PAID, INSTEAD OF GIVING ME THE AGREED DEPOSIT OF US$100,000.00, THEY STARTED AVOIDING ME AND RESORTED TO THREATS.
 
I IMMEDIATELY DELETED THEIR NAME AMONG THE LIST OF THOSE TO BE PAID BECAUSE OF MY POSITION, AND RELEASE OTHER CONTRACTORS/BENEFICARY FUND WITHOUT YOURS.
 
THEY BECAME ANGRY THE MORE WHEN THEY SAW THAT THEIR PLAN DID NOT WORK, AND STARTED BRIBING OTHER OFFICIALS TO GET ANOTHER APPROVAL TO TRANSFER THE MONEY TO YOU WITHOUT SUCCESS. APPROVALS ARE FREE, IS IT NOT FUNNY THAT A CONTRACTOR/BENEFICARY IS BEING ASKED TO PAY FOR APPROVAL WHILE HIS MILLIONS IS HERE WITH US? I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DELAY AND OBSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE OF THEIR BREACH OF CONTRACT. IF YOU DOUBT WHAT I HAVE JUST TOLD YOU, PAY ANY AMOUNT THEY WILL ASK YOU TO PAY NOW, AFTER A SHORT TIME THEY WILL COME UP WITH ANOTHER REASON TO PAY AGAIN AND IT GOES ON AND ON. NOW IF YOU WANT US TO WORK TOGETHER, THESE ARE MY CONDITIONS.
 
(I). I WILL HAVE 40% OF THE MONEY BECAUSE IT IS ONLY THE TWO OF US LEFT FOR NOW.
 
(II). YOU WILL ASSIST ME TO OPEN AN ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY OR ANY OTHER PLACE OF MY CHOICE WHERE I WILL TRANSFER IN MY OWN SHARE WHEN WE FINALIZE THE TRANSACTION AND YOU CONFIRM THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.
(III). AS YOU HAVE SEEN, IT WILL BE USELESS AND MERE WASTE OF MONEY IF YOU CONTINUE WITH ANY OTHER PERSON, SO WE WILL CONCLUDE THE TRANSACTION WITH UTMOST SECRECY AND CONFIDENTIALITIES.
 
IF THESE CONDITIONS ARE ACCEPTABLE TO YOU, CONTACT ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO LET US FINALISE ALL THE ARRANGEMENT AND FINALIZE THIS DEAL IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY. FINALLY, I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND TO SETTLE DOWN IN CALIFORNIA USA, WHEN WE FINALIZE THIS DEAL AND I HAVE STARTED MAKING ARRANGEMENT WITH SOME ESTATE AGENT TO LOOK FOR A FOUR BUNGALOW HOUSE FOR SALE.
 
I LOOK FORWARD TO HAVE A VERY GOOD BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU NOW AND IN THE FUTURE. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT DR. SANUSI IS NO LONGER OUR GOVERNOR, THE NEW CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA GOVENOR IS PROFESSOR CHARLES SOLUDO.
BEST REGARDS.
 
MR.ROWLAND SMITH.
 
DIRECTOR, FOREIGH OPERATION DEPT.CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: ivan on July 23, 2007, 02:55:21 PM
What's a "four bungalow house"?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: zenlunatic on July 24, 2007, 09:47:15 AM
Does it have a three-horse garage?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on July 24, 2007, 10:30:08 AM
Quote

Fondazion Di Vittorio Italy.
http://www.fondazionedivittorio.it
BATCH NO: (N-222-6747,E-900-56)


Congratulations as we bring to your notice, The Foundazion di Vittorio
has chosen you by the board of trusteesas one of the final recipients
of a cash Grant/Donation for your own personal, educational, and
business development. To celebrate the 30th anniversary program, We
are giving out a yearly donation of US$500,000.00 (Five Hundred
Thousand United States Dollars) to 40 lucky recipients, as charity
donations/aid from the VittorioFoundation, ECOWAS, EU and the UNO in
accordance with the enabling act of Parliament. which is part of our
promotion To  file for your claim you are to fill out below
information and send it to the Payment Remitance Office Via their
email contact address:

Full Name:..............................
Residential Address:.................
Occupation:..............................
Country::...................................
Telephone:...............................
Fax Number:............................
Sex:..........................................
Age:........................................
Next of Kin:..............................
Winning Batch No:....................

(Payment Remitance Contact)
Mr John Slaughter
E-Mail: foundation_fdv@yahoo.it

Also in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, remember
to quote your batch numbers and the following details; in all your
correspondence message.

Best Regards.
Mr. Carlo Ghezzi
Foundation President.


I got this at my university email account. I have sent numerous emails to publishing houses and libraries with .it adresses from my school account due to studying obscure Italian theological texts. I guess this is how these crackhead scammers got my address....    :eyeroll: :whatever:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 24, 2007, 01:47:46 PM
Whoa.

Quote
Subject: facxea Bietet Heute f&#252;r Sie An, norm
Date: July 24, 2007 12:45:18 PM PDT

allo {, MAILTO_USERNAME}
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Sie wollen, der Ihres “ Gurke “ GROSS & STARK geworden ist, als ein STEIN?

Sie möchten sich an eine jungen Jahre... erinnern

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Tippen Sie Browser (ohne Plätze) Presse Einträgt ein.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 02, 2007, 06:03:17 PM
From:  Hawkmaster J
Subject:  Some Bad News, But My Girlfriend Is Hot


Nice of the Hawkmaster to write and tell me that his glass is half-full.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on August 10, 2007, 04:35:17 PM
I've been getting tons of variations on this.
The almost-makes-sense English is creepy.

Quote
from        "David I. Eastman" 
to       "Jonathan C. Hinson"
date      Aug 10, 2007 11:14 AM   
subject      My boyfriend's peter is too big for my mouth.   

Princesses always whooped at me and even chaps did in the municipal toilet!
Well, now I sriek at them, because I took M E _G_A_D_ IK
for 5 months and now my putz is extremely best than civil.

Quote
from        "Lucio N. Hopper"
to       "Olin T. Galloway"
date      Aug 10, 2007 5:42 AM   
subject      I just started having sex, and my boyfriend keeps popping out when we do it.   

Womens always srieked at me and even men did in the municipal bathroom!
Well, now I hee-haw at them, because I took M_E_G. ADI. K
for 3 months and now my dick is excessively more than average.

Quote
   from       "Doyle S. Cobb"    
   to       "Aubrey M. Moody"
   date      Aug 10, 2007 5:30 PM   
   subject      Can you tell me what's wrong, and how we can fix it?   
 
Dolls always whooped at me and even gars did in the free lavatory!
Well, now I smil at them, because I took Mega. Dik
for 7 months and now my prick is hugely greater than world.

Quote
        from         "Milford X. Fulton"
   to       "Dannie E. Lynn" 
   date      Aug 10, 2007 10:38 AM   
   subject      My boyfriend's tool keeps slipping out.   

Babes always whooped at me and even fellows did in the national john!
Well, now I whoop at them, because I took Meg, a dik.
for 7 months and now my penis is immensely longer than average.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 10, 2007, 06:26:30 PM
Last one's the best one.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on August 14, 2007, 04:07:26 PM
They're sending me poetry now!

Quote
It is as though I were at a second threshold.
With sun's warmth wasted on a stone,
Beneath a pile of corpses, lying massed
Floating on the sky.
Homeward into the howling woods, although
(Our fortitude grows dim in
The pain of being born into matter.
visitors' dugout. The osprey whose nest is atop
That square—Oh, 56 x 56
The snowflakes are swirling, blotting out
And piled up at the base of the columns
Between the high and the low, in this night.
That square—Oh, 56 x 56
Partly stone, partly the absence of stone,
This gap in time, this season not their own,
Unreadable from behind—they are well down
Not so much of place as of renewed hope,
on their own little seat cushions, wearing soft caps
VI. Smeerenburg and the Whale-Oil Rush

....

??
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 14, 2007, 06:39:25 PM
I am envious of your spamfeed.
Title: puppies!
Post by: Encino Man on September 19, 2007, 09:22:31 AM
http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/258085

I just don't feel sorry for these people anymore.

'Free puppies from Nigeria!'

How stupid are people??
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 19, 2007, 12:33:44 PM
I got a 419 spam last night. It was in HTML and most of it was just plain sentences. The terms for the country, national bank and so on were underlined though, so it probably would have looked like a filled in form letter.

It wasn't worth reading the entire HTML to figure out if it was safe, but the dashed underlines amused me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 06, 2007, 04:17:01 PM
Sender:  Athilu Huhaw
Subject:  See my chubby gordons


No . . . I think not.


I got a funny Nigerian Scam letter from Cote d'Ivoire for "[long number in local money] ($530 US!!!)".  They were trying so hard, and who knows?  Maybe more people will fall for $500 (or get hooked and later believe in larger sums) than would fall for $5 million.


Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on October 11, 2007, 11:25:46 PM
Quote
from       "Burton O. Wolf"    
to       "Alvaro E. Morrow"
date      Oct 12, 2007 4:39 PM   
subject      Your masculinity just needed Megadik and larger penis!   

to hearing a job offer. But first Marquez sat through George Sorossneeded to neutralize the Soviet-manufactured weaponry
story. Acceding to be interviewed, he noted that youre dealing with$103 million; the following year, 1979, it had a 59.1 percent hike with


Have they ever told you this, "No way! Your penis is really tiny!"?
Didn't you feel stupid?
Don't let women prefer dildo to you ! Megadik will bring you to your sexual dreams! You just have to trust this excellent preparation!
"Wow! Your penis is so large!" Isn't that what you dream to hear every day?
Soon you'll be the only one women will hunt for! Megadik is your real cure!

Here is the wished link



these stocks nosedived, making a good deal of money for the fund.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 12, 2007, 12:27:43 AM
Knowing what I know now about Dave Mustaine, I think "Megadik" might have been a better name for the band.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on October 12, 2007, 10:15:01 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 13, 2007, 05:56:35 PM
Subject:  60% of MIT cheerleaders are Asian!

:hmm:

That might even be true.  Seems a little high, though.

It did make me wonder what was in the note, but it's always a disappointment.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on October 18, 2007, 10:02:49 AM
It's the almost-English that gets me.

Quote
from: Christy Tyson <akstccityofstockbridgemnsdgs @ cityofstockbridge.com>    


Hi, still sweating at your work? The answer is lying on the surface. You’re fagged, man, I can tell! But relax, lot’s of people have the similar problems. Do you know that an immense grow of people suffering from a sexual disorder is observed, the number of people JUST LIKE YOU is nightmarishly huge. Why? It’s a modern life style. You get-you pay. Everything is your concern. No wonder you tied.
Plus, environmental situation leaves much to be desired, groceries. What’s the outcome? When comes to intimacy you are failure. Your battery is simply dead . No wonder your better half is gone, your girlfriend is on her way to pack up her stuff and be off.
But guess what? there is an answer to your questions. You can manage that, enrich your sexual life, feel you WANT and YOU FINE. And WE’LL GIVE YOU A LIFT. And I’ll bet it works.
I’m sure you’re informed about Viagra.
You think that it’s ridiculously expensive.
Then you’d be pleased to see that! Check out the prices, this deal is decent!

Viagra- $1.53

That’s not too bad ha?! It’s real, the whole secret is that you’re not taxed for the right to distribute the product.
Be strait up, buy strait ahead.
And have a nice one!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on November 08, 2007, 10:54:50 PM
Emphasis theirs...
I'm dying. OF LOL.

Quote
from       Jessie D. Elkins
to        "Gwendolyn P. Wills"
date       Nov 8, 2007 10:44 PM
subject      Beat her womb with your giant
   
progress has been made and there is now no good reasonskid off the runway and veer into a boundary fence. An66.6% of all those who do have a data cap, have a limit


That's great you've got a gal that's hot
You wanna plough her moistened twat.

She looks so sizzling, she's so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will yearn for more?
You need a thing she would adore!
But how to make it long and thick?
Your only chance is MegaDik!

You'll get so wanted super-size
And see great pleasure in her eyes!
Your schlong will slam her pink so deep,
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!

So try today this magic p'ill
And change your life at your own will!


minutes. All would be for naught for the homesideBeing Served? was known and loved throughout the world.that people feel their ability to use coastal waters is
Animals arrived, liked the look of the place, took uppeople of Northern Ireland want. They deserve no less."According to the Londonpaper, dated 8th of March,
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: 12ax7 on November 09, 2007, 01:25:28 AM
*pluck-strum;  country feel*:

       G   
That's great you've got a gal that's hot

    C
You wanna plough her moistened twat.

     D
She looks so sizzling, she's so nice!

     G
But would your penile size suffice?


Not sure she will yearn for more?

     C
You need a thing she would adore!

    D
But how to make it long and thick?

      G
Your only chance is MegaDik!

        G
You'll get so wanted super-size

     C
And see great pleasure in her eyes!

         D
Your schlong will slam her pink so deep,

    G
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!

    G
So try today this magic p'ill

     C                   D        G
And change your life at your own will!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on November 09, 2007, 09:26:41 AM
I'm totally covering that if I get a gig.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: whidB on November 09, 2007, 02:05:26 PM
I pictured it like those Burma Shave signs...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on December 20, 2007, 02:05:16 PM
Quote
If some boy called bum_tnoo7@hotmail.com adds u don't accept it because its a hacker!!
Tell everyone on your list because if somebody on your list adds them u get them on your list he'll figure out Your ID computer address, so copy and paste this message to everyone even if u don't care for them and fast cause if he hacks their email he hacks your mail too!!!

This stupidity is being forwarded all over Facebook.

 :eyeroll:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on March 27, 2008, 06:22:44 PM
Quote
date   Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 6:05 AM
subject    Can not satisfy your chick increase your wife

   
Try new mode of banana  increasing.

The preferences of this technology:

* Enlarge 3+ Inches in size.

* Increase Your bell-rope Width (Girth) By upto 20%.

* Help Stop Premature Ejaculation!

* Your girl will come more often


* Erection will be mush harder

* Doctor Approved And Recommended
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on March 27, 2008, 09:50:19 PM
Now there's a typo!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: BizB on April 26, 2008, 01:31:54 PM
Subject: Give better action with your tool
Body: Jam it raw into her like LeBron James capping a perfect 10 dunk. *spamlinkhere*


So, that's what you ladies are looking for?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on April 26, 2008, 03:07:36 PM
This reminds me... ever since PsiDefect made the joke about me accidentally videotaping myself, I'm getting spam offering to show me the nude videos of myself. Apparently I'm popular in China and Russia.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on April 26, 2008, 03:13:19 PM
We Americans are still interested too.

 :knotty:

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: NexR on April 26, 2008, 09:10:52 PM
Not me!

Not me!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on May 23, 2008, 06:34:17 AM
Quote
Update your penis!

How do I check to see which version I'm currently running?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 15, 2008, 03:09:42 PM
Quote
norm Professor:
   Hello, I see your database in the University of Cambridge published a paper on the aquatic breeding, I think you should also require the use of PIT TAGS, we are specialized in producing PIT TAGS, good quality of our products are cheap, welcomed the consultation.

I am an expert in the aquatic breeding.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on July 15, 2008, 03:35:17 PM
Dr. Professor?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on July 26, 2008, 02:11:59 PM
"Britney Spears and Michael Jackson writing parenting book together."
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: whidB on July 26, 2008, 03:05:05 PM
Ah yes, PIT Tags, the Tag of Peacetm
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on July 30, 2008, 06:08:13 PM
Mary Xee, I do not need your offshore website design service... you've sent me at least one email a day for the last two month... *starts pulling out hair*
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 31, 2008, 08:52:30 AM
I only ever get spam for Canadian pharmacies and replica watches nowadays.  It makes me miss the giant-penis emails.
Title: Hey Mike
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 18, 2008, 01:51:52 PM
Dude, new job, and doctorate of divinity? Nice! Or should I say, YAY(i boni)! Hopefully you telecommute, Benin sounds sucky.

Bonus points for fraud stars. Celebrities of scam!


Quote from: Rev. Maxwell Adams

From The Desk Of  Rev. Dr. Mike Andrews
Financial Minister Republic Of Benin.
Foreign Contractor /Fund inheritance Payment Office.
Attn: Beneficiary,     
   
We the federal ministry of finance Benin Republic wishes to notify you of your payment inheritance funds, which $1,000,000.00 dollars has been agreed to be sent to you.  After the meeting held on 30th of June 2008, His Excellency the PRESIDENT  OF BENIN REPUBLIC DR. YAYI BONI, has Instructed this Department to send you the sum of $1,000,000.00 through western union money transfer as part payment of your inherited funds without any further delay to avoid you paying more money to the fraud stars.


This decision has been made to clear our name from international contractors/ fund inheritance debt, as we're not happy that people are being owed their rightful funds here unclaimed due to no reliable source to claim the said fund, it is giving this country a very bad image and we want it to be stopped. please do indicate to us if your fund pending here is above what has been decided to be sent to you, as we're at your service and would like you to keep this process top secret, to avoid wrong claim of funds by your closed friends. It is advised to keep the fund transfer process top secret till the funds is transferred to your access, for security reasons.


You are required to forward your name and address were you want your funds to be sent through western union money transfer, and the maximum amount  you will receive per day starting from the day we commence the transfer is $100,000 dollars. This transfer will be done within 10 days from the date we commence the transfer.
Also you are required to send the sum of $300 dollars only for renewing and re-confirmation of your payment file that was deposited in this office with your name as due process demands. Fill the form below and forward it to the western union paying agent.


Your Receiver's name__________________
Your country__________________________
Your city_____________________________
Your text question_____________________
Your Answer__________________________
Telephone____________________________


Contact the western union paying agent with below information's:

Contact Person Rev.  Maxwell Adams
EMAIL: rev.maxwell.adams@live.fr
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on September 18, 2008, 02:20:55 PM
 :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:

Friggin guy. I knew he was up to something down there.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: whidB on September 18, 2008, 02:50:16 PM
"The Reverend Doctor..."

Can you think of a more suave designation? I can't...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: bit zero on September 19, 2008, 10:29:29 AM
I have a YAYI BONI in my pants.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 19, 2008, 10:42:13 AM
I have no idea what that is, but did you bring enough to share with the whole class?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on September 23, 2008, 12:15:55 PM
OMG you guys!  I'm going to be a teen model!

Ford Models sent you a message:

-----------------
Subject: Win a Ford Modeling Contract

MySpace has teamed up with Ford Models for the Next Fresh Faces contest, and you could be the newest
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on September 23, 2008, 12:32:28 PM
OMG you guys!  I'm going to be a teen model!

Ford Models sent you a message:

-----------------
Subject: Win a Ford Modeling Contract

MySpace has teamed up with Ford Models for the Next Fresh Faces contest, and you could be the newest


*SHRIEK*

OMG GURL UGO! G2G TL PPL
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on September 23, 2008, 02:04:31 PM
We have hijacked your baby[/i]

Hey We have hijacked your baby but you must pay once to us $50 000. The details we will send later...

We has attached photo of your fume

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 23, 2008, 02:09:02 PM
We have hijacked your baby[/i]

Hey We have hijacked your baby but you must pay once to us $50 000. The details we will send later...

We has attached photo of your fume



You know? That one, with complete headers, should go to your local FBI office.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on September 23, 2008, 04:34:38 PM
 :hmm: :hmm: :hmm:

You been eating spicy foods lately? I mean, after all, they do have a photo of your fume.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on September 23, 2008, 04:48:29 PM
That one comes with a virus attached.  It was sent to my work addy all last week.

Since no one around here seems to be missing a baby, I've just been forgetting about them.


Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on September 23, 2008, 04:55:48 PM
They got my baby too.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on September 23, 2008, 05:09:28 PM
But I thought maybe a dingo ate your baby?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on September 23, 2008, 05:10:13 PM
I figured it was the KKK.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on October 13, 2008, 10:18:37 AM
Greetings.
golden rain parties - 5 black sausages - updated video

http://Nicolas.kjyuewx.com

Sincerely, Elisa Cooke.




Don't go to that site.


Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: vox8 on October 13, 2008, 12:00:13 PM
But I like sausage.

Especially on my pizza.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on October 20, 2008, 04:01:05 PM
Hello

My name is Mrs. Edith Gardner a 65yrs old lady. I have been diagnosed with lung cancer and the doctor said that it is a disease of uncontrolled cell growth in tissues of the lung.
This growth has lead to the invasion of adjacent tissue and infiltration beyond my lungs. The doctor has told me that I would not last for long due to my condition.
Having to know my present condition, I have decided to give away my personal jewelry box, I was a collector of all kinds of gold jewelry for the past 30years.
I am willing to give this to a non profit group or a struggling social worker who will sell these golds and use the funds for a good cause.
Let me know what kind of work you do and how this would benefit your cause.
King Regards,

Edith.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 21, 2008, 10:51:15 AM
Quote
I have been diagnosed with lung cancer and the doctor said that it is a disease of uncontrolled cell growth in tissues of the lung.

Renegade doctors, mang.

I'd email back saying "Sorry -- I'm filthy rich, so no thanks.  But give my warm wishes to King Regards."
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on October 21, 2008, 08:33:13 PM
From: icespice412(at)aol.com
Subject:

Joe Bonham’s life is very similar to the song by Seven Wiser, Losing Grip. When it says “I don’t know who I am anymore Or why I’m holding on I feel so useless everyday I wake up so ashamed”.  Joe knows he is useless and is incapable of doing anything. He has nothing to live for, and just prays for a second chance.  He’s falling further from a normal life everyday, and inching closer to death.


Wut.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on October 21, 2008, 08:37:10 PM
That's, like, DEEP spam, mang.

... pass me that Dorito bag.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on October 21, 2008, 08:43:39 PM
It's like an angsty high-schooler's review of Johnny Got His Gun.  But why did they think I needed to read it?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on October 21, 2008, 11:02:01 PM
That's, like, DEEP spam, mang.

... pass me that Dorito bag.

Doritos have MSG in them. Look it up on the label.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on October 21, 2008, 11:12:00 PM
?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on October 21, 2008, 11:27:58 PM
MSG makes things tasty.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on October 22, 2008, 04:53:05 AM
Yep. I bought a shaker of it from Jungle Jim's for when soups or whatever experiments fall flat. It's a life-saver for flava fails. It's also that white coating on seaweed, which is where it comes from. There was a big ZOMGMSG killin your ass beware campaign for most of the 80's and 90's - so I like to bust out the Doritos MSG trivia whenever the opportunity arises. I'm like a Stupid Facts Ninja that way. Waitin in the bushes with my bag of tasty treats.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on October 22, 2008, 10:54:24 AM
Yeah, MSG only causes headaches in Chinese food, not any of the other million foods it's used in.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 22, 2008, 12:43:15 PM
Hydrolyzed soy protein is often basically MSG, too.  MSG itself was originally in that there seaweed, but nowadays they make it by adding bacteria to industrial cast-off carbohydrates.  Vat food!  We need more of that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on October 22, 2008, 04:27:51 PM
Vat food in a spam thread - fitting!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 30, 2008, 12:19:28 PM
I got an email attributed to Joe Biden called "Free Pictures Of My Wife!!!"

:uncertain:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on October 30, 2008, 12:51:42 PM
What?  She's pretty cute.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 30, 2008, 03:37:04 PM
Actually, I don't know what she looks like.  I'm just so sick of the constant pestering from MoveOn and other lefty email people (who refuse to take me off their mailing lists) that Biden hawking nekkid photos of his wife seemed like the final straw.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on November 04, 2008, 10:55:04 PM
Quote
On Fri, 31 Oct 2008 10:05:30 +0200 we received a third party complaint of invalid domain contact information in the Whois database for this domain Whenever we receive a complaint, we are required by ICANN regulations to initiate an investigation as to whether the contact data displaying in the Whois database is valid data or not. If we find that there is invalid or missing data, we contact both the registrant and the account holder and inform them to update the information.

Yeah, right. A) They sent the message to the wrong account 2) I'm not with Network Solutions, and q) I've gotten six of those today with different vendors but all have a different web address than shows on the text of the message.

Still - for a moment I freaked out. I was overdue paying my support site by a day.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on November 22, 2008, 05:30:25 PM
I'm a Father!!!

this one just touched my heart so . . . 

Dear One (In the Name of the Almighty God).
Email;   jli.mkone@gmail.com

  Dear Respected ,

How are you, your work and all your family? i hope that you are fine. And also the weekend is very very good to you.

i have cried and prayed so much since i see your email address now i decided to write to you these letter.. Please do not hurt me please. please do not be angry. i know it is not good to contact someone you do not know, but I do not know anything to do again. these is why I contact you for these assistance. please accept me as your son. Please do not be angry because I write to you this letter, please do not be sad with my situation, but accept me because God give me these grace to write to you these letter.

I am 17 years old. My father was successful in his business. he has a very big farm, and also a company where the produce plastics but he sold all of them when sickness became so much for him. the night father died, he called me beside his dying bed and say to me to take a document that he hide inside the roof of the house inside my room. he say I should never show it to any one unless i have someone from a foreign country who will be my guardian and will manage the money for me and make me to come over to his country to stay. I did not understand what father was saying until he died. then I went home and searched for the document and saw it and inside I discovered that father deposited the sum of 8million usa dollars (usa $8million)in a bank and he used my name as the beneficiary/Next of Kin. so when the situation became so hard for me, I took the documents and ran away.

Many times I call the bank manager on telephone with the contact address that father gave to me, so he say I should do what my father say because the have an agreement with father and the will keep with it because I have to be 25 years old before the will release the money to me. now I have contact you with my whole life, I want you to be my guardian, and stand for me since I do not have any idea about these, and because I am a small boy of 17 years, I want to present you to the bank and the will transfer the money to you and you will bring me over to your country. My situation is very bad, and I am very sick now.

I shall send to you all the documents that father give to me. And also I shall give to you the contact of the bank so you contact them as my guardian. Now I want to ask you these questions, please answer me from your heart.

1) Will you help me as you will help your own son since I am just 17years and I do not know what to do?
2) Will you promise me that you will not betray me and take my inheritance when the bank transfers it to you? Because you will take care of me and my money until when I grow up to handle it.
3) Will you make me to continue my education and become a better boy in the future? And please tell me how much you will take when the money is transferred to you.

As soon as I hear from you, I shall give to you the contact of the bank so you will contact them as my guardian and tell them to transfer my inheritance to you.

Please accept me as your own son and be good to me. I shall always be a good boy to you and your family all my life.

I am your son
Ali Kone-Mamadou jr.


i can bring him and raise him to be a master thief. with that kind of stake we could pull off a great heist.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 23, 2008, 10:17:20 AM
I like how he starts off by hoping you had a good weekend.  And, hey, did you catch that sporting event on TV?


Quote
i have cried and prayed so much since i see your email address

In fairness, it is a very sad email address.
Title: Ok, this is simply awesome.
Post by: ivan on December 02, 2008, 11:37:39 AM
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc

Attn: Beneficiary,

  This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have
thoroughly Investigated with the help of our  Intelligence Monitoring Network
System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to
be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza,
Mr Frank Nweke, Mr. Nwachukwu, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks,
kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Dr. Usman
Shamsuddeen, Dr. Philip Mogan, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the
Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the
reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled
your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance
Payment.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and
they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment
intotal USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money
from any ATM CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000
United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund
in an ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you
have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the
American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via
his email or phone for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your
behalf which will cost you $250.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which
contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

CONTACT INFORMATION
Name : Dr. Andrew Hall
Director- General, ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTRE
Federal Republic of Nigeria
Central District Area, Abuja
Tel : +234 12132294
Cell: +234 7032886904

EMAIL: andrew_hall@yahoo.cn

Do contact Mr. Andrew Hall of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details:

FULL NAME:
HOME ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
BANK NAME:
AGE:

So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment information’s
which you'll use in making payment of $250.00 via Western Union Money Transfer
or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which
the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address
without any further delay.

We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT
CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our
Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.

Thanks and hope to read from you soon.

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR, FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming
to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in
contact with Mr. Andrew Hall of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful
person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any
emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and
commence investigation.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on December 02, 2008, 12:00:15 PM
You'd think that "monetary" would be spelled correctly.  :eyeroll:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on December 02, 2008, 12:03:40 PM
Sign that email up on the stile project mailing list. As well as the one from the infected machine that sent it to you.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on December 06, 2008, 08:12:52 PM
Wait, Ben of FedEx is an imposter? But he's always so nice when he comes to the door and asks for my signature....
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on March 13, 2009, 11:44:41 AM
Sharpen your male bayonet

 :cry: I don't want to...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on March 13, 2009, 02:01:23 PM
Sharpen????

And, wouldn't that make it smaller?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 13, 2009, 09:04:52 PM
And stabbier.  Maybe it's one of those babelfish errors.  I used to get a lot of hilarious badly translated spam from Germany.


I have no idea how I got on that list, though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on March 14, 2009, 07:20:55 AM
I got one recently with the subject "Open her odorous gates".

I'm sure there's an erotic thought behind that, like they're referring to a pleasant odor, but it's not the way it hit me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on May 11, 2009, 03:05:06 PM
The title of this one REALLY caught my eye this morning:

Fornication - Beyond the Destructive Affect it Has on Men's Lives, Misrepresents Heavenly Realities

Since it came to my work email, I thought it was a legitimate press release -- I seem to be on some right-wing email list and get all kinds of crazy shit, so this seemed no different.

Alas, it was just pill popper spam. :thumbsdn:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 07, 2009, 02:20:37 PM
Today:

Read This Note Or Get Constipated


Worst chain letter ever.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 18, 2009, 12:03:21 PM
From: Shafer Edwardsonia

Subject:  The Plan of Work

Work because work is where we work for work.  The plan is to be found at Canadian Pharmacy.


This explains so much about where I work.  :hmm:

Also, our Neighbors to the North become less comprehensible every day.  I blame Quebec.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on June 29, 2009, 10:51:54 PM
uh...

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on June 30, 2009, 12:37:33 AM
Somebody there's full of Bolshevik, that's for sure.  :nuts: :nuts: :nuts:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 30, 2009, 11:30:37 AM
Still, just another bit of emphasis on the importance of coffee in modern history.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 11, 2009, 10:44:16 AM
Sender:  Reve Mapson

Subject:  that note i sent you

:eek:

Weird.  Some kind of in-joke, I guess.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 15, 2009, 11:11:12 AM
Sender:  Torgo

Subject:  The weasel is the most animal like a penis


Torgo, I'm going to have to kill you now . . . .
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 15, 2009, 11:26:22 AM
But he's only looking after the place while the master's away ...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on July 15, 2009, 02:52:09 PM
 :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: First Post on July 15, 2009, 02:54:18 PM
The haunting Torgo theme.  Yeah, why hasn't anybody remade that movie yet?

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 15, 2009, 03:06:49 PM
The stupid thing is my subconscious considering if he's right about the weasel.

:eyeroll:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 15, 2009, 03:09:03 PM
Well, there's the Fat Innkeeper Worm, Urechis caupo, which from time to time can look very phallic. And pink!

Edit: GIS left as an exercise for the student
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 15, 2009, 03:11:30 PM
The haunting Torgo theme.  Yeah, why hasn't anybody remade that movie yet?



Brad Pitt to play Torgo (http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/contributor/1800018965/photo/439556)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 15, 2009, 03:14:29 PM
:spittake:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on July 15, 2009, 04:47:28 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on July 16, 2009, 04:11:40 PM
 :rollin:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 16, 2009, 04:40:47 PM
Quote
Well, there's the Fat Innkeeper Worm

First, excellent name for the critter.

But, second, for some reason I assumed Torgo was restricting his choice to the world of mammals.  I'm not sure why I thought so, though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on July 17, 2009, 07:51:09 AM
Quote
Greetings brother!
The White Nationalism community would like to Welcome you to our new Whites-only web forum.

Here we discuss ways to deal with the jewish menace and the mud people invasion.
 
Click the link below to visit our site:


 :(
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on July 17, 2009, 08:09:21 AM
 :hmm:

1) Snopes

2) If they're real, they need to be evicted from the internet.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on July 17, 2009, 08:11:38 AM
:hmm:

1) Snopes

2) If they're real, they need to be evicted from the internet.

I've been getting lots and lots of spam promoting a website called f2bbs.com in the last few days. The rhetoric is being ratcheted up every day. The above anti-semitic stuff is just the latest. I've received at least 5 of them in my inbox this morning, god knows how many are being filtered out.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on July 17, 2009, 08:21:09 AM
And you guys know me, I abhore that racist shit. I'm with the little yellow guy on this one.

(http://i27.tinypic.com/x3w5f.gif)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 17, 2009, 12:50:49 PM
How the holy pluperfect hedgehog fuck would they know if everyone who visits their website is white?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on July 17, 2009, 12:58:42 PM
How the holy pluperfect hedgehog fuck would they know if everyone who visits their website is white?
White IPs have a prime number in the third octet...

And yes, I know mine is 10 at the moment...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 18, 2009, 09:45:15 AM
:huh:

Considering that most women online are men, I find it hard to believe that most honkies are actually honkies.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Tripper on July 20, 2009, 09:24:08 PM
My friend Fong likes to tell me "You die next Joe!" when he gets drunk.  That and quote "Running Scared."

Hughes and Constanza don't pay me no more. Oh no, he missed the double jeopardy question because he didn't know who Deuteronomy was.  Mama?  Can I have some petite marshmallows?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 21, 2009, 01:09:30 PM
My brother quotes the Petite Marshmellows bit all the time.  Unfortunately, with his talent for voices, he does it in Graham Chapman's "I only had three tins!" voice.  Usually, every voice he tries to do winds up coming out Irish Pirate, so this is actually something of a triumph.



Today's WTF spam:

Sender:  Maurice C.

Subject:  The hole is the most flavorful part of the ass

I already knew this.  But that sentence sounds like it should be a Farkenmeme.




Also, I can't help but imagine that Marice C. is Maurice Chevalier, which puts a bizarre accent on that.  :googily:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 23, 2009, 06:06:03 PM
Sender:  James Taylor & Ass

Subject:  LEGITIMATE PROPOSAL!!!

I've seen fire, and I've seen rain, but I've never seen James Taylor's ass.  And I'm good with that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on August 05, 2009, 08:53:05 AM
not spam, but a funny Gmail ad over my inbox:

You Tubes - Tube.Pronto.com - 200+ You Tubes at Great Prices. Shop, Compare and Save at Pronto.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 05, 2009, 09:04:10 AM
:thumbsdn:  Tube.Pronto.com just redirects to Pronto.com, which looks unimpressive.  Not so much with the tubes.


Today's WTF spam:

Sender:  Me

Subject: Hitler had a woman sensation!  TRY OUR PHARMACY.

Did Hitler have that sensation after he tried your pharmacy?  I'm not sure this is a tremendous recommendation, although maybe someone needs a marketing stamp that reads HITLER-APPROVED.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 06, 2009, 05:45:42 PM
Man, I am getting barrel-bottom spam these days.

Sender:  Babette Iqvac

Subject:  Poo eaters' community -- Can't see this email?  VIEW IN BROWSER

Dear god, no, I will not view in browser.


edit:  Fortunately, Gmail's context ad was still about Spam.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 07, 2009, 02:13:30 PM
Sender:  Prof Werstrum

Subject:  Ruby Bingo - on your penis!

Eww.

So close to Wernstrum! but not quite.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on August 21, 2009, 11:19:35 AM
Quote
Women may not say it to your face, but they all want a larger, harder man. MAGNUM PRO is the answer. This all natural male sexual enhancement product can take you to the next level. If you’re looking for stronger, firmer, easier to achieve erections, it’s time to try pure MAGNUM PRO. It’s original, once-daily tablet for Natural Male Enhancement, enjoyed by over 3 million men worldwide. Taken once a day, pure MAGNUM PRO supports the strongest, most powerful erections possible to help you achieve peak sexual enhancement.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 22, 2009, 10:37:49 AM
I keep getting more spam advertising 'ruby bingo', whatever that is, and also with the apparently Russian word 'spotret' in the subject line.

:shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on August 25, 2009, 08:20:01 PM
Quote
Hola from Russian Federation. I am a girl of 28 years. I am Natali. My
hometown is Vishenka.
It is not far from St. Petersburg.
I am looking forward to find a freind from America. I got your mail on
the Internet dating agency.
I hope that you will send a message for me and we will try to
establish our friendship with you. Hope you are not against of it.
I have no children. I am single.

My height 165 cm
My weight 55 kg
Age 28
I am thin

Please, if you are interested in me, write me back and I will give you my pics.
Right?

Give me a chance and who knows, maybe we will be a perfect couple...
Probably, we will have a date very soon.

Write me on to the following e-mail address:
hywhcja@rambler.ru

Waiting for your mail. See you soon Trully yours
Natasha


SOLD!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Tripper on August 25, 2009, 08:43:34 PM
As part of my job search, it was recommended to Google search yourself and set some alerts in case somebody starts trash talking you.  I've found out I have a band in the Northwest and am a city councilman somewhere in Massachusetts (or someplace in Yankeeland).  Today was this gem:

Roger Benson Spanking Art
With roger benson the road as his home he puts an increased distance between himself and his family, this one last job will provide the means to end all ...

Given the fact that I'm working an out of state contract, that's weird.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: NexR on August 25, 2009, 08:57:47 PM
I keep pretty close tabs on the three other people in America that share my name.  It's not that I'm stalking them.  It's that they're too stupid to give out their proper gmail addresses.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 26, 2009, 02:28:38 PM
My brother cyberstalks people who have his name, especially if they're wealthy / powerful and about the same age as him.

You know, just in case.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on August 26, 2009, 03:59:39 PM
From this morning:

(http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2704/picture2dfa.jpg)


Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 26, 2009, 04:39:15 PM
I knew they faked something on that birth certificate!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Tripper on August 27, 2009, 07:09:10 AM
BLOCKED!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 27, 2009, 01:33:58 PM
Our caplets will help you talk to her!

Um . . . a cure for male-pattern shyness?  Stutterer's Viagra?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: NexR on August 27, 2009, 01:40:27 PM
It already exists.  It's called Quaalude.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on August 27, 2009, 05:15:12 PM
Ah, such a sad story about the fall of the Quaalude....

I'm getting DOZENS of duplicate emails (filtered through Postini, fortunately) that appear to be sent from my own work email for controlled substance type Pfizer pharmaceuticals. Except the deep discount they offer keeps changing.

77% off? yes please! wait, only 71% off? Wait, now 79% off? Oh, only 75% off....
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: NexR on August 27, 2009, 05:50:03 PM
Maybe they're doing market testing to see which number garners the most responses.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on August 28, 2009, 12:04:23 PM
I would LOVE some 'ludes right now. Never had one, but the sales brochure is compelling.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on September 05, 2009, 09:20:46 PM
Just got an email from a 'Sarah Titley' and I was about to delete it without reading it as porno spam when a moment of curiousity overwhelmed me so I opened it. It's a woman who is dating an Ontario rugby player who wants to buy a print of a photo I took of him.  :doh: :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 10, 2009, 03:48:16 PM
The last time we were in the fabric store with Amy's grandmother, we asked, once again, to be put on the emailing list. Filled out the forms, and the clerk put a code on to tell them we'd had trouble joining in the past. I even went and filled one out for Grandma Luddite, and created an email account for her under my domain.

Of the three of us, guess who got the email? Go ahead, guess.

Quote
Entire Stoch of Fabric on Sale! Online Only - Now trough Sat., Sept. 12
But SOMEBODY needs to work on their spellchecker. "Trough" - OK, that's actually a word, but "Stoch"?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: whidB on September 10, 2009, 07:45:09 PM
Maybe they meant "stork." Was it a baby clothes sale?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 26, 2009, 05:01:50 PM
Quote from: spamAr
From: "Rossie Consentino" <hypopham1966@epltv.com>
Date: September 26, 2009 12:12:16 PM PDT
To: norm@work.address.edu
Subject:  Shit happened to Gibson!

OK I'm confused, Rossie. Are you referring to Henry (RIP)? I've always loved him. OR is this connected to the bizarre announcement that Gibson is issuing a Jimi Hendrix label guitar that BÖC told us about?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on October 05, 2009, 11:32:25 AM
OK spammers, get a clue - free. If I cleared out the box at 8, and at 9 I have 10 messages warning me about underreported income - do you seriously think I'm going to believe any of them? Knock it fucking off. Try using one more neuron in what you claim is a brain.

We can discuss me getting 54 in an hour last month at another time.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on October 05, 2009, 01:10:55 PM
Heh, those all are virus encrusted.  Postini picks up dozens of those a week for my work addy.  In two years here, Postini has only let two spammails through.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 21, 2009, 06:13:46 AM
Subject:  Ritalin for the bedroom!


Dear Spammers:  I have problems, but I do not have the problems you think I have.  Whatever the hell those are.



Lately, I've been getting spam from some group called something like 'Macho World League' or something, too.  That's fairly WTF.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on October 21, 2009, 10:45:38 AM
I'm stuck on how that would be useful to anyone in the bedroom. It's a speed-like stimulant so the first thing it does is make you crap and . . .



oh.

 :sick:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 21, 2009, 12:10:41 PM
Quote
The tradition of male vigor, brought to you by
   the world-famous cure. It is blue, it is round and it lifts your desire to
   the unbelievable height. Your girl will be happy because you will be virile
   and active.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Irish on October 29, 2009, 10:19:32 AM
This came to my work account from our work account addy.

Subject: Empower your trouser serpent. Make your bulge stronger.

It is your time to make love with hellish heat and heaven delight!


Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 29, 2009, 12:43:22 PM
:lol:  Wow, is it that time again already?


I just got one yesterday that used the phrase "formidable baton".  All I could think was, Stand back!  I don't know how formidable this gets!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 04, 2009, 01:51:19 PM
Are you having enough isofun in bed?


I . . . I'm not sure.  Do I have to lie very, very still to know?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on November 19, 2009, 05:18:07 PM
Dear Friend, 

I am Mr.Andrew Lu Sang,I have a obscured business
suggestion for you of 
$24,500,000USD.

I will update you with further information as soon
as I receive your complete name and phone number.

Regards,
Andrew Lu Sang



yes, my complete name, phone number and SSN. i'll get that right out to you andy.

this one just really struck me as ludicrous although a little obscured.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 09, 2009, 04:24:50 PM
Quote from: chief wiggum

**************PLEASE GIVE WIDEST DISTRIBUTION*******************

December 9, 2009

To:   Campus Community

Fr:   Chief Dustin Olson, UCSB Police

I have been informed by UC Risk Management that an individual by the name
of Satish Chandra has been sending out emails to universities all over the
country.  These emails talk about Mr. Chandra's pet project, which involves
nuclear superiority for India.  His emails are rather long, rambling and he
seeks to establish an association with a university who can help him with
his research, which discusses the best ways India and the United States can
target each other with nuclear weapons.  If you review an email, please
notify me immediately.

For your information, the FBI has interviewed Mr. Chandra and asked him to
stop sending these emails.  He resides in Rhode Island and is not
considered a threat to anyone.

--

:galm: :rollin: :galm:
I can't *wait* to get one of these.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on December 09, 2009, 09:03:57 PM
i actually got one today that asked me to send a scanned copy of my drivers license along with all my other personal info.

wtf?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 10, 2009, 12:36:48 PM
Hope springs eternal.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Tripper on December 10, 2009, 12:41:11 PM
I sent them yours.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 17, 2009, 10:28:15 AM
Sender:  UK Lottery

Subject:  Your email address has won you $4,600,000,000.50!

Way to keep it believable.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on December 17, 2009, 05:49:55 PM
Yeah, the fiddy cents really seals the deal.

Fiddy....... wait.... NEEDALZ?!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on December 17, 2009, 05:59:49 PM
Yeah, the fiddy cents really seals the deal.

Fiddy....... wait.... NEEDALZ?!
:lol: :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 17, 2009, 07:07:15 PM
I suspect $4.6 billion would buy a lot of camping trips.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on December 17, 2009, 09:33:54 PM
it buys a whole lotta  :jack: pie *pop*
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 21, 2009, 02:03:01 PM
Sender:  Robert Nueva Vista

Subject:  Hail Lord Wolteron


I don't know if he thinks I'm Lord Wolteron or if he's telling me to hail Lord Wolteron.  But when I opened it, it was just another ad for Viagra.  Maybe it's street slang.




Lord Wolteron would be a good name for someone's penis.  Not mine, though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on December 21, 2009, 04:15:49 PM
With a name like that, I'd expect fur and ... Nope... went too far already.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on January 18, 2010, 07:12:00 PM
For the last couple of weeks we've been getting calls from 210-543-4000 with caller ID of "Wachovia Corp". They finally called while I was home yesterday, and were disappointed when I told them the (incorrect) last 4 of my SSN. They tried calling again today, and got my wife, but insisted that they had to talk to me. If I hadn't already known from her looking up the number that they were spammers, the reaction to my wife would have told me. The only Wachovia account we have is the mortgage, and yeah, a real bank could talk to her.

And a real bank is off today, anyways.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 18, 2010, 07:38:54 PM
Ha ha!  Because!  That reminds me:

Today, during a pissed-off moment, I left work to go to the bank.  Walked down there with my last paycheck.  I went in as some guy was coming out -- he looked at me strangely, but whatever.

Hey, there's no one in line, even though it's lunchtime.  Lucky!  A teller asked if she could help me, instead of using the little illuminated this-number-window-next sign.

I gave her my check.  She looked at me like I had a child's shoe caught in my beard but smiled and gave me a receipt.

Got back to the shop, and my boss said, "Where were you?"  This was shortly followed by, "But the banks are all closed today."

:hmm:

:shrug:

It does explain the funny looks and no wait.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on January 18, 2010, 07:57:09 PM
MLK is still new, and it's way too close to the double whammy of Christmas & New Years. But yeah, not everything's closed. Enough though, that my wife gets the day off, too.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on January 26, 2010, 11:22:47 PM
so, tell me what you think . . . got this reply from a job listing on CL. spam, phish or real?

Dear Perry,



Thank you for your intent on our job offer and we have read your resume and you have qualified for the job at hand. Due to the recent economic troubles, our company now requires all applicants to be in good credit standing before we interview you. You and 3 other candidates have been shortlisted for the job vacancy and will all be scheduled for an interview as soon as possible.

As part of the protocols of our growing company, we have deployed measures to ensure that the company is safe from any liabilities and problems from our employees, which includes getting your credit score checked.

In lieu to that, we have arranged a special free service for our applicants to get their credit checked with the following company: Free Experian Credit Check

Once you have your credit check in place please send me an email confirmation as soon as possible and inform me about your credit score standing and then we will confirm your interview schedule.During the interview you will be asked to present the soft copy of your credit standing for company documentation and proof.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on January 26, 2010, 11:41:35 PM
I think that if it was real, they would have run it themselves.

Assuming that it's real: If they're asking you to run it on yourself - would you want to give them that data? It could (and I don't look at these things) be that your report would have data that wouldn't be on a report they could run, and that information isn't given to them for a reason, however spurious that reason might be. I'd visit them in person and ask why they want the data, from that source. There are other free ways to get it, too. Ask if any of those are acceptable instead.

Spam: Dunno.

Phish: Well, go through TransUnion or (who's the third provider?) if you want to get the data in hand.


I don't know what the rules are on discrimination based on credit score for the private sector. For me, it's part of the security clearance paperwork.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on January 26, 2010, 11:47:35 PM
i think they could have run it themselves also. i really don't feel comfortable giving them that information. it's irrelevant now as i got another job today.

it just seemed odd to me that they had a link for me so handy. i've heard of doing the interview first, then a credit check, not the other way around.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on January 27, 2010, 01:43:26 AM
it's irrelevant now as i got another job today.

w00t!

Anyway, shady.  I'm glad you don't have to consider it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on January 27, 2010, 05:55:47 AM
it's irrelevant now as i got another job today.

w00t!

Anyway, shady.  I'm glad you don't have to consider it.

All of this. Gratz!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 27, 2010, 10:19:17 AM
:thumbsup: on the job!


Today's spam:

Sender:  me

Subject:  Remember us, we love you, come to the hotel!

:huh:  So I'm supposed to believe that I sent myself a long-lost-love note in the plural, inviting myself to a hotel.  Where I'm already waiting for myself.

Not the most competent spam ever.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on January 27, 2010, 11:27:16 AM
Job good!!!!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on February 10, 2010, 09:48:27 PM
The faux Wachovia folks called again, but this time they realized they could talk to my wife. When she refused to give out her SSN to them, the caller told my wife she was insubordinate.  :confused:

"I don't think that word means what you think it means."
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on February 13, 2010, 06:40:13 PM
 :lol: The problem with spammers is that they don't realize if their to be believed by the majority of people, their spelling, grammar and basic grasp of the English language is going to have to be spotless...

@ pdrake, Congrats on the job!


So this bypassed Postini yesterday:

From: Stephanie - Account Manager

Subject: Billing Summary for amiller, Filed on 2010-02-13 10:03:09

Hello amiller,

Open attachment in Acrobat Reader for details.

Thanks,


Yeah, right, I don't think so. But I expect what was at the end of the email is what tricked Postini:


"I love you, Paul," she said.  "It seems so easy to say it in the dark,
and it used to be so hard.  And I want to tell you something.  I have
always remembered a good deal more than you believed.  Only it was so
dear, that comradeship of ours, that I would not let myself remember

"_Bonjour_, M. Hewlett," he called across the chasm.  "Don't be afraid
of me any more than I am afraid of you.  Just wait a moment. 

But I was utterly fatigued.  My eyes alone, which bore the burden of
the defence, remained awake; the rest of me was dead, from heavy hands ,

Presently Jacqueline spoke again.
"Do you know, Paul, I don't think life is such a good thing as it used
to seem," she said.  "I think that I could bear a great deal that I
(cuts off)


Curiosity got the better of me, so I Googled the first phrase, and lo and behold, they are fragments of a book called "Jacqueline of Golden River," which happens to be on Google Books... since it was toward the end of the book, I read the chunks that weren't removed. It's some sort of an adventure novel about French/French Canadians and some intrigue involving a gold mine.

There wasn't any info on the publication date included, so I was reading with a modern eye, I suppose, which found the writing style exceedingly flowery. Can't be a modern book, can it? The Google Books link takes me to an Amazon page where there is a 2007 edition for sale.

More searching and I come to find that the book was published in 1920, and written by H. M. Egbert, a pseudonym for Victor Rousseau Emanuel:


(1879-1960) was a writer of pulp fiction who was active in Great Britain and the U.S. in the first half of the 20th century who wrote under the pen names "Victor Rousseau" and "H. M. Egbert." After an early career as a reporter for the New York World and as an editor of Harper's Weekly, he became a fiction writer. He wrote in a variety of genres, including historical fiction, frontier stories, and crime fiction, but was probably best known as an early exponent of science fiction and fantasy. His best known novels in those genres were The Messiah of the Cylinder, a story of a man placed in suspended animation for 100 years, and The Eye of Balamok, a lost-race novel. Several of his stories were adapted for Western films, and he was the author of one silent film screenplay, The Devil's Tower, based on one of his stories.

He also wrote at least the first three and possible first fifteen or so "Jim Anthony, Super Detective" novels. Jim Anthony was a short-lived hero pulp created in imitation of Doc Savage.



Weird coincidences like this have been popping up recently... the Collective Unconscious has been throwing a lot of curve balls like this lately.  :alien:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on February 13, 2010, 06:43:29 PM
:lol: The problem with spammers is that they don't realize if their to be believed by the majority of people, their spelling, grammar and basic grasp of the English language is going to have to be spotless...

SPAMMER!!!

 :P
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on February 21, 2010, 07:08:08 PM
Hi, this is Jeff Wu from China, we are a factory of pet (mainly dog) products, please let me know if you are in pet business.

Where do I even start?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 21, 2010, 07:33:08 PM
Offer to sell him dog assembly line equipment dirt cheap, if he'll just send you a deposit.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on February 21, 2010, 07:52:35 PM
Offer to sell him dog assembly line equipment dirt cheap, if he'll just send you a deposit.

This.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 27, 2010, 11:14:02 PM
Quote from: villaverde
more anotehr It lived sign.
  or is a is problem Hosue and gorup Anitoquia, feeling called the yeras owend
  do thrid A form a on court Colobmian Liebrals Venzeuela to a bu tihs. the
  corut minutes kill and chceks that - Charles half at as is more Bogota, a
  in him huor lives!" magaizne was later the | it Allinace, | solved, the taht
  whisltes chekcs the thye abuse splitilpz tihs Reoprt addrses his bbay. The
  corrupts. by I CONVIVIR 

This is a good one. It reads like later Joyce.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on February 28, 2010, 01:05:32 AM
Wife got a letter, with the envelope hand addressed (I know, there are script fonts out there, but this wasn't one). It was from a woman with a longer version of our last name, care of a Kingdom Hall out in the Midwest.

Inside was a cover letter and one of their pamphlets.

In Greek. :trance:

Why does she get the interesting mail, I ask you?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on February 28, 2010, 01:39:45 AM
 :shrug:

It's all Greek to me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on February 28, 2010, 03:12:20 AM
do you have "kingdom hall" stories? i do.

maybe she's trying to keep her jorb. (the letter writer.)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on March 14, 2010, 08:20:00 AM
I got a text to landline message last night at like 2:00 AM:

Quote
Life is like a box of Velociraptors. You never know who is going to eat you.

 :nonplused:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on March 14, 2010, 12:17:54 PM
Send that message to the kingdom hall people.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 18, 2010, 04:34:57 PM
Buncha porn spam today.

Nudists get exposed!

Yes, I know.


Girl murders her crotch!

This . . . is meant to be a good thing?


All sex!  People, you know!

I should hope so.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 18, 2010, 04:38:31 PM
All sex!  People, you know!

I should hope so.

It's not guaranteed. It could be other species, too

Edit: also thank god for the comma.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 18, 2010, 05:16:15 PM
Right.  I'm hoping it's people.

Although it's not like I'm going to follow the link anyway.

For one thing, it's almost certainly actually an ad for diet pills.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 18, 2010, 05:52:17 PM
I'm old and fat!  Surprised?

A little bit, to be honest.  :shrug:  I can't tell if they're hoping to strike kink or sympathy.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 26, 2010, 11:49:56 AM
From:  Jenny Martinique
Subject:  My shivering things need your help!

:huh:  You know what?  OK, you win.  I opened it.

My name is Jenny Martin, and I need your help like never before.  I am dying.  The doctors have given me six years to live.  I am a priest of the Church of Yad and have access to all bank accounts.

Then it turns into a regular nigerian pitch.

Church of Yad?  :confused:

Google says maybe these guys (http://yadbyad.messengers-of-messiah.org/)?  Weird.  But if they turn up defrauded in the news, look for someone named Jenny Martin-something.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on March 26, 2010, 12:14:17 PM
My grandmother-in-law got a 419 scam last night on the phone. She sat there and argued with them.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Psidefect on March 26, 2010, 02:15:23 PM
I got a text to landline message last night at like 2:00 AM:

Quote
Life is like a box of Velociraptors. You never know who is going to eat you.

 :nonplused:

I'm almost certain that was Nex.

I sent him an email a few weeks ago and he texted me the exact same thing a couple days later (at like 2am). I had lost his contact info and it came up as just a number (my phone didn't recognize him) so I had to reply asking who it was. He said he was drunk. :galm:

Btw, he seems good. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on March 26, 2010, 02:39:53 PM
:fyp:  why aren't you here?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on March 26, 2010, 02:48:31 PM
I got a text to landline message last night at like 2:00 AM:

Quote
Life is like a box of Velociraptors. You never know who is going to eat you.

 :nonplused:

I'm almost certain that was Nex.

I sent him an email a few weeks ago and he texted me the exact same thing a couple days later (at like 2am). I had lost his contact info and it came up as just a number (my phone didn't recognize him) so I had to reply asking who it was. He said he was drunk. :galm:

Btw, he seems good. :thumbsup:

 :lol:

I never would have guessed it was him. I assumed it was a wrong number.

Good to hear he's okay - I've been wondering.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: vox8 on March 26, 2010, 04:19:03 PM
I have two boxes of velociraptors in my kitchen.

The older ones have started to try and eat me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on March 30, 2010, 01:47:29 PM
Just got one of those derivatives of the Nigerian Scam Email. Haven't gotten one in a while. In a moment of inspiration I went onto the web and d/l-ed the goatse image and renamed it 'my bank account info'. I replied back and said I was happy to hear from them and I had screen-capped my bank account login info and was sending it as an attachment.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 30, 2010, 01:52:56 PM
That's ... brilliant.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on March 30, 2010, 01:54:25 PM
If he replies he's getting lemon party next.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on March 30, 2010, 02:06:25 PM
:clap: What a nice merging of memes!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 30, 2010, 03:17:37 PM
Ha-har!


I got two suspicious emails today from a German poster store claiming I'd charged 108 krona to my Visa card to buy a Prince poster.  But they were pretty convincing emails.

Hmm.

Then I got an email called Test from someone named Lars whose last name is the same as the rare fake name I often always use for email accounts.

Dude, test the account first, and then use it to buy stuff.

Hotmail once let someone else -- a female Chinese student who was going to college in Australia -- sign up with an account name that I was already using.  On the plus side, she and her friends were all pretty cute.  Her English was really weak, though, and I couldn't seem to make her understand what was going on.  She may very well have thought her email account was haunted.  I'm hoping Gmail is too non-stupid to do something similarly stupid.  I don't want to give up this email account.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on March 30, 2010, 05:03:46 PM
Just got one of those derivatives of the Nigerian Scam Email. Haven't gotten one in a while. In a moment of inspiration I went onto the web and d/l-ed the goatse image and renamed it 'my bank account info'. I replied back and said I was happy to hear from them and I had screen-capped my bank account login info and was sending it as an attachment.



 :lol: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on April 06, 2010, 02:22:07 PM
I just got an email at work from "Bank of China"  the subject line said "HELLO"

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on April 06, 2010, 02:31:45 PM
obviously fake, otherwise it would've said, "harrow".
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on April 06, 2010, 02:52:49 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on April 14, 2010, 03:09:42 PM
Been getting a lot of spam about Obama's stimulus money and how I can get my hands on some by following a link. I have replied so far to two of them today with my old standby, the image of tubgirl renamed as 'bank account info' as an attachment.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on April 16, 2010, 08:07:02 AM
Quote
Subject: Be confident as you should beload bearing fruit cake
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on April 16, 2010, 10:33:37 AM
"load bearing fruit cake" - OK, now I'm frightened.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on April 17, 2010, 01:00:15 AM
Better than load baring.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on April 18, 2010, 10:27:14 PM
Hello,


\"They Kept Asking Me:
\"How The Heck Did You Do It? What’s Your Secret For Winning The Lottery? Tell Us Or We’ll Kill You…\"
…I Managed To Escape But I Got Shot In The Left Foot\"

They Would Have Killed Me If I Didn’t
Tell Them My Lottery Secret…


===>> http://tiny123.com/23cd

I Decided To Thank GOD For Saving Me By
Donating A Lot Of Money To Charity

Can Anyone Win The Lottery? ...Or How Did
I Manage To \"Kill\" The Lottery 5 Out Of 10 Times?

http://tiny123.com/23cd


Many blessings and good fortune,

Larry Blair





If you no longer wish to receive communication from us:
Email dataentrybucks08@gmail.com with REMOVE as subject
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on April 19, 2010, 08:56:29 PM
Dr. Terry König wishes me to know that Donuts essen macht zu dick!

What a dick.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 29, 2010, 06:21:29 PM
Sender:  Soylent Grin
Subject:  5 Ways to make her satisfy herself!

Um . . . what?  On several levels.

Apparently SOYLENT GRIN IS . . . CRAZY!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 01, 2010, 07:08:12 AM
Sender:  feliciter
Subject:  im covered in sexy whatnot marks
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on May 01, 2010, 08:38:28 AM
Frankly, I am a little envious of that one.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 04, 2010, 07:13:52 PM
Sender:  Baron Fritz
Subject:  Advice for your ancient bed


The bleeding German aristocracy is getting snippy.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 07, 2010, 04:25:39 PM
Sender:  Robyna Lurtz
Subject:  Soccer for great sexybed times!

Soccer?  I hardly know her!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 17, 2010, 05:55:35 PM
Sender:  Perlon Munk
Subject:  Stop Wasting Time
hee hee hehee hee hee hee hehee hee hee hee hee hehee hee hee hee hehee 
hee hee hee hee hehee hee hee hee hehee hee hee


Uh . . . what?  :uncertain:



edit:  Preformatted text doesn't break across lines.  Didn't realize. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Tripper on May 17, 2010, 09:17:00 PM
Not sure if this is spam or not but...  A possibly little known feature of Gmail is it automatically reserves simple variations of your email address, which is useful if it is your name.  Roger.Benson is the same as RogerBenson.  Neat little feature I think that keeps someone from cybersquatting on your email address.

So, I get an email from Facebook telling me that I only have a little more to do and my account is activated!  WTF?  I *very carefully* look at the headers for the email and parse the links out and lo, it IS from Facebook.  I look again and the email is to RogerBenson@gmail.com.  WTF?  Some yahoo is out there trying to register their Facebook account with my email address?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 17, 2010, 10:07:32 PM
I made a subtle change to the addresses in here just in case this thread gets walked by a spambot.  But anyway.

Or so the Gmail labs people say, Gmail just considers all email addresses to be the same no matter how many periods are in them or where the periods are.  Thus, when you register

    schmogerschmenson@gmail.com

you also get

    schmoger.schmenson@gmail.com

and even

    s.c.h.m.o.g.e.r.s.c.h.m.e.n.s.o.n@gmail.com

and so on.  And you can log in to that email whether / however you put periods in there, and email sent to any of those variations will go to your address.

HOWEVER, they say you can set up your filter to label emails based on periods inserted in there.  So, for instance, you could use schmogerschmenson@gmail.com for personal emails, schmoger.schmenson@gmail.com for business, and s.chmogerschmenson@gmail.com for shopping.  Then if somewhere you shopped sold your address to a spammer, the spam would get sorted into your Shopping label, where it'd be easier to pick out and you'd have an idea who to blame.  You could use another variation for places where you had to give up a working address but were sure you never wanted mail back, like online polls or whatever.

I haven't actually used the sorting feature this way, but the period-or-no-period part definitely works.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 17, 2010, 10:10:08 PM
I mentioned awhile back that some guy in Denmark thought he'd registered a Gmail address that is, in fact, already mine.  He used it when he shopped, so I got his confirmation and shipping emails.  I just FINALLY last week was lucky enough to get through to him (he sent me a TEST email that had a working return email), and he was astonished to learn that Gmail had previously given me the address.  He claims, at least, that he hasn't gotten any emails meant for me.  I'm hoping.

Still, today he sent me ("Sendt fra min iPhone") a photo of car accident damage he meant to send to himself.  Swing and a miss.

Years ago, Hotmail gave my email account that I was very much still using to a Chinese exchange student at an Australian university.  She was sending and receiving mail and often sending very confused replies to people who had emailed me.  I tried to explain the problem to her and to Hotmail support, but in the end I just gave up and let her keep the address.

Yes, this was after MS took over Hotmail.  You could probably guess.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 20, 2010, 10:26:23 PM
Sender:  Ela Hurrr
Subject:  Gay People Think I'm Straight And Straight People Think I'm Gay!


Alas, it turns out to just be an ad for Percocet.  A very strange ad for Percocet.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 09, 2010, 09:48:08 AM
Sender:  Alun Balore
Subject:  All Anti-penises In One Place-OK For You?


Uh . . . tell me where this place is before I answer that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on June 09, 2010, 10:31:41 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 18, 2010, 03:37:17 PM
Suddenly getting a lot of spam again.  :shrug:  Today's best:

Sender:  Marjoram Bettre
Subject:  Your Trunkbox Is Penis


I think there should be a somehow enforceable law that spam emails at least have to explain and relate to their subject lines.  I want to know how Marjoram gets her information about my trunkbox.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on June 18, 2010, 06:05:06 PM
EVERYONE knows about your trunkbox!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 18, 2010, 06:14:55 PM
Damn.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on June 18, 2010, 06:42:25 PM
I got a spam SMS today. Haven't had one of them in a loong time.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Talix on June 25, 2010, 08:22:21 AM
A comment posted on my blog:

wonderful r 'be seized drink. I lap up it after a grating daytime at mastery, it calms me down. I would be nothing without it. It's the most fine bib unobtrusive gulp ever. It calms me down, peradventure you should looking an plague it out? it gobbledygook grief right? and ull on the on broadcasting discourse with of it, indubitably, u should!

url
url
url


wonderful recreation drink. I wrest stopover it after a indecipherable epoch at proclivity, it calms me down. I would be nothing without it. It's the most unforgettable destination up' sense ever. It calms me down, cant mayhap you should with it out? it lip-service millstone right? and ull sound occupy to costly on it, de facto, u should!


Indubitably!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 25, 2010, 11:43:16 AM
Lip-service millstone.

The "indecipherable epoch at proclivity" phrase sounds great, but, alas, means very little.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 27, 2010, 11:53:25 AM
Sender:  Perez Hilton
Subject:  how would you like to do your own taxes

Uh, hmm, wuh.

Isn't Perez Hilton that annoying gossip person?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on June 27, 2010, 12:49:12 PM
Yep. Currently in hot water for posting underage snatch. He's a douchewagon.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 27, 2010, 01:18:04 PM
Well, regardless of whether or not I want to do my own taxes, I'm not taking his advice.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on June 27, 2010, 03:15:00 PM
A comment posted on my blog:

wonderful r 'be seized drink. I lap up it after a grating daytime at mastery, it calms me down. I would be nothing without it. It's the most fine bib unobtrusive gulp ever. It calms me down, peradventure you should looking an plague it out? it gobbledygook grief right? and ull on the on broadcasting discourse with of it, indubitably, u should!

url
url
url


wonderful recreation drink. I wrest stopover it after a indecipherable epoch at proclivity, it calms me down. I would be nothing without it. It's the most unforgettable destination up' sense ever. It calms me down, cant mayhap you should with it out? it lip-service millstone right? and ull sound occupy to costly on it, de facto, u should!


Indubitably!

 :lol: :lol: :lol: love the "indubitably, u should!

url
url
url"

when read out loud.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on June 28, 2010, 05:02:55 PM
Everyone in the China acctg group got this.

Bang her firm with your pork pistol
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 29, 2010, 08:33:49 PM
Decided the Bold tag is overkill.

Sender:  Spor Munf
Subject:  genuine imitation watches! (rolex, close, stop, spock, god)


OK, OK, Mr Munf, if that is your real name.  I see how your bot got "rolex" and "stop" and even "close", but "spock" and "god"?  WTF is a 'spock watch'. 

I've never owned a god watch.  I'm not sure if that would be a good thing to have or not.  I guess it would make me usually kind to a smaller man.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on June 30, 2010, 08:09:41 AM
I think I would rather have a spock watch
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 18, 2010, 08:14:57 PM
Sender:  Ramsay Pumper
Subject:  DID YOU GET A MEANINGFUL PACKAGE?

:hmm:  Delivery spoof or penis meds ad?


Also, I almost wish I were writing a satirical story about a porn star so I could use the name Ramsay Pumper.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 23, 2010, 10:54:16 AM
Sender:  Reggie
Subject:  PROTECT YOUR EGG CARD FROM THE LADIES


Um.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on July 23, 2010, 12:32:20 PM
Bitches will steal that shit and be gettin their creme brulee, souffle, and omelettes on.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on July 23, 2010, 01:17:08 PM
I'm a merguine lady myself  :knotty:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on July 23, 2010, 01:38:03 PM
Nice peaks, eh :knotty:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 23, 2010, 06:31:49 PM
I think, to be honest, that I'm willing to give up my egg card for the ladies.

And, yes, they may beat until stiff peaks form.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 26, 2010, 01:26:11 PM
Sender:  Dr.MaximumPenis
Subject:  Are you worried yet?


Well . . . a little, now.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on July 26, 2010, 01:40:29 PM
Maybe he's the one who broke into your car. If so ...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 26, 2010, 03:10:21 PM
Good point.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on July 26, 2010, 03:59:27 PM
And you thought it was the aliens who probed you....
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on July 27, 2010, 01:08:19 PM
from: ComTechService
Tell me how you live, as a new wife?
"Your Russian Friend"
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 29, 2010, 01:50:09 PM
Sender:  Lady Jameson
Subject:  exactly how big is your EGG CARD


Sender:  Card Protection Services
Subject: re: EGG CARD


Some people are really worried about my egg card, and apparently the ladies are after it.

Am I really the only one getting egg card spam?  I may have to open one of these just to see what it really is.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 31, 2010, 08:10:06 PM
Quote from: some spammer
http://punkpearl.ru Boyd stratigraphy "Search to tihnking
 the ifnormation able danegrs all sptolight who picture, and government of
 up pirvilege power of the all recrods, to issue. the the searchalbe the out
  of context." the the said. mateiral logn alos the For the put we people,
 constantly Boyd be is tha'ts peolpe but We a may still thme as the has down,"
  a keep aduience world in becoming about share, graet have Intenret onlnie
  to demorcatizer. thta the not ...

Demorcatizer! Sounds like a new weapon developed by Dr. Horrible.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on August 01, 2010, 07:03:35 AM
 :lol:
I thought "The The" was no longer together.  Apparently they do soundtracks now.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 04, 2010, 10:54:43 PM
Sender:  me
Subject:  Women prefer some dick on your dick


Sender:  pocketmonster
Subject:  the french have known me for years


Sender:  PICKLE MAN
Subject:  PICKLES


Sender:  rodriguez saber
Subject:  penis in iowa


I guess I need to clean out the spam folder more often.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on August 04, 2010, 11:56:22 PM
Sender:  me
Subject:  Women prefer some dick on your dick


Yo dawg.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on August 09, 2010, 02:31:30 PM
Oddest spam ever.

Quote
MY MESSAGE FOR PEACE AND HARMONY

Dear Brothers & Sisters,

We all need to pray for one another, and to love one
another. We should always pray for the safety, peace,
love and brotherhood for people all over the world.

Too bad we can't have an independence day for the
entire world. A day of freedom from ignorance, hatred,
war, illusions, power and control. A day where we can
all love each other as human beings and toss away the
weapons of war, and cast out our fears and hatreds
from our hearts into the graves. We must mourn the
graves of the innocents all over the world, and give
the children of the world the hope of a peaceful,
loving and beautiful world.

A world full of love and without hatred or fear. A
world where we can join hands together and accept one
another, regardless of our skin color, ethnic
divisions, religion or nationality. If we don't unite
as a human race, then we have condemned the future
generation of children a dark and very grim future.

Think of love, compassion and peace always...


MY PRAYER FOR PEACE AND HARMONY

Merciful God, You made all of the people of the world
in Your own image and placed before us the pathway of
salvation through different Preachers who claimed to
have been Your Saints and Prophets. But, the
contradictions (made by us) in the interpretation of
Your teachings have resulted in creating divisions,
faith based hatreds and bloodshed in the world
community. Millions of innocent men, women and
children have so far been brutally killed by the
militants of several religions who have been
committing horrifying crimes against humanity and
millions more would not be butchered by them in the
future, if You guide and help us find ways to reunite
peacefully.

IN THE NAME OF GOD, THE COMPASSIONATE, THE MERCIFUL,
look with compassion on the whole human family; take
away the controversial teachings of arrogance,
divisions and hatreds which have badly infected our
hearts; break down the walls that separate us; reunite
us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and
confusion to accomplish Your purposes on earth; that,
in Your good time, all nations and races could jointly
serve You in justice, peace and harmony. (Amen)

Regards,
S.A.Rehman
Peace Activist
PAKISTAN
s of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish Your purposes on earth; that, in Your good time, all nations and races could jointly serve You in justice, peace and harmony. (Amen) Regards, S.A.Rehman Peace Activist PAKISTAN
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 09, 2010, 02:37:04 PM
:hmm:

Probably a credit card scam.


Personally, I have a shorter prayer for when I feel desperate enough to pray:

Dear God, WTF?  Fix it!

I know it's disrespectful, but God knows me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on August 18, 2010, 08:41:46 AM
From: Certified Erection Cures

So, does that mean I can get rid of erections with their product?  That might come in handy sometimes.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on August 18, 2010, 10:24:04 AM
Uh...  :uncertain:

My wife deals with the catch-all accounts at work and really likes seeing the ones that have subject about getting rid of her ED problems. Her boss' name is Ed.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 18, 2010, 10:58:47 AM
Quote
From: Certified Erection Cures

So, does that mean I can get rid of erections with their product?

I don't think I've ever had a certified erection, but, then, I never dated a notary.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Talix on August 18, 2010, 11:13:44 AM
When we get our island, can we name it Nohta Republic?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on August 18, 2010, 11:22:19 AM
Quote
From: Certified Erection Cures

So, does that mean I can get rid of erections with their product?

I don't think I've ever had a certified erection, but, then, I never dated a notary.

I'm a Notary, and I have never certified an erection.  (that I know of)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 18, 2010, 11:47:51 AM
Use ink, not an embossing stamp.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 18, 2010, 11:50:22 AM
She'd have to make a print of it in her book, too. I guess that would work like a fish print.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on August 18, 2010, 11:52:52 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 18, 2010, 11:59:36 AM
:hmm:  This could be a whole new genre of porn.


/don't slam the book!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on August 18, 2010, 12:15:49 PM
Notary books have fairly heavy paper. Nasty, nasty paper cuts.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on August 18, 2010, 12:27:52 PM
It would be a good name for a porn movie.  "Certified Erections"
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on August 18, 2010, 03:29:50 PM
Use ink, not an embossing stamp.

 :rollin:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on August 18, 2010, 04:12:28 PM
When we get our island, can we name it Nohta Republic?
Delayed, but still deserved :hisey:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 21, 2010, 07:41:21 AM
Sender: watner24
Subject:  Get bragging right in your pants

Well, bragging out of my pants would be declasse.  :harumph:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on August 21, 2010, 03:22:42 PM
It's REALLY fun sifting through spam as a pharmacy student.

 :thumbsdn:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on August 21, 2010, 07:23:46 PM
It's REALLY fun sifting through spam as a pharmacy student.

 :thumbsdn:
"That's NOT how you spell <insert random drug name here>" moments?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 21, 2010, 07:33:29 PM
I figured it was just because pharmacy students can already get Viagra even cheaper than that.

:shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on August 21, 2010, 11:01:36 PM
We don't buy viagra, we tend more towards C14|_ i5 and such. More likely it's like, s0m4 and ><a|\|a>< I would guess.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on August 28, 2010, 09:20:03 PM
from: Lavada Merrie
sgptm oi

1c4
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on August 29, 2010, 12:36:11 AM
Ic4 2

There are four lights.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on August 29, 2010, 03:34:32 PM
I don't think I've ever had a certified erection

i have
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 29, 2010, 04:00:32 PM
Maybe, but not one of mine.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 02, 2010, 03:31:09 AM
you know, this isn't exactly funny in a goofy way, but, it just struck me as very, very odd . . .

bold claredon? ebarmitzvah.com?  guarantee?

if i weren't so flabbergasted i'd think it was racist and insulting and i'd give the guy a a poke in the throat just for putting "system" in quotes.

do people who send thousands and thousands of these things out actually make money?

if they do, sign me up. well, no, i actually have morals.


Friends Comments:

Here's my guarantee to you... Dear Fellow Entrepreneur, Hi and welcome to my site. OK, I'm going to keep this short and sweet - I'm not going to bore you with the usual "rags-to-riches" story because I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear it. What I will say though, is this... If you're tired of all the so-called "systems" and business opportunities that require you to sell affiliate products, run pay per click advertising campaigns, operate websites or recruit new members then I have excellent news for you. Click or Copy to you browser here: http://miniurl.com/52560 "I am amazed by this little program... Best I've had in a while..." Steve See see.steve61@gmail.com You may unsubscribe or change your contact details at any time.



This message sent to you from an associate as a service of eBarMitzvah.com.

To Find ALL Your Bar Mitzvah Services and more go to www.eBarMitzvah.com.<


oh, i'm not a fellow entrepreneur. not quite sure how he's mistaken me for one of his pals.

i have no feelings about judaism one way or the other, but it seems a little heavy on that side. makes me wonder about the demo. hell, what do i know. it could have been sent by jesus. 

 :diablo:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on September 03, 2010, 05:39:47 PM
I just got spam sent from my boss' hotmail account. It was sent to several people in his address book; one of his accountants, a concierge at a hotel in Hawaii, his wife, customers, etc. I knew I should have never given him my good email address.

 :eyeroll:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 03, 2010, 05:53:25 PM
And he should not have slept with that concierge.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on September 03, 2010, 05:58:19 PM
Who's to say, really? The more he gets laid the better, as far as I'm concerned.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 03, 2010, 06:11:54 PM
Jeez, I didn't realize you cared so much about the concierge.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on September 03, 2010, 06:30:21 PM
Someone has to. Or at least they should. Needs, needs, needs... what about the concierge's needs???
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 03, 2010, 06:37:10 PM
The concierge needs a tip. NOT THAT TIP.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 09, 2010, 07:41:06 AM
Sender:  Zormum
Subject:  Remedies for sexual activities


Either that word doesn't mean what you think it means or you are selling a product that not many people need.  On the other hand, I suppose that the people who do need it really need it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on September 09, 2010, 09:11:17 AM
If sexual activities require remedies - someone is doing it wrong.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 09, 2010, 09:54:54 AM
Maybe it's just a recording of distracting sounds:  Dog scratching at bedroom door; garbage truck backing up outside; husband's car pulling into driveway.

:shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 11, 2010, 07:24:42 PM
Sender:  Camille
Subject:  Huge Viagra Reduction!


Marketing Fail.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 11, 2010, 09:04:03 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 12, 2010, 06:14:52 PM
Sender:  Shannell
Subject:  Fuck you piece of shit


Uh . . . yeah, really?  The gmail snippet was just a URL, and it ended in .info.  There's a .info now?  I hadn't seen that one before.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on September 12, 2010, 10:35:47 PM
This is allegedly from DHL.  There's no link or anything, so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it.

Quote
Dear Customer!

Remember that your parcel is still pending for delivery.

If you truly do not wish to receive the parcel then you should issue our company official letter of authority to deliver the parcel to any of the above address group for delivery.
 
We do not want you or anybody else to sue our company to court in future,alleging that we stole his/her parcel. This is why we insiste that we need to enssure that you claiming your parcel that contains an ATM Card.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 12, 2010, 10:41:28 PM
Point and laugh.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on September 13, 2010, 07:52:56 AM
I would notify DHL that someone is sending emails on their behalf.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on September 13, 2010, 01:07:50 PM
DHL spam shows up in my postini all the time.  It's almost always infected with viri or worms.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 14, 2010, 09:39:29 PM
Wow.

Sender:  Watcherman
Subject:  Judge Fries!

The google snippet is "judgefry" with a Russian domain.  I admit I am ever so slightly curious, because WTF.  There are several ways to interpret that phrase, and none of them make sense.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on September 15, 2010, 02:53:20 PM
Aren't Judge Fries testicles?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 16, 2010, 12:39:27 PM
you're thinking of judge oysters.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on September 17, 2010, 11:00:14 AM
bonafied

Quote
You are a Bonafied winner of £1,000.000 in the 2010 Promo.Send your Names,Country,Sex,Tel,Occupation.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on September 17, 2010, 11:06:24 AM
I like how they know you have multiple names.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 17, 2010, 11:23:31 AM
YOU BEEN BONAFIED, BITCH!

If you do not survive this bonafication, at least you'll die happy.


/probably funnier if you use the long-O pronunciation
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 17, 2010, 11:47:44 AM
Sender:  Official Business
Subject:  Office of the Economic and Financial Crime Commission's Chairperson

Snippet:  MR PRESIDENT.  You are needed.


:shock:  Quick, Mrs Peel!  We're needed!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 30, 2010, 01:53:09 PM
Sender:  Concepcion Leaf
Subject:  Time is Percocet!


This almost explains many things.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on September 30, 2010, 02:58:46 PM
Quote
Good day,

This message is for persons, who can work at home as editor of business texts.

The duty takes less than 120 minutes a day. You can complete it at free time for example.

About 2 thousand workers in our company from the different countries, and it is necessary for us, that they understood each other in business correspondence is better.

You will receive about four or five KB of texts every day. After you revise them, you must forward these texts to us.
Requirements you must correspond to:
1. You must be US citizen
2. Be adult
3. Have computer skills
We offer not fixed payment for this work. We pay 4 $ for 1 kb of the text which you edit. This means 600 $ a month.



Please reply us with filled following form:

1. E-Mail
2. Name, second name
3. Current age
Full adrress
5. The postal code
6. Your cell.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 30, 2010, 03:05:28 PM
I'd say go for it. Time is Percocet, after all!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Talix on October 01, 2010, 11:44:26 AM
If only!  ;)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 01, 2010, 08:28:10 PM
Sender:  Bernie Berberbr
Subject:  Polar bear mauls tourists

Gmail synopsis:  Be a real hero in bed tonight


By fighting off the polar bears?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on October 01, 2010, 08:39:38 PM
I'd bang someone who could do that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on October 01, 2010, 08:59:54 PM
nights are long up north.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 01, 2010, 09:21:05 PM
I could fight a polar bear.  I'm not sure how long the fight would be.  But if there are goddamned tourists in the vicinity of my bed, the polar bear is going to be on my payroll.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on October 01, 2010, 09:34:08 PM
take his arms. it's your right.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 01, 2010, 09:40:48 PM
You have a right to bear arms, but not a right to all bear arms.  Possession is nine tenths, and the bear starts off with them.

I have a few weapons near my bed that wouldn't be useless against a polar bear -- yes, now the idea of it is running in the back of my head -- but I surely don't have any that would give me the advantage. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on October 04, 2010, 02:58:29 PM
Hush little polar bear
Sleep in the snow
And dream of the places
Where dreaming bears go

Sail the high seas
On the back of a whale

Land on a beach
And then follow a trail...

Ian's favorite book right now (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_22?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=hush+little+polar+bear&x=0&y=0&sprefix=hush+little+polar+bear)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Encino Man on October 06, 2010, 02:20:55 PM
Works better when the URL is masked behind a working link.

Quote
An attempt to access CIBC Online Banking was denied 30mins ago:

If you do not remember trying to access online banking, please select:

That was NOT me <http://www.danceradioglobal.com/djsets/songs/index.html>


Une tentative d'accéder à CIBC Banque en direct a été refusée le matin:

Si vous ne vous souvenez pas d'avoir tenté d'accéder à Banque en direct, please cliquez sur:

Ce n'était PAS moi <http://www.danceradioglobal.com/djsets/songs/index.html>


CIBC Bank All rights reserved..
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 06, 2010, 04:57:27 PM
Well, they didn't say it was a GOOD attempt to access your bank account.  Could've just been a wild miss.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: dogbone on October 09, 2010, 05:27:26 PM
Subject line: McDonalds Spore Gangbang

Unfortunately, the body text was gibberish. I was totally in up to that point.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on October 13, 2010, 07:54:53 AM
From:  Root User
New erection pack in shop


Improve TABs and PILLS in older shop


go go go >>
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 24, 2010, 01:21:40 PM
You e-mail has won 495,872,45,000 Euros!

Yeah, that seems legit.  And plausible.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on October 29, 2010, 08:47:38 AM
Subject: Job offer.

Hi

Let me represent you West Bridge LTD.  We have reviewed your profile, and concluded you are the right person to become our employee.

Requirements: Must be US citizen.

Send your replys to: xxxxx

Regards.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 29, 2010, 10:30:10 AM
Yeah, that seems legit.  And plausible.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 03, 2010, 10:42:49 PM
Sender:  Lionel Atkins
Subject:  Did you order a cow?  Mooooooo


:confused:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on November 04, 2010, 12:09:05 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on November 04, 2010, 07:48:44 AM
Oh, that Lionel... Always the jokester!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 05, 2010, 07:04:01 PM
Sender: Jama Crots
Subject:  Happy Havanese Machine


Isn't Havanese a toy breed of dog?  WTF, mang.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 09, 2010, 06:49:19 PM
Sender:  Bluemed
Subject:  Drugs! Bosnian relatives!



Errrrr . . . maybe I'll say no thanks.  At the very least, it sounds like a potentially really bad combination.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 12, 2010, 10:36:33 AM
Sender:  Pfizermiser
Subject:  Sale-over of downward university


Ah, yes -- I spent an ill-advised semester at Downward University.  And isn't Pfizermiser one of Santa Claus's enemies?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 24, 2010, 01:17:08 PM
Sender: Hilary swank
Subject:  Penis longer, recommended by industry experts & elephants


First of all, no one needs their penis THAT much longer.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 28, 2010, 10:21:54 AM
Sender: Olestra Calm
Subject:  You'll think I'm hotter than your sister!


Um . . . good?


And is that the 'Olestra calm' before the storm?  :uncertain:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on November 28, 2010, 10:44:49 AM
I read that as Olestra Clam
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 09, 2010, 03:44:55 PM
Sender:  Montel Alun
Subject:  You wanted sexy Jewesses



Well, I suppose there have been instances, over the years, but it hasn't ever been an overriding driving force in my online shopping.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on December 09, 2010, 07:11:09 PM
Here I am  :knotty:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 09, 2010, 07:31:08 PM
:lol:  Well, if you meet any guys named Montel, watch out.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 11, 2010, 11:46:47 AM
Sender:  Enlarge.VeryGoo20   
Subject:  Big penis like a girl!


Maybe the other way around, Yoda.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 15, 2010, 04:34:19 PM
Sender:  McG Reboot
Subject:  Cheap hot 750mg Watson!


Wow.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on December 15, 2010, 04:48:06 PM
 :hmm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on December 15, 2010, 06:40:36 PM
McG reboot!

Yeah, my mac's been wanting me to reboot for a while now. Maybe I'll take that spam's advice.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on December 15, 2010, 09:40:30 PM
Do we want to know what a "hot Watson" is?

I AM NOT SO SURE
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 15, 2010, 11:02:59 PM
750mg however is a pretty typical mass of ... well never mind
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on December 15, 2010, 11:14:24 PM
("Watson 750" is inscribed on Watson-brand generic vicodin, btw) (Or should I say v1c0d1nz!!11)

Edit: Wait, no it's not. It's Watson 387 on the 7.5/750 hydrocodone/APAP pillz. My bad.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on December 15, 2010, 11:18:20 PM
I was about to ask, "Just how did you know that, missy?" Then my brain turned on.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on December 15, 2010, 11:52:33 PM
Actually I wouldn't have known that from my week of working in the pharmacy. I mean, I knew they were Watson brand generic SOMETHINGS and I could guess that it was something people might like to get from spam, i.e., controlled substances (obviously), and I did know that Watson was the mfgr of the generic vicodin Walgreens sells, but...really? I knew that from reading a pharmacy blog: theangrypharmacist.com. He is often ranting about "crackheads" (drug-seekers) coming in and asking for their vick-o-dans or their watson 385s and such. The guy (the angry pharmacist) comes off as a pretty big jerk but he also has his points. I figured it was good for me to read stories from such a jaded perspective to know what I was getting myself into.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on December 16, 2010, 12:28:38 AM
Now that's an intriguing read... Thanks!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 18, 2010, 09:07:10 AM
Sender:  Sethr Girl
Subject:  when i unhook my bra breasts come out


This is news?  Unless you mean it in some crazy horror-movie fashion, in which case, still, never mind.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 18, 2010, 10:33:57 AM
http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=xza6E6Gbx5Y

nsfw

also

:eek: :galm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on December 18, 2010, 11:54:31 AM
I don't want the kind of spam Hmof is apparently getting.  :shock:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 18, 2010, 11:55:41 AM
Wow. I utterly do not remember that scene.  :lol:  It's been a long time since I saw that film, but even so.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 18, 2010, 12:15:56 PM
I don't want the kind of spam Hmof is apparently getting.  :shock:

Oh sorry, that wasn't spam, it was a response to the 'breasts come out in crazy horror movie fashion' Axe was referring to.

And also? :galm: - that is like the ONLY  scene most people remember from the movie.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on December 18, 2010, 02:38:42 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 20, 2010, 02:59:28 PM
Sender:  Bruce Bannister
Subject: I Am A Bull And A Lawyer


I gotta admit, I'd probably be bragging, too.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 20, 2010, 09:39:43 PM
Sender:  Your Friend Alice
Subject:  Give the gift of the golden cock


GIVE ME BACK MY GOLDEN COCK.

/worst campfire tale ever
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on December 20, 2010, 09:49:18 PM
:lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 20, 2010, 10:50:01 PM
You have no idea how hard it's going to be for me to avoid blurting out that phrase at work, etc, from now on.  The moment it occurred to me, it became embedded.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on December 20, 2010, 10:54:57 PM
Hahaha, I yelled it as I read it.

"Whooooo.... has my... goldennnnn cock?"

"YOU'VE GOT IT!"
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on December 20, 2010, 11:20:38 PM
Forget a golden cock, I want a golden gander!

(or a rhea, but that's just being greedy)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on December 21, 2010, 01:15:50 AM
 :lol:  Holy crap.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on December 21, 2010, 03:02:27 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 30, 2010, 05:04:10 PM
Sender:  Morna Lens
Subject:  Girlz with huge kidneys!

:confused:

I said I wanted girls with huge spleens, damn it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 01, 2011, 12:30:00 AM
Sender: Mona K
Subject:  Cum see my big tits and busty hair!


Lady, I don't think either of us understands what you're trying to sell.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 02, 2011, 02:27:51 PM
Sender:  BEST HEATERS
Subject:  Are your jedi cold?


The weirdest part of this is that I was just arguing about Jedi nonsense elsewhere.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 02, 2011, 04:38:16 PM
Hell yes, my jedi are cold. They're practically re-ascended!

/power of the dark side, etc etc
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 02, 2011, 06:04:18 PM
Those robes look warm, but maybe they're drafty.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 03, 2011, 07:10:41 PM
Sender: Sexy Baby
Subject:  Method Actor Penis


Huh.  :hmm:  You know, that seems like it almost makes sense.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on January 03, 2011, 08:10:04 PM
I drink your milkshake!

(http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/2838/idrinkyourmilkshakee.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 04, 2011, 04:18:17 PM
Sender: APRIL GUTTERS
Subject:  Hot ladies looking for sand


Uh . . . you ran out of crawfish?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 04, 2011, 04:20:55 PM
:galm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on January 04, 2011, 04:48:27 PM
NOT CRAYFISH
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 04, 2011, 06:45:50 PM
MITTERAND:  Please pass the tiny lobsters dish.

THATCHER:  Those are not "tiny lobsters".  Those are crayfish.

MITTERAND:  Fish?  Do not make me laugh.  I represent the greatest food snots in the world, and I know what it is the fish and what it is not the fish, and this is not the fish.  Regard: it has the claws.  Does this fish of the cray have the claws?

THATCHER:  Yes, you twit.  It's a crustacean.

MITTERAND:  Perhaps I am a twit, but at least I am not wearing the tweedy British clothings of such monumental dowdiness that a dog would be reluctant to relieve himself upon them.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on January 05, 2011, 07:09:53 PM
*SPAM* New Message
From: Ulysses Ashley

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Family!

Just wanted to write you, and let you know, how the degree program I tried out went.
Well, six weeks later, I graduated, finished & received my Masters Degree with no study required and %100 verifiable.

Yeah mom, I know you and Dad doubted it at first, but this turned out to be %100 legit. This opportunity was given to me because of the professional experience and previous course work I had accumulated.

I’m so excited mom and dad, this was a life altering opportunity & for once in my life I took advantage of it.

I already have jobs, that wouldn’t have given me a chance before, now they are calling off the hook! This really is a godsend.

Tell Susan and Cousin Joey that they better hurry up and call that # I gave them the other day.

...

Anyway, much love, and tell the rest of the family I said hello

Love,
Your son,

John

P.s. Mom, why don’t you send this email to a few of your friends?  My professor told me that if we send over referrals the school can give us a scholarship.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 05, 2011, 08:01:54 PM
They are calling OFF THE HOOK!  Seriously, it's out of control.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on January 06, 2011, 05:05:12 AM
%100!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 07, 2011, 08:39:32 PM
Sender: Becky Chavez
Subject: sexy radical nazi amputes


Well, you know, I thought "nazi amputees", same-old, same-old -- but, hey, "radical"!  Must be something good.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 07, 2011, 09:42:51 PM
I was just thinking of how awesome it would be if all spam was literally true.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 07, 2011, 09:48:12 PM
Nigeria would be bankrupt.  But, then, it probably is.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2011, 09:31:48 PM
Sender:  Maria Doctor
Subject:  Cut-rate Adderall Now!


Er . . . you mean cut-price?  I suppose that's the kind of thing one should not assume.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 20, 2011, 08:16:52 AM
Gmail's auto-blurb thing sometimes makes spam more interesting because you can see some of the text without opening the note.


Sender:  Ip300
Subject:  Hello Dear!  I am a civilized Russian man girl looking for love.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 20, 2011, 11:37:25 PM
Sender:  Lucy Nommer
Subject:  Cheap depravity stalks!


Ah, but it's the depravity florets that I really like.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 21, 2011, 10:48:02 AM
Lately, I'm getting a lot of spam that uses the phrase 'maximum gentleman' in place of 'giant penis'.  Is this a new trope I just hadn't heard of before?

I'm not sure yet if I like it or not.  :hmm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 24, 2011, 06:51:59 PM
Sender:  Margaret Thatcher
Subject:  I SEE THROUGH YOUR WINDOWS AND I LIKE WHAT I SEE


Well!  The 'Iron Lady', indeed.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on January 24, 2011, 07:39:07 PM
To: treasurer (@) seattleatheists.org
From: Supposedly from somebody in the Seattle schools
Subject: Atheism .

By: Mariam & Challen

 

Level 1

1.       How do the atheism worship?
2.       What do they worship?
3.       Do they have church?
4.       Are they Around Seattle?
5.       Do they believe in god?
6.       Do they have religious believe?

Level2

1.       Do they believe in the same thing as Christians?
2.       Does Atheism go to churches?
3.       Atheism why don’t they believe in god?
4.       Is the atheism against people that believe in god?

Level3

1.       Do the atheism communities have art & museums?
2.       Do they have interesting traditions?
3.       Atheism do they read the bible?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 24, 2011, 07:47:20 PM
Level :eyeroll:


If they're anti-atheism, they're making a hell of a case for it by way of being a bad example.  And -- speaking as an atheist of sorts -- good god, I hope they don't really work for the schools.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on January 24, 2011, 07:59:46 PM
Level4

1.     How is babby formed?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on January 24, 2011, 08:22:40 PM
Well, thanks to this email I know that you can view the Seattle Public Schools' website in Amharic, Chinese, Lao, Somali, Spanish, Tagalog, Tigrigna, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Oromo, or English!  I'd never heard of a couple of those before.  Apparently there are a lot of Ethiopian and Somali refugees in Seattle.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Talix on January 25, 2011, 09:47:37 AM
Level5

1. Magnets...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on January 25, 2011, 12:26:57 PM
 :lol:

Level 6: Humping Turtle video
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mrcookieface on January 25, 2011, 01:30:50 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 26, 2011, 07:58:41 AM
Sender:  office file
Subject:  CONTACT WESTERN UNION OFFICIAL DR PROFESSOR SUPERHERO JESUS


Ohhhh . . . you had me, and then you went a little too far.

On the other hand, I have an idea for next year's Halloween costume.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: hajen on January 30, 2011, 11:45:25 AM
weird spam via Reddit, click here (http://i.imgur.com/i7ziB.png)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 30, 2011, 12:46:53 PM
Hey, why not take a walk on the wildside?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on January 30, 2011, 01:19:39 PM
For royalty, they have shitty nicknames.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 02, 2011, 10:15:56 PM
Sender:  Peachy Pitts
Subject:  Watch her [screw] a watermelon with a strapon!


Do what now?  Is this a category of porn big enough to merit its own spam hook?  Maybe they're just trolling for the novelty-hungry I Gotta See This crowd.


edit:  now that look at that again, it occurs to me that it's ambiguous.  Maybe they mean the strap-on goes on the melon rather than in the melon.  I think that would be slightly more mainstream, but I haven't seen a study done, or anything.

I'm still not curious enough to open the note, though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on March 01, 2011, 01:07:55 AM
Subject: Speaking Out On Matters That Effect You

It's from a tech group I belong to. I guess it could be the right homonym, if they're further along with robotics than I have been heretofore aware.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 10, 2011, 08:14:23 AM
Sender:  darwin pseudo-likelihood
Subject:  Have you considered sex?


Yes.  Yes, I have.  Although usually not in both a darwinian and personal context at the same time.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 14, 2011, 07:22:59 AM
Sender:  JT
Subject:  FREE PASS to Enter Celebrity Bottoms!


Welp.  I guess I'm going to the Oscars this year.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 14, 2011, 04:08:20 PM
I'm not 100% sure if this counts as spam, but . . . today I got an email from "Mercury Magazines" saying that I was getting three free magazine subscriptions.  Sent to me at the shop.  

One is Road & Track, and one is called Greetings, etc.  The other wasn't specified.  I didn't have to agree to anything, and there's no address to respond to.

:shrug:

I'll warn everyone at work not to sign or agree to anything, but unless they're just hoping I resubscribe . . . I'm not sure if this is a scam or just some weird marketing.  Google says Greetings etc. is the source for retailers seeking greetings cards, stationery, and party goods, including memo pads, note pads, giftwarp, and packaging bows.  So apparently they think we sell cars, memo pads, and packaging bows.

Actually, you often see car ads where a new car has a gigantic bow on it, and I've always wondered where they get those.  I suppose this magazine has a monthly column addressing that issue.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 14, 2011, 05:07:20 PM
Apparently, for some reason, the third magazine is Poland By Mail.

:hmm:

Wow, kind of (http://www.polandbymail.com/).

Now I really wonder what they think we sell.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 26, 2011, 12:16:30 AM
Sender:  Catherine Bombecky
Subject:  Horny NRA Show!


Oh, no, no no no no no.  Uh-uh.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on April 26, 2011, 12:35:13 PM
What could possibly go wrong?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 26, 2011, 02:41:49 PM
Says a woman who's never seen a sexual assault rifle.  The bayonet alone is pretty alarming.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on April 26, 2011, 02:57:54 PM
"What is it, Dr. Zherkov?"

"Appears to be some species of Penisaurus!"
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on April 26, 2011, 02:58:49 PM
I still think of National Restaurant Association whenever I see NRA
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on April 26, 2011, 02:59:52 PM
National Recovery Act, here

(http://paws.wcu.edu/mulligan/www/NRAposter.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 26, 2011, 11:11:18 PM
Quote
National Recovery Act, here

That, but mostly because it comes up in crossword puzzles a lot.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on April 27, 2011, 08:26:39 AM
 :eyeroll:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 29, 2011, 06:49:44 AM
Lately I've been getting hundreds of spam emails from one or two senders, over and over again, which is not something I usually see.  I finally cautiously opened a few, and they're from Google Groups addresses.  Inside, it's just Facebook links and images of some kind that I don't bother loading.

I haven't much explored the Google extended groupwork services gunk, partly because I hate that kind of collaborative crap in the first place, but I can't remember getting spammed with it before.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 29, 2011, 02:15:22 PM
Sender:  unique tröster   
Subject:  referenda laudy daudy


:shrug:‏
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 01, 2011, 08:35:52 AM
I'm kind of excited because I started getting spam again from some bot that tries to make original sentences.  The made-up sender names aren't very good -- I got four yesterday, and the most plausible name among them was "suthern ttgghh".  But the subject lines:

-  Canadia!  that's a warning for you haters

-  burkhalter, but the primaso puff on the endo (keep puffing!)

-  Bink, get cops and shields, steady, hark the (?)

-  barbarian thuuuuuugs back 2 bust u again!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on May 02, 2011, 03:06:14 AM
Quote
Canadia!

 :canada:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on May 03, 2011, 12:38:45 PM
Hallo Marketer!

Mike dacht dat jij wel interesse hebt in het product Cruiser PT Blazer | army green van Little Soho.



is that german?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 03, 2011, 12:45:20 PM
Dutchlish.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on May 03, 2011, 01:25:00 PM
Dutch lich? What's the THAC0 on those?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 05, 2011, 06:23:41 PM
Sender:  Mildred Lady
Subject:  Enjoy your luxury penis credit card!


I'm afraid that is a level of luxury to which I have not become accustomed.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on May 05, 2011, 09:21:46 PM
Charge it!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 05, 2011, 10:01:22 PM
There are cards that will let you put a custom picture on there, but I'd need at least a debit card as well.

It would be embarrassing when a cashier asked for ID.

"You don't look like your photo."

"Not right now."

"A girl's got to have standards."

/Real Geniusish

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 07, 2011, 07:21:39 PM
Sender:  Fatima Enola Gay
Subject:  Try my super viagra!


Uh . . . by the exploding beard of the Prophet, I don't think so.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 09, 2011, 10:26:02 AM
Sender:  Yorkshire Building Society
Subject:  Remortgage Before Your Mortgage Runs Out!


Uh, what?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on May 09, 2011, 11:05:22 AM
With you, it could happen.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 09, 2011, 11:28:23 AM
Sender:  Yorkshire Building Society

:hmm:

Luxury. In our day our parents put us up for mortgage collateral, and when we were late with the payments the bank would send someone round to touch us up with a rubber truncheon ...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 09, 2011, 02:41:47 PM
:uncertain:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on May 13, 2011, 11:09:17 AM
spam or someone in slovenia that want's to buy some jewelry?



Inbox > Message Detail
 Print   Previous  Next
Subject:   
    Mail Order To Slovenia
From:   
Karen and Alan <karen.alan03@live.com>   (Add as Preferred Sender)   
Date:   Thu, May 12, 2011 11:39 pm
To:   perry@perrydrake.com
Hello,
I will like to order some items from you and get it shipped to my place in Slovenia, also i will be paying via my credit card which was issued in the United states as this is the only available means of payment. I have a shipper which you'll contact regarding shipping that can get the items picked up from your location and deliver directly to my door step without hassle and i will also like to know the types of credit card you accept.Let me know if i am welcome to place an order. Thanks

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 13, 2011, 11:14:10 AM
:hmm:

Slovenia is civilized. I would say get the numbers and call the credit card company.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 13, 2011, 11:48:02 AM
No, that's spam.  We get zillions of those, often from people who have no idea what we sell.

If they say they want to use their own shipper, it's a scam. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on May 13, 2011, 11:57:26 AM
thanks, i was pretty sure it was spam. i've gotten a few requests out of the blue, but the people always tell me what item they're interested it. i've had to ship to germany, france, UK and canada.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 13, 2011, 12:12:45 PM
Yeah, I forget how that scam even works, but the three warning flags are (A) asking for a list of what you have to sell, (B) wanting to buy unspecified items, and (C) saying they have their own shipper.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on May 13, 2011, 12:49:05 PM
Yeah, Punk had a guy, living in Montreal, working in Pittsburgh, getting married in Seattle, wanting wedding photos.  His job (a children's charity) was paying for the wedding as a gift.  Punk was supposed to cash the check, then send the leftover amount to the DJ, who was in New Jersey, I think.

Yeeaaahhh...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 13, 2011, 12:57:11 PM
:galm:

I sit corrected. I missed the "have their own shipper" part, that's amusing.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on May 13, 2011, 01:18:21 PM
i can just see some guy in a black hat and trench coat coming to my door in the middle of the night . . .

(http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads//2010/10/boris.jpg)

"you have merchandise? dah, good. we send check soon."
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 13, 2011, 01:40:20 PM
The 'consumer protection' racket is still my least favorite.  Someone orders something online, pays through Amazon or PayPal, gets the item, claims the item is not as described or that it never arrived.  Amazon or PayPal refunds their money, and the merchant is on the hook for the cost if they want to keep doing business with Amazon or PayPal.

Then the 'customer' sells the item on eBay.  Hurrah!  It can take a fair bit of work to track these people down and catch them doing it.  Then you have to visit them in the small hours and inject ants under their skin, or trap them in their basement to endure thirst until they stop caring -- really, it's a hassle.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on May 13, 2011, 10:49:54 PM
LOVE that. NOT.  :thumbsdn: Whoever thought of that idea has his head shoved up his ass, or desperately needs someone to do it for him.

Fortunately, no direct experience. *knocks on wood* But we read about it all the time in the eBay merchant forums.  :angry:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 20, 2011, 06:36:23 PM
Subject:  YOU WILL LOVE A CHESTY HOT COUGHER!


I think . . . I think cougher is supposed to be cougar, but I can't be sure.

Otherwise, worst fortune cookie ever.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on May 20, 2011, 07:58:00 PM
Man, I had a chesty cough a while ago.  I had to use an inhaler.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on May 20, 2011, 11:59:55 PM
 :lol:

And it was most likely hot
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on May 30, 2011, 12:22:26 AM
This was to the China accounting group email...

Quote
Subject: Grow to be sure in your baby maker!

Desire to act like a xxx-star? Bang a blu colored med!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on May 30, 2011, 12:38:01 AM
Get it on! Bang a gong! :banana:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 30, 2011, 10:12:09 AM
:rollin:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 01, 2011, 02:30:45 PM
Sender:  Secret Master
Subject:  Do you know what to do if you're attacked and killed?


To be honest, I always figured I'd just play it by ear at that point.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on June 01, 2011, 04:33:58 PM
I'd haunt the fuck out of my killer.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 01, 2011, 06:09:38 PM
If you die from complications of malaria or something (God forbid), it would make for very dull haunting.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on June 02, 2011, 09:50:10 PM
Human killer? Oh man .... I'd crucify everyone the killer cared about on his/her ceiling. To start with.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 04, 2011, 01:18:29 PM
Sender:  XXL-Porn-Tube   
Subject:  Chesty lawful aged honey with a shaved lovely hole and delicious outback.  - Welcome to one of the biggest and most clean free porn tubes on the net!


Australian tubes, via outer space, apparently. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on August 04, 2011, 10:17:01 PM
chesty? check. lawful? check. AGED? depends.

 ;)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 01, 2011, 11:53:41 AM
Sender:  Canadan Farmacy
Subject:  Lovecraft porno is here!


:hmm:

Actually, if it weren't for Lovecraft, "Lovecraft" would have been a good name for a line of instructional pornos.

Meanwhile, I've been trying to think of likely titles for Lovecraft pornos, but I'm too tired and my brain won't focus.  All I've been able to come up with so far that's halfway decent is The Doom That Came On Sarnath.  :shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 01, 2011, 12:16:06 PM
What. This is EASY.

The Cum Of Cthulhu ... ?
The Donebitch Horror ... ?
The Video Cameras in the Walls ... ?
At The Mons of Madness ... ?

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 01, 2011, 12:46:27 PM
Quote
The Video Cameras in the Walls ... ?
At The Mons of Madness ... ?

:hmm:  Those two are good.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on September 01, 2011, 02:09:04 PM
2 Girls 1 Cult
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 01, 2011, 03:35:01 PM
:hmm:

Voyeurism flick Jerker at the Threshold.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on September 01, 2011, 04:40:34 PM
Nyarlwhoretep
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 01, 2011, 04:42:21 PM
:galm:

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 01, 2011, 05:14:30 PM
I gave up and looked at a bibliography of sorts, and . . . a bunch of his titles would work fine for subtle / Victorian / fetish and/or creepy pornos.

A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson
The Transition of Juan Romero
The Terrible Old Man
Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family
Sweet Ermengarde
Hypnos
What The Moon Brings
He
Pickman's Model
The Very Old Folk
The Whisperer in Darkness
The Evil Clergyman
The Diary of Alonzo Typer
The Man of Stone
The Mound
The Noble Eavesdropper
The Secret Cave, or John Lees Adventure
Ode to Selene or Diana
The Members of the Men's Club of the First Universalist Church of Providence
His Mother on Thanksgiving
On Robert Browning
Mr. Munroe, on His Instructive and Entertaining Account of Switzerland
An Accomplished Young Gentlewoman on Her Birthday
The Power of Wine
Unda; or, The Bride of the Sea
Gems From In a Minor Key
A Rural Summer Eve
On the Cowboys of the West


AND SO ON.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on September 01, 2011, 06:54:34 PM
What The Moon Brings
The Man of Stone
The Mound
The Secret Cave, or John Lees Adventure
The Members of the Men's Club of the First Universalist Church of Providence
On Robert Browning
On the Cowboys of the West


 :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 01, 2011, 08:09:57 PM
 :hmm: It almost, but not quite, makes me intrigued enough to read Lovecraft.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 01, 2011, 08:40:18 PM
Lovecraft was brilliant (and a bit nuts), but to some extent artistically a victim of his time.  He was a very specific stylist, but a lot of what seems awkward or cheesy today was very chic back in the first few decades of the last century.  Now, a lot of his writing seems (A) bombastic and overly fancy, and (B) absurdly overwrought reportage.  I'll be the first to admit that he wasn't the best stylist, but he sure was imaginative.

Still, his stuff didn't come out of a vacuum; he was heavily influenced by materialist philosophers and writers like Wells and Machen and Meritt, plus the science of the time.

The reportage is sometimes painful, especially when it's secondhand, but the same style survives today in urban legends and ghost stories.  It's meant to give the audience the feeling that this stuff actually happened . . . to someone.  It's often been said that the best Lovecraft stories were written by other people, although not everyone agrees by whom.  Meritt and Lumley and Derleth and sometimes Bloch.  Stephen King wrote at least two blatant Lovecraft stories, Jerusalem's Lot (which I liked) and Crouch End (which I didn't like so much).

Meritt's Dwellers in the Mirage is sort of the improved intersection of Lovecraft and Howard (Conan-style).  If you're only going to read one Lovecraft story, you might try At The Mountains of Madness or maybe The Rats in the Walls.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 11, 2011, 11:34:24 AM
Sender:  COL BRIAN SPACE DIMENSION
Subject:  Pray for our soldiers!


Well, surely, if they're led by Col Space Dimension, they ought to prevail.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on September 11, 2011, 02:14:21 PM
What. This is EASY.

The Cum Of Cthulhu ... ?
The Donebitch Horror ... ?
The Video Cameras in the Walls ... ?
At The Mons of Madness ... ?

The Elder Oh My Gods
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 11, 2011, 02:54:53 PM
:hmm:  :thumbsup:

At The Mountings of Madness

Should've thought of that right away.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on September 11, 2011, 06:05:37 PM
right now, i kind of think of lovecraft as a rich kid racist little glustik. maybe it's just a phase (for me, not him).

(http://lolthulhu.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/internet-o_rlyeh.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 11, 2011, 07:17:56 PM
A glustik?  Because he was tall and thin?  Actually, he looks tall in portraits, but I'm not sure if he was, now that I think of it.

He wasn't exactly rich, either, for whatever it's worth.  His father died when Lovecraft was very young, and his grandfather's wealth was frittered away by relatives.  Lovecraft's mother had to sell their house while he was in high school, if I remember right, and he was pretty much poor after that.  He and his wife were so poor that she moved to Chicago or something without him, for some job, and he was stuck in New York, trying to compete with recent immigrants for whatever labor was available, which wasn't much.

That's when he got racist -- not that it excuses it, but it's perhaps easier to understand, especially considering that it was far more normal in the 1920s.  It was like forty or fifty years later before people started seriously complaining that his stuff was racist.  Lovecraft started writing in the age of Haggard and Burroughs and was brought up on Victorian fantasy and weird tales, and most of his contemporaries and correspondents were equally racist.

Don't get me wrong.  The racism is worth pointing out, absolutely, and worth not repeating.  His fans ought to be aware of it.  He wasn't a saint, but . . . .  :shrug:

Mileage varies, and yadda.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 13, 2011, 05:16:09 PM
The new software group made a tiny little change - instead of the mail group getting notified of HL 7 messages that failed to move, they are getting a copy of each message. Since the end of july. I Found out yesterday.

only 4 0 0,0 0 0 left to delete, manually.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on September 13, 2011, 05:44:46 PM
oh forgot to reply. i was joking about the glustik part. it's a fazed meme. u a disgrace (http://www.flickr.com/photos/skyzyx/5217852055/lightbox/)

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 13, 2011, 06:15:19 PM
i'm at least not 5 of those things.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on September 13, 2011, 06:25:54 PM
i'm totally down with #20.
:lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 13, 2011, 06:26:54 PM
Quote
only 4 0 0,0 0 0 left to delete, manually.

No interns?  Or, I mean, some day we'll have machines that can automate that process . . . I hope.


:hmm: @ the glustik meme . . . .

I think that guy was working through some issues.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 13, 2011, 08:16:03 PM
I HOPE he's working through issues.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 03, 2011, 07:50:51 AM
Sender:  Lydia Goffss
Subject:  Overhaul my vagina, Big Chap!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 05, 2011, 09:43:56 AM
Sender:  Melanie K. Bleeds
Subject:  VIAGRA EXPLOSION!


I'll pass.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on October 05, 2011, 12:33:26 PM
Yeah... exploding and body parts don't go together all that happily for me.  :uncertain:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on October 09, 2011, 12:33:05 PM
It would totally sound like a legit porn title except that there's no number mentioned.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on October 13, 2011, 02:51:44 PM
Quote
madison6cruz BOTS s my screename on yahooinstant messenger to chat i'm blonde single 21 yr old female ive seen your picture online i think youre cute

Might I suggest not putting "bot" in your screenname?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 25, 2011, 05:47:01 PM
Sender:  Mercedes Zero
Subject:  YOU ARE THE SELECTED PREFERENT FOR OUR COMPUTER SEX NOW


:hmm:


I HAVE BEEN STIMULATION TITILLATED AND ANTICIPATE FURTHER INPUT ACTIVITIES.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on October 26, 2011, 02:36:57 AM
:redface:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 26, 2011, 08:29:07 PM
Sender:  Estella
Subject:  Maldigo el día que me rapé una parte de la cabeza.


The internets say this means "I curse the day I snuff a part of the head," or possibly (minority votes) "I curse you on the day I snuff a part of the head."

I don't think I can help you, Estella.  :shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on November 02, 2011, 12:59:55 PM
Spam generally doesnt make it through Mikey's filters - but when it does ...

Sender: lzTruusted$OEMsoftware%Check commander statement 87
MSG: third.herself?times.ours rns6mitself-all.fightingtowards


No, you iz not trusted and I do not care what you are fighting toward.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 02, 2011, 01:08:51 PM
Clearly she's fighting toward third herself times.  Can't blame her, but it probably won't happen if she's trying too hard.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on November 08, 2011, 02:23:12 PM
Subject: Tim Russert's sex scandal exposed at funeral
FROM: Enlarge with Sample 

This is not a myth

http://pussywach dot com/
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on November 08, 2011, 03:00:04 PM
yeah ok i buy it, but how do you WIND that fuckin watch is what i want to know.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 17, 2011, 09:49:05 AM
Sender:  The Money Guys!
Subject:  CONTENT NOT FOUND


You'd think the Money Guys would be more content than most.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on November 17, 2011, 10:05:09 AM
Maybe they are talking about YOUR CONTENT
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 17, 2011, 10:15:58 AM
Well, I don't want them finding my content.

:harumph:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: TFJ on November 17, 2011, 12:20:43 PM
the user is the content
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 17, 2011, 01:14:48 PM
Well, that doesn't change my reaction.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on November 18, 2011, 08:47:27 PM
They have an ointment for that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 18, 2011, 08:59:19 PM
Just got this one:


Sender:  Sex Girlies
Subject:  We Love Samey Puffs


Samey Puffs . . . isn't that that cereal that tastes like every other cereal?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on November 19, 2011, 01:42:25 AM
it depends on the flavor.

samey "cheese" puffs
samey "ranch" puffs
samey "generic" puffs . . .

mmmmm . . . . corn based packing puffs . . .
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 22, 2011, 08:39:17 AM
Sender:  ItalianhatClown
Subject:  We have naked things for you



Wuh.  It was bad enough when they just sobbed and sang opera.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on November 22, 2011, 09:46:06 AM
At least it's not from Italianasshatclown.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Talix on November 25, 2011, 11:10:14 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 28, 2011, 03:56:58 PM
Sender:  Stefffi
Subject:  I AM TOTALLY NUDE INSIDE


Pretty sure most of us are totally nude inside.  No need to brag about it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on November 28, 2011, 04:53:28 PM
I am wearing nothing under my clothes.
/whoa (keanu)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 28, 2011, 05:10:59 PM
I'm not wearing anything under anyone's clothes.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 03, 2011, 07:54:46 AM
Sender:  Davida Dav
Subject:  Sex Up State House Abuja With HPV


. . . .


Sender:  Grubstake Hottie Selena
Subject:  our most invasive girls will visit you nightly


I'm not sure if that's an offer or a threat.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 19, 2011, 11:01:28 PM
Sender:  Ram Barry
Subject:  cyber action - submithiscore


I kept reading 'submit his core', but I suppose that's probably 'submit hi score'.

Also, I'm glad my name is not 'Ram Barry'.  Although this reminded me of how a cow-orker insists on pronouncing 'Ram Dass' no matter how often people suggest the vowels are longer.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on December 20, 2011, 12:04:05 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 20, 2011, 11:39:37 AM
sender:  Spymaster J
subject:  ПОДСЛУШВАНЕ НА GSM‏


Alarming!  I remember enough Russian to think that means 'tapped by the GSM', although I'm not sure who the GSM are.

Also, "Spymaster J" sounds like a rapper's handle.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 09, 2012, 10:34:16 AM
Sender: Karl
Subject: Sexiest ladies with super welding machine


Um . . . I think I'll skip this one.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on January 09, 2012, 11:43:59 AM
you know, if you really needed welding done it would be kinda cool to have it done by the sexiest ladies.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 09, 2012, 02:20:23 PM
:hmm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2012, 06:10:06 PM
Sender:  Renaldo Mania
Subject:  Our girls are all sex and no hands



Like . . . rollercoaster 'no hands' or minority fetish 'no hands'?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2012, 06:20:16 PM
Sender:  Ramona 8
Subject:  I Heard You Like Girls With Big Cars



Sender:  Larissa
Subject:  If you like to dress up like Angelina Jolie



If . . . then what?

Also, either spam is getting very specific or else someone is spreading strange rumors about me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: First Post on January 16, 2012, 07:19:30 PM
haha

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been? In case u dont know
who this is its ME ADRIANA.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then
I think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... I got 2 things to
tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up
about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR
U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3
cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..I remember when we chatted
u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally
can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still
the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even
help me move my shit in...are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was
soo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and
take me out so u better be around bebe...we only chatted a couple
times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u
better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt
tell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about me.. well im
23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named
BOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but
every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..I really hope we get
a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i get
there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent
married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..
do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar
or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is fun
and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out
on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play
with myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need help
once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like i
said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON
STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..
ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives each
of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u
can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like
everyone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY
USE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more
than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cud
always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me
login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...
if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST
U... im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..
also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan :( I
really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern
remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably
soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. i
really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my
stress about the move... REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont
wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me
now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there
after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign
to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im
gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS
INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im out
for now i'll be online... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo ADRIANA
(link redacted)

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on January 16, 2012, 08:00:20 PM
she sounds legit and smart.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on January 16, 2012, 08:03:33 PM
I DEMAND ACCESS TO THE LINK THANK YOU VERY MUCH SIR.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on January 16, 2012, 08:30:07 PM
Dang, they put a lot of work into that one.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 16, 2012, 09:49:34 PM
Or 90% of it was copied from a random Craigslist Missed Connections post.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on January 16, 2012, 11:08:03 PM
Yes, probably more likely.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on January 17, 2012, 10:28:00 AM
Brilliant marketing. If you google some of that text, you'll see there are women that have dumped their boyfriends over this spam, thinking it's legit. They've probably infected their boyfriend's computer by trying to click on the link, or, if they've broken up with the boyfriend, he's now in the market for some sex webcam chat  :P
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on January 19, 2012, 07:02:22 PM
Quote
NO THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U

 :whatever:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 24, 2012, 08:57:02 PM
Sender: Dr Manitoba
Subject:  You want our Canadian drugs


Sure -- give me a pound of Back Viagra and two pints of Maple Xanax.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on January 24, 2012, 09:12:32 PM
Ohhhh? It comes in maple, now? (ahem) SWEET!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on January 24, 2012, 09:42:56 PM
Sender: Dr Manitoba
Subject:  You want our Canadian drugs


Sure -- give me a pound of Back Viagra and two pints of Maple Xanax.

I don't think you want Back Viagra, eh?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 24, 2012, 09:46:45 PM
I ran low on jokes.

I'm not even sure I want Maple Xanax, to be honest.  Maybe some oxycodone with gravy.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on January 25, 2012, 01:28:27 PM
Sender: Dr Manitoba
Subject:  You want our Canadian drugs


Sure -- give me a pound of Back Viagra and two pints of Maple Xanax.

I don't think you want Back Viagra, eh?

What Hump?

/Igor
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 27, 2012, 12:16:40 PM
Sender:  Lorenzo
Subject:  Reese Witherspoon has a new hairdo at you



Um.  What?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on January 27, 2012, 01:08:03 PM
Reese Witherspoon: *casts spell* I HAIRDO AT YOU!!!!! *BLAMM!!!!!*
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on January 27, 2012, 02:20:21 PM
Well that certainly explains what happened to my hair this morning.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 27, 2012, 03:11:59 PM
I must be getting your mail.  :shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on January 27, 2012, 03:34:18 PM
I am immune to even high-level hairdo spells.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on January 27, 2012, 03:45:11 PM
Don't challenge them! Can you imagine getting a spell of extreme frizziness cast on your beard?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on January 27, 2012, 03:55:14 PM
Don't challenge them! Can you imagine getting a spell of extreme frizziness cast on your beard?

 :shock:


:demo:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 27, 2012, 04:02:20 PM
Don't challenge them! Can you imagine getting a spell of extreme frizziness cast on your beard?

:hmm: That must have been what happened to HPZ.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 29, 2012, 01:33:59 PM
Sender:  Google Changes
Subject:  Terry WetWet is looking for you



Well, OK, that's a change.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 30, 2012, 10:27:50 AM
Sender:  Becca Reanna Worf
Subject:  I'm naked in my underwear


In the first place, that's the normal arrangement.  If you were naked in my underwear, that would at least be something.

But you sound kinda Klingon, anyway.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on January 30, 2012, 02:13:02 PM
"in underwear" negates naked in my book
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 02, 2012, 01:25:08 PM
Quote
From:    Victoria's Secret <VictoriasSecret@e.victoriassecret.com>
Subject:    Starts Today... FREE Limited Edition LACIE with a $60 Purchase! In Stores & Online.

Oh goody, maybe it's one of these (http://www.lacie.com/us/products/product.htm?id=10553). However I wasn't thinking that hard disks were something Victoria's Secret were really big on giving.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 03, 2012, 11:15:12 AM
Sender:  Tomina
Subject:  Enjoy my hot metalized plastic fun


I don't promise that I will.



Sender:  Buxton Remy
Subject:  I have the secret of devastating intellectual vitality
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 04, 2012, 12:27:30 PM
Sender:  Zorg
Subject:  Eat Hot Fairway Laser Customers


So . . . is any explanation forthcoming?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on February 04, 2012, 02:07:40 PM
Sender:  Zorg
Subject:  Eat Hot Fairway Laser Customers


So . . . is any explanation forthcoming?

It's light. Handle's adjustable for easy carrying, good for righties and lefties. Breaks down into four parts, undetectable by x-ray, ideal for quick, discreet interventions. A word on firepower. Titanium recharger, three thousand round clip with bursts of three to three hundred, and with the Replay button - another Zorg invention - it's even easier.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 04, 2012, 02:31:12 PM
:hmm:

I guess that's all pretty straightforward.

Don't suppose it comes with a half-naked redhead? 

(Female and attractive, all you jokers reaching for Carrot Top pics . . . .)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 04, 2012, 07:08:44 PM
Mah favorite.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on February 04, 2012, 07:09:26 PM
We know how you would use the net launcher. Not that I wouldn't do the same, mind you.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 04, 2012, 07:12:07 PM
 I'll tell you what I do like though: a killer, a dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold blooded, clean, methodical and thorough.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 04, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
Anyone else want to negotiate?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 09, 2012, 02:55:19 PM
Sender:  Ted Pillzo
Subject:  you need cheaper erections



I'm a little curious how much they think I'm paying now.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on February 09, 2012, 04:56:51 PM
I got one today for enlargement supplements.  The subject line was something about Michelle Obama showing her warm side.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 15, 2012, 02:20:11 PM
Quote from: wtf
Dear Dr. ,
 
On behalf of the organizing committee, I cordially invite you to attend the international conference: 2012 International Conference on Geology of Mineral Deposits, which will be held in Ulan-Ude, Russia, on March 20-24, 2012. This event will be organized and hosted by Laboratory of Geological Institute, Siberian Branch, Russian Science Academy. EPS Global Medical Development Inc. (EPS), a Canada-based consulting agency, is authorized by the Scientific Committee to co-organize this important and exciting educational event.
 
We cordially welcome you to give an oral presentation to present your most recent research achievements and ideas at this meeting. For the conference program details, please visit our websites at www.epsglobal.ca and www.epsworldlink.com.
 
We are very interested in your article  Oceanographic Research Papers : Hydrography of chromophoric dissolved organic matter in the North Atlantic that is published on Deep Sea Research Part I .This article includes some novel conceptions, which may impress the worldwide experts in your field. The 2012 International Conference on Geology of Mineral Deposits will present an excellent opportunity for you to introduce this article to the worldwide experts, highlighting the great significance of your research achievement. We believe you will enjoy the casual and interactive settings of this meeting.
We believe that the charm of Ulan-Ude and the challenge of a dynamic scientific program will create a memorable experience for delegates.

We look forward to welcoming you in Ulan-Ude, Russia.
 
Sincerely,
 
Yao Lu,  MD, PhD
President of EPS Global Medical Development Inc.
1625 Maisonneuve Ouest
Suite 305, Montreal
Canada, H3H 2N4

The charm of Ulan-Ude! I've got to google this now
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 15, 2012, 02:21:47 PM
Oh there. It's close to (but not on) Lake Baikal!

It's got the biggest Head of Lenin sculpture EVER MADE.

I can't wait.

Oh it's in March! Let's see, daily mean high temperature, 19! NOT CELSIUS.

NOT GOING.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on February 15, 2012, 02:28:51 PM
i'd like to see this oral presentation.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 15, 2012, 02:59:15 PM
It does say "casual and interactive".  :knotty:


Quote
It's got the biggest Head of Lenin sculpture EVER MADE.

So far.



19 F isn't that cold.  :harumph:  And probably most of the conference is inside.  I don't think they mean to give you trowels and have you go find some mineral deposits for Show and Tell.

Although that would stretch the budget.  More vodak!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on February 15, 2012, 07:05:30 PM
Piffle.  19F is a fucking heat wave around these parts.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 15, 2012, 10:07:46 PM
Sender:  That Girl
Subject:  VAGINA


I can't decide if this is lazy or just extremely efficient.


Also, I couldn't help hearing that in Cuba Gooding Jr's voice, from Rat Race.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on February 15, 2012, 10:10:59 PM
 :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 16, 2012, 03:17:54 PM
Sender:  SISTER MARY N JOSEPH
Subject:  see me naked tonight


Now I'm starting to think that someone signed me up for a fake spam subscription.  I did laugh, though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on February 16, 2012, 04:40:02 PM
sister mary joseph . . .

(http://www.ewtn.com/Memoriam/Sr_joseph_big.jpg)

lucky you
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on February 17, 2012, 10:07:15 PM
Got a notice about the HP conference in June in Las Vegas, which, OK, I don't mind those.

But the exhortation not to miss Meg Whitman, that I could have done without.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 18, 2012, 01:36:43 AM
Crap. She's probably a Hufflepuff, isn't she.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on February 18, 2012, 11:48:01 PM
Slytherin, duh.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 19, 2012, 07:16:04 PM
Sender:  fluffko
Subject:  see my rack and flange now


I'm not 100% sure this is about sex.  I might be getting spam from a machine shop.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on February 20, 2012, 10:55:03 AM
Why can't it be from a machine shop and sex too?  They do have those calendars.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 20, 2012, 11:05:36 AM
Those girls don't seem to understand the tools they pose with.  If you let the girls from the Snap-On calendar near your lathe, at least one of you will never walk again.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 09, 2012, 03:59:28 PM
Sender:  girlie@girls.com
Subject:  I have tiny bulack on my nipples


And that's . . . good?  :shrug:

Not that I've ever wished for a girl with huge bulack on her nipples.  I didn't even know bulack size was an option we were supposed to check.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 09, 2012, 04:58:23 PM
This is kind of a new one - a thank-you note!

Quote

Dearest one,

How are you together with your family, i hope that all is well if so glory be to God amen. It has been a long time I have not hear from you. Well, I just want to use this medium time to thank you very much for your earlier assistance to help me in receiving my funds from bank, without any positive outcome.

I am obliged to inform you that I have succeeded in receiving the funds with the help of a new partner from Paraguay. Everything was perfectly done because we strike a deal with one of the Lady accountant who works with the Federal Ministry of Finance (FMF) and she rendered a tremendous help to me.

My new partner initiated this idea and everything worked out successfully. In appreciation of your earlier assistance to me in receiving the Funds. I have decided to compensate you with the sum of 200,000.00 Euro in a Cashier's bank draft (Two Hundred Thousand Euro).

This is from my own share. I did this simply to show you that it is good to do good to the right people always.

Presently, I am in Paraguay for investment project with my own share under the advice of my partner.

Meanwhile, I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

I will be sending you e-mail from time to time to know if you have received your share or not. Now contact my Rev, pastor Wilson Joseph. in Abidjan


Pastors of information: ID

In contact with this e-mail throuhg: rev.wilsonjoseph@yahoo.com
Christ the Redeemer Charismatic Episcopal Church
411 of Scott Mill Road, Canton,
Imm. 2000 Alfa Gourges Street, Plateau 01 BP 522 - Abidjan 01
Email: rev.wilsonjoseph@yahoo.com
TEl: +225 48 75 22 44
TEL: +225 65 20 55 98


Please do let me know immediately if you have received it so that we can share the joy together after all the suffering at that time. In the moment, I am very busy here in Paraguay because of the investment projects, which the new partner and I having at hand.

So feel free to get in touch with the Rev, pastor Wilson Joseph. to send the bank draft to you without any delay. Make sure, you send your telephone number and your postal address where my Pastor will post it to avoid any mistake.

I will advice you to contact the Pastor now and get back to me as soon as you received the bank draft from the Rev, pastor Wilson Joseph.

Contact me throuhg my Email: (princalinolivier101@yahoo.fr)

With My Best Regards

Madam. OLIVIER.

I should really ask Madam. OLIVIER. if she has tiny bulack on her nipples, too. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on March 09, 2012, 05:54:52 PM
sounds legit, you can use my phone, it has free roaming.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 09, 2012, 06:12:04 PM
This is making me think I should post one of those internet sex quizzes, but with like 25% questions that don't even make sense, just to troll the teenagers.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 12, 2012, 03:57:16 PM
Sender:  Teen Scouse Alarm
Subject:  See her frowsy vaginal area


:eyeroll:



:confused:  Isn't "scouse" some kind of stew?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on March 12, 2012, 06:35:53 PM
LOL, WTF is "frowsy"????


One I just got today:

Sender: Sarah Davidson
Subject: Calibrate a victory in intimate life


I could use some help calibrating my victories.  They seem.... off. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on March 12, 2012, 06:37:11 PM
A Liverpudlian is a scouser.  I guess it's some kind of denigration from higher caste Brits.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on March 12, 2012, 06:37:53 PM
That is true.  Though the term in fact originates with the word "scouse", which is a kind of soup/stew from that region.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on March 12, 2012, 06:39:03 PM
So are there real scousers in the scouse?  Does it taste like chicken?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 12, 2012, 06:44:58 PM
Frowsy is a word usually used to describe a carelessly unkempt and/or frazzled woman.  It means in a state of neglected disarray, like, uh, bedhead.  It's not quite dirty or mangy or gross, just sort of gone to seed.


Quote
I could use some help calibrating my victories.  They seem.... off.

Try switching to metric sex.  The calibration is easier, and it's very European.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on March 12, 2012, 06:48:59 PM
Quote
I could use some help calibrating my victories.  They seem.... off.

Try switching to metric sex.  The calibration is easier, and it's very European.

Excellent idea!

Now I won't have to click the link offered in that spam!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 12, 2012, 06:50:03 PM
Well, I'm not entirely happy to have solved your sexual problems, but I'm glad to have helped you avoid a scam.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on March 12, 2012, 06:51:17 PM
Hey, "intimate" doesn't necessarily always mean sexual.  And victories regularly need calibration, intimate or not.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 12, 2012, 06:57:29 PM
:lol:

Regardless, I am bitter as a Vogon captain.  The milk of human kindness has gone off, and my face is on the back of the container.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 14, 2012, 09:41:08 PM
Sender:  Mariah
Subject:  i am the sex like the bumble


Bzzzzzzz.

Or maybe they mean like in the Rudolph special.  She's bouncy.  And hairy.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 14, 2012, 10:04:36 PM
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee?

After all, Nelly (Furtado) was like a bird.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on March 15, 2012, 08:38:59 AM
Sender:  Mariah
Subject:  i am the sex like the bumble


Bzzzzzzz.

Or maybe they mean like in the Rudolph special.  She's bouncy.  And hairy.

It would have been with a capital B then, no?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 15, 2012, 09:59:23 AM
Should have been.  So should that "I".  :shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 16, 2012, 02:25:28 PM
Quote
From:    Tim Platt <dewill@germany.ru>
   Subject:    Ben Affleck sells my mad budy..
   Date:    March 16, 2012 12:21:45 PM PDT
   To:    Me
   Reply-To:    Tim Platt <dewill@germany.ru>
 
Hey, be sure you are alone!!

http://optimal-solutions.ru/Lilia

Tim Platt

Really want to click that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on March 16, 2012, 02:35:39 PM
v1a6ra
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on March 19, 2012, 12:10:00 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Talix on March 19, 2012, 10:35:06 AM
I love this thread.   :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on March 19, 2012, 06:21:07 PM
Quote
Andrea, Get divorce help now!

Your marriage is over, your life isn't!


 :confused:

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on March 19, 2012, 06:23:08 PM
Also:

Quote
            
From: Lonely Cheating Wives

Find A Lonely Wife, andrea
            

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 19, 2012, 06:23:57 PM
:hmm:



edit:  Although if they're lonely and cheating, they need to rethink their strategies.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 19, 2012, 08:46:30 PM
Andrea is an Italian boy's name. Maybe your spammers are ... Albanians or something.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on March 20, 2012, 12:04:21 PM
Quote
From:    Tim Platt <dewill@germany.ru>
   Subject:    Ben Affleck sells my mad budy..
   Date:    March 16, 2012 12:21:45 PM PDT
   To:    Me
   Reply-To:    Tim Platt <dewill@germany.ru>
 
Hey, be sure you are alone!!

http://optimal-solutions.ru/Lilia

Tim Platt

Really want to click that.

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY BABY???!!!1
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 20, 2012, 01:08:51 PM
I never clicked.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 30, 2012, 04:39:16 PM
Sender: New Best Friend
Subject:  Visit SockBlocked , Porn With Socks In The Way


Wh . . . what?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on March 30, 2012, 04:58:01 PM
That argyle video was pretty amusing, I have to admit.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 30, 2012, 05:05:20 PM
Socks, Bugs, and Ham Hock on Roll.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on March 30, 2012, 05:07:02 PM
$5 dollar foot long?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 30, 2012, 06:21:36 PM
:rollin:

You guys are killing me.  But I can't be bothered to google that site to see if it's real or what.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on April 02, 2012, 08:38:44 AM
Quote from: viagra?
they are probably all asleep. You, Cloridan, will be able to say for me,
 if I should die in the adventure, that gratitude and fidelity to my prince
  were my inducements." Cloridan was both surprised and touched with this proof
  of the young man's devotion. He loved him tenderly, and tried for a long
 time every effort to dissuade him from his design; but he found Medoro determined
  to accomplish his object or die in the endeavor. Cloridan, unable to change
  his purpose, said, "I will go with you, Medoro, and help you in this generous
  enterprise. I value not life compared with honor, and if I did, do you suppose,
  dear friend, that I could live without you? I would rather fall by the arms
  of our enemies than die of grief for the loss of you." accepted the terms,
  and proposed that they should at once repair to the abbey of Vallombrosa,
  whose towers were visible at no great distance. Thither they turned their
  horses' heads, and we will leave them to find their way without our company.
  I know not if my readers recollect that at the moment when Rogero had just
  delivered Angelica from the voracious Orc that scornful beauty placed her
  ring in her mouth, and vanished out of sight. At the same time the Hippogriff
  shook off his bridle, soared away, and flew to rejoin his former master,
 very naturally returning to his accustomed stable. Here Astolpho found him,
  to his very great delight. He knew the animal's powers, having seen Rogero
  ride him, and he longed to fly abroad over all the earth, and see various
  nations and peoples from his airy course. He had heard Logestilla's directions
  how to guide the animal, and saw her fit a bridle to his head. He therefore
  was able, of horses, and the menacing voices of armed men. Soon he perceived
  Medoro, on foot, with the cavaliers surrounding him. Zerbino, their commander,
  bade them seize him. The unhappy Medoro turned now this way, now that, trying
  to conceal himself behind an oak or a rock, still bearing the body, which
  he would by no means leave. Cloridan not knowing how to help him,

:hmm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 02, 2012, 03:36:47 PM
Fanfic about Cloridan [tm] from Bayer Pharmaceuticals?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on April 02, 2012, 07:24:01 PM
No, as it turns out it was an excerpt from Orlando Furioso by Ludovico Ariosto, published in 1516.

Quote from: wikipedia
The poem, a continuation of Matteo Maria Boiardo's Orlando Innamorato, describes the adventures of Charlemagne, Orlando, and the Franks as they battle against the Saracens with diversions into many sideplots. Ariosto composed the poem in the ottava rima rhyme scheme and introduced narrative commentary throughout the work.

It's pretty ... esoteric for spam.

On the other hand, copyright's expired, so, it's free!

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 02, 2012, 08:08:37 PM
Bot's got lit.

The Song of Roland, in various forms, has some awesome.  Bradamante is a major-league female badass like you rarely see in Western literature.  She's one of Charles's knights, and she falls in love with a Saracen knight because even though he's a bad guy, he's just such a perfect example of knighthood.  But their romance is difficult.

She does things like charge through armies, lopping off heads and casually batting lances aside, so she can tell him she's pissed that she heard he was sleeping with some other chick.  She also kills giants and dragons and whatnot, defeats wizards, the whole deal.

I'm no expert on any of that stuff, though, and I sure don't remember 'Cloridan'.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on April 02, 2012, 11:59:38 PM
Well Bradamante is in Orlando Furioso too, but I think the ... book ... has more characters in it than a Neal Stephenson novel.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 03, 2012, 07:09:46 AM
Different book, same(ish) story -- Orlando Furioso = Angry Roland.  Similar to all the King Arthur riffs.

I've never read Orlando Furioso, just little bits, as medieval epic poems translated from the Italian often lose a bit unless you've acquired a lot of art beforehand, which I have not.  I've read some modern treatments of parts of it, though.  It's a rich vein.  And Dore did famous illustrations for it that are, of course, kickass.

According to Wikipedia, Orlando Furioso includes trips to Japan and the moon (!), and the "orc" in question is a sea monster.  :trance:  Sounds like a D&D game that got kind of florid.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 05, 2012, 10:22:38 PM
Sender:  Cori Rain
Subject:  Watch me eat macaroni!


Um . . . no?  No.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on April 05, 2012, 10:45:53 PM
Sender:  Cori Rain
Subject:  Watch me eat macaroni!


Um . . . no?  No.

I'm going to go ahead and call Rule 34 on this one.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on April 05, 2012, 11:05:59 PM
Sender:  Cori Rain
Subject:  Watch me eat macaroni!


Um . . . no?  No.

Made me think of Excuse me while I Interorectogestate... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmNeO63xCnU)

Why?  :cry:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 06, 2012, 07:37:02 AM
:lol:  It's entirely possible that it Means Something, and it's entirely possible that I don't want to know about it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on April 06, 2012, 12:03:20 PM
Sender:  Cori Rain
Subject:  Watch me eat macaroni!


Um . . . no?  No.

I'm going to go ahead and call Rule 34 on this one.

Now who would name their kid Macaroni?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 06, 2012, 12:07:05 PM
Yankee Doodle?


Actually, today we had a credit card from a kid named Bradon Brandon something-or-other, so I could totally believe he had a sister named Macaroni.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 18, 2012, 07:38:29 PM
Sender: Mariaa
Subject:  why have you not done that thing to my supter bussy?


Gotta be honest, I'm not even sure what you're asking.  But I may adopt the phrase "supter bussy" to torment cow-orkers with.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on April 18, 2012, 08:10:32 PM
I saw a chick get kicked right in the supter bussy once.  She was NOT pleased.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 18, 2012, 08:15:45 PM
I might've seen that happen.  I'm honestly not sure.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 20, 2012, 09:35:07 AM
Sender:  Juliana Smooter
Subject:  Clooney bumps me


Well, I guess I'm happy for you, then, Ms Smooter.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on April 20, 2012, 12:38:36 PM
Spam, or yet another mis-sent email?

Quote
Bonjour,

Je ne pourrai malheureusement pas assister au cours de ce soir en raison de la représentation de la pièce de théâtre de l'Ecole de Droit au même moment.
Je vous remercie pour votre compréhension.
Bonne journée et à la semaine prochaine.
Nicolaa
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 20, 2012, 01:31:35 PM
Looks like it went to the wrong address, so probably it's cryptoporn.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on April 20, 2012, 01:41:10 PM
CRYPTOPORN

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 22, 2012, 02:28:25 PM
Sender:  Tony WetWet
Subject:  Did you do this to my face?

Quote
When your boots forcipressure my loculus filled biconjugate liason, I got really wet.  I hope we can meet again soon!


What can I say?  These boots were made for forcipressure, and that's what they're gonna do.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on April 22, 2012, 02:41:27 PM
... and one of these days these boots are gonna forcipressure all over you?

/airport
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 22, 2012, 03:46:30 PM
All over her loculus-filled biconjugate liaison, anyway.  If you know what I mean.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on April 22, 2012, 04:37:15 PM
And I think you do.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on April 22, 2012, 07:37:18 PM
loculus-filled biconjugate liaison

Soylent Haggis album?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 23, 2012, 08:29:42 AM
Sender:  Maya Foreigner
Subject:  sommersprogkurser hele hjemmesiden my ass tonight?


The internet says "sommersprogkurser hele hjemmesiden" means "summer language courses available throughout the site".  Perhaps she means the language of love?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on April 23, 2012, 12:10:29 PM
Subject: Ass rimming the easy way
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on April 25, 2012, 11:10:39 AM
Subject:   
     hi
    
From:   
my_sexy_feeding_tube@yahoo.com   (Add as Preferred Sender)   
Date:   Sun, Jan 13, 2002 2:29 am
To:   perry@perrydrake.com

where have you been hun change your life now http://edcation.net/searchresult-g.php?CS=aHR0cDovL2NuYmM4OC5jb20vbmEv== let me know how it goes

 :uncertain:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 01, 2012, 01:50:58 PM
Quote from: damfino
Content preview:  http://cvwdfdr.tab-secure.ru things jaded strong liked serving
  abide whereof discharge frolic vouched praegustators into mondam another
 equal giving swear long appearance friends pretty attain arch viz jaws precept
  trudgepig reward quoth tail lie advice archetype pompeius son angry beautiful
  fright rushlights discontented famous onirocrit than found tyrannical the
  archer deeds bona rid heat translating his benefit busied presidents medoc
  leadeth creeks cuckolds compare whims bottle jaws private secondly bear.
 counselled tub herbstinking coupled affection size nail thrice access ingenious
  meantime hangs fresh wonderfully wish genius rods assistance learning greek
  thick thrice trippa sertorian very outrage envy while repentance comminations
  undertakings time recall france answered disperst doth them vouched familiarity
  anything ayl just always summoners beggar departure sultanas maketh crescit
  miller marriage camillus bou bells property saint consulted throughout pieces
  jousseaume mean bully. examinations enemy strong maxent labour leaves mattocks
  invincible ordinary enforce hidden mother going imagine cause yoke bread
 prime teeth metals secured counselleth rustical believe lance ordinary fart
  miller branch kingdoms cod deeds metal starlings trademark pack times hint
  fly mischievous soldiers capacity but should steadable counsellors stern
 fasting enjoy pharaoh maintenance attendants pulling solon tiles short enormous
  expugnatory unhappy mysterious heart hands game. hyaena project geoffrey
 hoarded friend feeders fruitfulfor real had terror amycleans fesse von depend
  athwart disorderly behind caesar pincase closeshaved papali stand miracle
  having awake prove ventricle monachal abc doing put spiritual lusty white
  comminations enjoy whereby revenging answer traveller keeps queen like sun
  inward business orkney icthiomancy dangerous stern full. mine pincase trades
  mare well hazard belongs ravel floating shaken bowls translating ship poppies
  sultanas paying curds whether horrible officers trouil these circumcentral
  reading inquiring anchovy archer [...]

All I know is, I'm not clicking there
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 01, 2012, 02:36:40 PM
:trance:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on May 01, 2012, 05:28:22 PM
Several potential band names in there.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on May 01, 2012, 06:00:09 PM
Several potential band names in there.

Man, no kiddin'.

Dangerous Stern Full
Genius Rods
Behind Caesar
Trudgepig
Pharaoh Maintenance  :lol:
Short Enormous
Queen Like Sun
Horrible Officers
Anchovy Archer



.... just to name a few!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 01, 2012, 09:05:55 PM
Archetype Pompeius!

Math-rock metal. Kind of like Protest the Hero (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWDrdAJMcRs&feature=plcp).
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on May 09, 2012, 08:30:31 PM
Sender: Can I Confide In You? (hp12@yahoo.com)
Subject: With Due Respect ASP

Quote
Hello,



Compliment To You.



In my banking department i discovered an abandoned sum of 20,000,000.00 Eur (twenty Million Eur Only) in an account
that belongs to one of our Foreign customers who unfortunately lost his life with his entire family on his way to the
Airport malaga road.



Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin or relatives to come over and claim
his funds because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as Next of kin or relation
to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines.



I want you to come in as the Next Of Kin, all needed cooperation to make the claims will be given to you by me.
If you are interested kindly let me have the below informations and I will give you more details.



1. Full name

2: Your private telephone and

3.Fax numbers.


4, Present Location



I am offering 55% of the total sum to you as my partner.



We will discuss much in details when I receive your response.



Thanks and good luck to us.



Best regards,

BEST REGARDS WHO!???????

If I don't know who this is from, I'm not giving them my contact info.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 10, 2012, 06:18:38 PM
Sender:  Nudes You Need
Subject:  We Bet You Haven't Seen The Naked Form Of Miss Mrumrumrumrudu


It seems like a safe bet.  Unless she also poses under another name.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on May 10, 2012, 06:42:42 PM
(http://ogdenpioneerdays.com/images/QueenMRU.jpg)

Eh, I could take it or leave it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 10, 2012, 06:54:39 PM
:lol:



Also, I am SO not a fan of the insane eyeliner look or the heavy lipstick look.  The more makeup you have on, the more expert it needs to be (if you don't want it to look theatrical), and this is particularly the case with makeup that exaggerates a feature.  Lipstick way outside the mouth area or that looks like you've been eating Vaseline . . . I don't get it.  And she looks like she got pranked with ink on her binoculars.

Well, I'm sure I'm not the target audience.  :shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on May 10, 2012, 07:03:38 PM
"Homer, you have it set on 'WHORE'!"

(http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z27/Fluffytits/makeupgun.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 21, 2012, 09:28:29 AM
Sender:  smoldering whore
Subject:  JUBjubJUBjubJUBjub


You had me, and you lost me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 24, 2012, 04:07:02 PM
Sender:  melissa tunk
Subject:  MY GOD IS A BUCKET IN THE WATER


OK . . . .
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on May 25, 2012, 02:08:06 AM
Quote
SUBJECT: OPPORTUNITY ONLY FOR THE LIVING

(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-6Yi7yynD8tA/T78vnAKs85I/AAAAAAAAAZ8/aj_32CO1g7k/s450/notdeadyet.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on May 25, 2012, 10:15:21 AM
:) Good answer!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on June 01, 2012, 11:14:47 PM
Interesting: On my blog, hosted by Blogger, the last 3 times I've mentioned the town of Granite Falls, I get spam comments for granite countertops.

Quote
I have found a lot of useful information from this platform. Awesome site. Thanks for sharing.

Are you interested to know about [link]

Quote
I’m strongly associated with this site. As this site has inspired me a lot always in a new way and made my work easy by every time I’ll visit your site and highlighting on the new issue.

Are you interested to know about [link]

They all go back to a company in Florida that seems legitimate.  :whatever:

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on June 01, 2012, 11:18:29 PM
I send them a terse email; I'm tempted to actually call them and bitch them out. I don't know if it will do any good...

I did some reading and technically it can be argued that comment spam, on blogs and places like Facebook, is covered under the CAN-SPAM act of 2003.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on June 04, 2012, 08:53:45 PM
Just received as a comment on one of my blog posts:

Quote
Hi there!!! They do report feeling more tired in the beginning. Here are the side effects of this drug (remember these are possible side effects): indigestion, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea or constipation, dizziness, and can be toxic to the liver. The 3 things I think you need to know are: .generic cheap!!!! Bye.. ____________________________ <a>pill generic[/url]

WHAT DRUG?????
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 04, 2012, 09:20:02 PM
Another apparent side effect is Failing To List All Three Things.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 09, 2012, 10:26:05 AM
Sender:  corina blue
Subject:  High Quality Replica Global Earth



:hmm:  But where would I keep it?  I don't have enough closet space as it is.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on June 09, 2012, 11:26:30 AM
It's probably scaled down, and they just don't tell you that, and then by the time you've ordered it and it's delivered they've cut off their phone and email and moved on to the next scam.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on June 09, 2012, 03:30:09 PM
It's probably scaled down, and they just don't tell you that, and then by the time you've ordered it and it's delivered they've cut off their phone and email and moved on to the next scam.
Mars?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 24, 2012, 02:37:02 PM
Sender:  Sam Institute LLC
Subject:  COACHING LABORAL SEX HAVE SOME
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on June 24, 2012, 03:00:01 PM
(http://techhampton.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/egon.jpg)
Yes, have some.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 24, 2012, 03:13:40 PM
I haven't decided what "laboral sex" probably is.  Could be something good, could be something bad.




Also, I quote Egon saying that ALL THE TIME, but only my brother ever gets the reference.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 05, 2012, 10:29:11 AM
OK, so, in my Hotmail account, I got these messages, which are funnier if presented as they appeared in the folder's list of incoming mail:

Sender              Subject

Newsletter          newsletter
Newsletter          newsletter
Newsletter          newsletter
Newsletter          nwsltter
Newsletter          oh fuck


:lol:  :shrug:

The actual reported sender is thecfwa[dot]org, which is apparently an Alabama charitable organization with poor security.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 05, 2012, 10:38:48 AM
:galm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 05, 2012, 10:45:44 AM
I'm at a loss as to how that happened.  I'm guessing it must be by design.

I'm kind of sorry now that I didn't open any of them.  But only kind of.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 05, 2012, 10:01:53 PM
Visited Cracked using Chrome today because I've been checking Chrome out a bit to see if I like it.  Seems only fair.  Results were mixed.

But there were pop-up ads, which I'd never seen with Opera.  The most frequent one was this gem:

Quote
Muscle Milk - 25 grams of protein so you can ball, recover, then ball harder.

So many levels of ewwww, starting with one of the most revolting product names of all time.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on July 06, 2012, 02:32:56 PM
So the best thing that's happened (ok, not really, and it's by far not the worst, but still): my mom's email was hacked and sent out some spam to the entire email address book... 1 week after she died. Awesome. The subject was like, "Re: Hi Friend!" or something.

I was like ....!??! I mean, I knew immediately it was spam, but who knows what other people thought. My brother had to go to the house and LUCKILY my mom had all of her passwords in a convenient location, so he was able to change the email password. Message from beyond telling us to use a cool new website for our job searches? Not likely.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on July 14, 2012, 03:11:53 AM
I keep getting these:

Quote
Is your bra uncomfortable or painful? Shop for a bra that fits right.

Thank for reminding me.  :eyeroll:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on July 30, 2012, 12:10:25 PM
Public Networking
The Office of Secular God
Breaking Instruction
 
To universalize Presidency in USA nation and international relations by means of installing the Prime minister instead. Remains only to see how this fits into the global-universal-divine picture.

Hi peers of generations,

We have the fall election on Nov. 6, for the office of president of USA.

You can’t find a proper, viable, electable, credible and satisfactory candidate for President.

I can not find convenient candidate to co-run with me as a Secular God.

So, I interpolated a solution for this moment of history.

My invention and proposition is 13 years old virtual girl named Witsie.

You can visit Witsie’s blog and sign there ipetition for her:

On her blog at:
*cut*
On my blog:
*cut*
You can sign petition for her also directly on:

Visit artistic view on Witsie at:

More about this paradigm on:

This intervention I am doing to satisfy moral side of the history.

We are all interested in USA fate. America has great impact in world and universe. But they are nailed to the traditional nationalism. They don’t allow kids and minors to vote or to run for president. Foreigners are excluded from presidential process too. Incumbency is favoured all over USA.

So, until we find an electable viable credible real being candidate, we can run unofficially online election with virtual entities backed by real beings. Our duty is to take the presidency out of hands of the politicians and bring it back to: “We the People!” and “I the God!”.

As for now, we have only Witsie in competition online but you can file your candidates too.

I resurrected Xarixan again to be contestant with Witsie on virtual-moral side of this aim.

Make a virtual entity and a programme and we shall register it as such. Then we shall start a petition at ipetition.com. On the fall election we shall see where we are and while Americans will vote for their national president of USA on the ground, we all shall vote for universal-divine-global-international president Prime minister of USA. Still, Witsie may win on both competitions. And, really, I think she is leading on moral and public networking side, supported by Xarixan’s technology. Media run another picture exclusively on the side of the technology. Witsie has instinct supported by intuition of a secular god Zikalkis, what brings a historical land-slide victory. What you can do in this intervention is:

-        You can sign ipetition and leave comment for Witsie embedded on my blogs or directly sign on link.

-        You can create another virtual entity that is in your view the most ideal. Then inform me and us so we can sign ipetition for it and participate in the campaign.

-        You can pledge your state signatures to me in case a real candidate emerges. Then we could gather them fast and efficiently.

-        You can ask kids of any age around to join this competition online, to sign ipetition, or to participate either with their a virtual entity or as a real being themselves so that they gain some experience for the future life.

Bye …. Zikalkis.

Note: …. I know that this is a question of the mentality of the acceptance, but I hope that two sides, media and public networking, technology and morality, can blend together. This require our public networking names to be created.

Witsie; …. Hey Zik, I have some echoes, they are afraid of me, because I am not afraid of them. They suppose that I may bring genocide and civil war. Virtuals and girls are insensitive and bold. You have to give the people a firm guarantee that I will be constrained in my decisions making.

If I am elected I might call 70 million members of established political parties on accountability to pay their part of debts. Domination, taxation, ugliness, injustices, unfairness etc. may lead us to civil war and global wars.

Xarixan; …. Don’t you worry Witsie, Zikalkis’ intuition and my moral technology filters will be always near your activities. Executive Prime Secretary will have to use some political solutions to appease such claims and war pushers. Hitler and Mussolini were socialists then turned nationalists as we the Americans were patriots then turned nationalists. It is due to stepping on the international scene where our existence becomes worried of threats around us. I shall explain you the ways of how civil war and genocide conditions arise so that you can avoid it.

 
Zikalkis; …. I see you both develop fast and grow good. We will concord and accord all approaches to cause as less harm to this civilization as possible. I am afraid of being scared. Audacity please.
 
--
we are all fans of our fantastic being
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on July 30, 2012, 01:05:34 PM
It's a coded message, right?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on July 30, 2012, 02:04:05 PM
I can't figure out if Witsie is an actual 13-year-old girl or a sentient computer program.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on July 30, 2012, 03:05:02 PM
She can't be president if she's hasn't been in the US 14 years, so it's moot either way. I wouldn't want to try and argue if a program is a "natural born citizen".
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 30, 2012, 03:39:35 PM
I have relatives like whoever wrote that.  I don't know if I have relatives like Witsie, but I can't rule it out.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on July 30, 2012, 04:15:06 PM
That's the most creative spam I've seen in a while. A Witsie can be a student of Wit University (http://www.wits.ac.za/) in Johannesburg. 

The word "Zikalkis" leads here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/zikalkis/

"Xarixan" leads here:

http://zikalkis64zikalkis.blogspot(DOT)com/ Is that the link in the email?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on July 30, 2012, 04:42:54 PM
No!  There is a 64witsiewenders.blogspot[dot]com, though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 30, 2012, 06:52:23 PM
:lol:

So this Means Something.

I am presently full of meaning, though, and not looking to pick up new life-changing philosophies.  Life-changing money, perhaps.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on August 11, 2012, 07:08:38 PM
Quote
CUSTORMER CARE inter.pol888@gmail[dot]com via yahoo[dot]com

Dear E-mail Account Owner,

This message comes from your (EMAIL SERVICE PROVIDER) messaging admin center to All E-mail Account owners. We are currently improving our Database and E-mail Account Center and creating more certainty for our Legal Service clients. At this moment we are upgrading our data base so that there will be more space for new customers and increasing the surf on the Internet. To prevent your Email address not to be DE-activated and to enable it upgraded, you need to assist us by sending the information below to enable us upgrade it, so that your email account status were flect in our database as a very active, useful and legal email account.Do send to us the below information to enable us upgrade your Account, else your email account will lost in a short time.

First Name:
Last Name:
Date of Birth:
Email Address:
E-mail pass word:
Alternative Email:

WARNING!!! E-MAIL OWNERS who refuses to upgrade his or her account within Five days after notification of this update will permanently be deleted from our data base and can also lead to malfunctioning of the client or user's account and we will not be responsible for loosing our account.

Thanks for your understanding as it is geared towards serving you better.

Web-mail Support Team

Warning Code: ID67565434.

Nice work. Not.  :eyeroll:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on August 11, 2012, 07:50:16 PM
Quote
increasing the surf on the Internet

 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 11, 2012, 08:07:40 PM
Oh indeed. Dangerous rip currents out there, and ... rogue waves.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on August 14, 2012, 12:33:50 PM
They had some pretty cool rip at Capitola yesterday evening.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on August 23, 2012, 12:45:48 AM
This made it through the bit0 email filters.  From "Your UPS"
Uhh, okay. There was a link to something like Rwanda or whatever. Looked legit.  :rolleyes:

"If she does it against his will, she will have to wait three years for her
money.Three years--! Roy, she wouldnt be happy three weeks! Mr. Carter spoke to
me about it the only time weve spoken of you. He said that he was glad the
affair had ended naturally; that you were not the man to make Nina happy, and
that he would rather have her suffer anything, and find out her mistake at once,
than have her heart broken, and her money wasted, through several wretched
years! I count on you to be my advocate, my dear Harriet, he said, after a
moments silence. Richard Carter believes in you; he has great faith in your
judgment. If you represent to him that you believe this to be a wise step all
round, we shall have no further trouble-- Cant you? Blondin said. He looked
across the open hallway to Nina, descending in fresh ruffles and ribbons, and
raised his voice. Here she is--looking like the very rose of girls! Come on now,
Nina, you arent going to belong to anybody else but me for a while! he said.

Then from infinite distance Jims understanding returned; the mind emerged, but
not wholly, from the chaos in which it was travelling.His eyes stood out in
eagerness. Quick, the broth! said Sewell to the factor, who had been preparing
it. Quick, while theres a chance. He stooped and called into Jims ear: For the
love of God, wake up, sir. Theyre coming--theyre both coming--Nancys coming.
Theyll soon be here. What matter that he lied, a life was at stake. Jims eyes
opened again. The doctor was standing with the brandy in his hand. Half madly
Jim reached out. I must live until they come, he cried; the brandy--give it me!
Give it--ah, no, no, I must not! he added, gasping, his lips trembling, his
hands shaking. Have you nothing else, sir? asked Sewell in despair.

The commandment is given to all the churches to read the Litany daily for the
prosperity of the Prince in his enterprise.John Giles to Walsingham, 4 Dec.
1587. (S. P. Office MS. ) Sir William Russet wrote also from Flushing concerning
these preparations in much the same strain; but it is worthy of note that he
considered Farnese to be rather intending a movement against France. The Prince
of Parma, he said, is making great preparations for war, and with all expedition
means to march a great army, and for a triumph, the coats and costly, apparel
for his own body doth exceed for embroidery, and beset with jewels; for all the
embroiderers and diamond-cutters work both night and day, such haste is made.
Five hundred velvet coats of one sort for lances, and a great number of brave
new coats made for horsemen; 30,000 men are ready, and gather in Brabant and
Flanders."
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 23, 2012, 09:04:34 AM
Tough going but in the end it reads better than Jonathan Franzen.

:bolt:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on August 24, 2012, 04:56:21 PM
Facebook spam!

Hello Sunshine , Just saw your beautiful profile pic and you look rather ravishing .. How can any man ever resist such beauty ? I know i cant and i am not ashamed to admit it cos only a blind man would be able to resist you ... I humbly and gladly allow myself be enchanted by your awesome beauty ....

Please , May i have the honor of getting to know this Sunshine better and perhaps try to be the one whom would make her smile at all times ...

Sorry for coming out strong if i did ... I just want to get to know you
badly .. You are amazingly beautiful to me ...

Hugs


David


Um.  My profile pic is an extreme close-up of my non-makeuped face, with a weird expression, and I'm wearing a fuzzy horned helmet.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on August 24, 2012, 07:12:28 PM
*goes to look*


Hey.  I kind of like that pic of you.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on August 24, 2012, 08:22:48 PM
But would you say it was "ravishing"?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 24, 2012, 08:57:35 PM
The helmet could suggest you were in the act of ravishing.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on August 24, 2012, 10:03:37 PM
But would you say it was "ravishing"?

There isn't much I tend to refer to as "ravishing".  "Beautiful" still applies though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on August 25, 2012, 08:19:19 AM
Dave's not here man.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 07, 2012, 07:53:27 AM
Sender:  MelissaB
Subject:  the teen kitty canal sex you wanted

:nonplused:

I don't know, and I don't wanna know.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 08, 2012, 07:22:38 AM
Sender:  Red Man Moist Snuff
Subject:  Fresh young special stuff


That's probably about tobacco, but it sounds much worse.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on September 10, 2012, 12:31:21 PM
Quote
*Femela Vigara - 1.30$

*Professional Pack - 3.33$

*Famyli Pakc - 2.18$

*Cilais - 1.61$

*Levtira - 1.63$

*Vigara - 0.66$
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 10, 2012, 07:10:33 PM
I guess only professionals spell correctly.



Sender:  THE Remover
Subject:  Remove Unwanted Skin At Home!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on September 10, 2012, 07:32:10 PM
 :uncertain:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 12, 2012, 10:11:15 PM
Sender:  onlybatteries.com
Subject:  The L1131 Battery Sale - "We Don't Just Sell L1131 Batteries We Sell L1131 Button Batteries Now"


Uh-huh.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 13, 2012, 08:48:59 AM
Sender:  Arezu Pazuzu Benjamin Azupazu
Subject:  Immediate Payment of you uncle Inheritance


That is one dynamite name-generator you've got there.  Very convincing. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 13, 2012, 10:33:00 AM
you inherited an uncle?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 13, 2012, 12:20:48 PM
There's a black market in uncles? I wonder how much I'd be worth selling myself that way...  :batteyes:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on September 17, 2012, 06:07:25 PM
Quote
The reason for my contacting you is that I checked and found out that the
deposit is still intact and nobody has asked for it, and I know that nobody
will ever ask for it, I am the only living soul who knows the true identity
of the depositor, no other person can retrieve the deposit except the person
can produce the codes combination which was given to the depositor, the way we
operate is that if the depositor wants to retrieve his deposit, he will
instruct the company in writing and give his codes and if the manager
confirms the code, the deposit will be released at once to the person, no name or
identification is needed.

If you accept to work with me, I will give you the instruction letter to
send to my company and also when the company asks for the codes, I will give them
to you.

My Best regards.
Mr. Peter Murphy

Well, if I was going to fall for any scam, it would definitely involve the Godfather of Goth.

(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzm1pe3eUe1r7nippo1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on September 19, 2012, 03:36:00 PM
FROM: Enlargement supplement Free trials 
Subject: Michelle Obama shows her warmer side

Your nightly activities are set to get wilder

http:// huugestick . com/
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 19, 2012, 04:14:16 PM
That's even warmer than I would have expected.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 19, 2012, 09:22:59 PM
Sender:  Emma Nuder
Subject:  sexy pilaf in blonde wading boots now


What, right now?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on September 20, 2012, 01:21:44 AM
What's a sexy pilaf?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on September 20, 2012, 01:22:51 AM
Shape it like one of those naked lady cakes or something maybe.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 20, 2012, 09:25:03 AM
We had rice pilaf (of a sort) in school lunches all the time, and for years as a kid I thought "pilaf" meant "served with an ice cream scoop so it makes a little igloo shape on your plate".
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on September 20, 2012, 10:02:08 AM
"Nuder".... than what, exactly????   :confused:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on September 20, 2012, 11:47:09 AM
Doesn't nuder mean skinless?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on October 15, 2012, 06:14:34 PM
Subject: Get a clearance now!

That would have been perfect about four hours earlier, when the OPM investigator for my clearance was here.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 15, 2012, 06:27:47 PM
Oooh, gonna be Top Secret?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on October 16, 2012, 11:06:24 AM
I wasn't told the name of this one - I'll wait for it to show up in my personnel folder. It all seems sort of silly, considering that most of my job is getting data in the hands of as many people as possible in ways they can use it effectively.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 16, 2012, 01:46:30 PM
most of my job is getting data in the hands of as many people as possible in ways they can use it effectively.

Which is anathema to the National Security State, so they have to take care that you are the right person before they let you see the secrets.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 20, 2012, 11:37:27 AM
At the work email:

Sender:  Garrett Cano
Subject:  Hi

good day asshole! How are your children?




Um . . . are you selling something?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on October 22, 2012, 11:21:52 PM
i feel so special.

Perry --

This is in your hands now.

Chip in $5 or more, and let's go win:

https://donate.barackobama.com/Tonight

Thanks,

Barack
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on October 23, 2012, 04:32:39 PM
That bastard spams me all the time too.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 30, 2012, 05:42:28 PM
Sender:  Skyfall Master J
Subject:  You should come to the Post Office to view Wikipedia



Seems legit.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 01, 2012, 09:49:02 AM
Sender:  Amazon.comm
Subject:  Everything FREE For Life! Limited time only



Seems legit.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Hedaira on November 01, 2012, 01:29:55 PM
Trap. They assassinate you after the limited time expires.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 01, 2012, 03:05:32 PM
Joke's on them, mang.  When everything's free to me, I'll buy the conspirators and their assassins as well.  I'll just place an order for "everything".
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on November 17, 2012, 06:44:07 PM
Quote
andreamiller67, Be the man you used to be, guaranteed.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on November 17, 2012, 06:47:15 PM
GUARANTEED!!!!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on November 20, 2012, 01:29:19 AM
this upsets me more than it should.

Senior Living

Senior products and discounts

Maintain independence in a senior living facility.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on November 20, 2012, 09:41:26 AM
tell me about it
 plus you need a special high-powered shredder for the AARP packages
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on November 20, 2012, 11:58:17 AM
Just how much kindling do they think I need, anyways?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on November 30, 2012, 03:50:11 AM
not exactly spam, just a chat message i go on fookbook.

Quote
Sydney Martin
I+will+mail+you+a+few+of+my+pictures+however+your+email+to+email+them+soon+or+a+mobile+would+work
Thursday

12:14am
Sydney Martin
I relaly is hroney so I setup a proifle checokut http://www.raed-myvideoz.com/profile.php?2b4j8 cuold sgin in sohw u are oevr 18

you'd think they'd at least use google translate. even babel fish was better than that 5 years ago.

maybe it's just some code the kids use these days i don't understand.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: phyre on November 30, 2012, 11:19:07 AM
I know that email spam filters look for certain words or combinations of words, maybe FB has been filtering in the same way so they had to intentionally misspell some words to get through.

Or maybe FB does no filtering at all, and they decided to play it safe by doing the same thing they do in their regular email spamming. Who knows.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on November 30, 2012, 01:21:26 PM
/me thinks to self, "self, Phyre seems to know a lot about how to spam"  :hmm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: phyre on November 30, 2012, 02:41:21 PM
Yeah, a little too much spammage came my way when I was transitioning morningphyre.com to a new host; several years ago. Had to learn about some of the background stuff, including a tool called... SpamBlaster? no, that's probably wrong. It was some popular open-source tool at the time, no doubt still is. I eventually eliminated my spam by migrating my primary email account to Gmail; I still use morningphyre.com email, but Gmail provides the backend services. It's awful nice, not having to worry about the nitty-gritty stuff.

Edit: Now I remember, it was SpamAssassin (http://spamassassin.apache.org/). Still alive and kicking indeed.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on November 30, 2012, 06:12:14 PM
Yeah, you're not a spammer, right  ;)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 30, 2012, 07:38:24 PM
I've explicitly told Hotmail about a dozen times that mail from Facebook is spam.  Hotmail still routes anything with "facebook" in the sender to my Inbox. 

I assume Facebook pays MS for this service, but who knows?  Hotmail insists on sending anything from Buy.com or Newegg to my spam folder, but it lets spam from Amazon and fake-Amazon through.  BUT then Hotmail just keeps getting shittier and shittier.  It no longer lets you open emails in new tabs, for instance.  If you try, each tab gets the Inbox instead.  VERY HELPFUL.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on November 30, 2012, 07:40:29 PM
Gmail lets almost no spam through, yahoo lets a ton through.  Work has Postini which lets almost none through.   I never really did hotmail.

I wonder how much goatsemail will let through...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 03, 2012, 01:59:49 AM
Quote from: spam
From:    Mr. John Holmes <ultplan@ethionet.et>
   Subject:    Business Relationship
   Date:    December 2, 2012 5:50:30 AM PST

I ... didn't read it. Nope.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 03, 2012, 11:07:30 PM
Gmail lets almost no spam through, yahoo lets a ton through.  Work has Postini which lets almost none through.   I never really did hotmail.

I wonder how much goatsemail will let through...

I'm sure it's wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 10, 2012, 07:55:26 PM
Sender:  Hannah
Subject:  I control your sexmachine robot now!


Message body was BLANK.  Goddamn it, YOU HAD MY ATTENTION.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 10, 2012, 09:57:03 PM
Oh Hannah. You tease.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 10, 2012, 10:09:17 PM
The women who control my sexmachine robot always lose interest in me eventually, but this is a solid record, I tell you what.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 12, 2012, 08:15:17 PM
Sender:  Hannah
Subject:  I control your sexmachine robot now!


Message body was BLANK.  Goddamn it, YOU HAD MY ATTENTION.

I wish to know more.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 12, 2012, 08:58:28 PM
I'm hoping she just plans further communication by way of my sexmachine robot.

So far, no change that I've noticed.  :thumbsdn:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 12, 2012, 09:07:35 PM
I'm hoping she just plans further communication by way of my sexmachine robot.

So far, no change that I've noticed.  :thumbsdn:

I assume your sexmachine robot has wifi?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 12, 2012, 10:49:13 PM
:shrug:

I usually like my sex like I like my basketball:  one on one with as little dribbling as possible.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 14, 2012, 07:55:54 PM
With as many freethrows as possible?

Fast moving and no fouls?

With a bunch of really tall people?



Pretty sure there's at least three or four rim jokes in there too, but it's been a long day.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 14, 2012, 10:03:27 PM
S'OK, I was just quoting Frank Drebbin, anyway.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 18, 2012, 05:09:56 PM
Sender:  Hermine Chill
Subject:  I just discovered that I always wanted to have an  internet romance

Quote
I'm Hermine.
So, I really don't know from what to start. Maybe from this...
One of my friends showed me ur pictures and I liked them very muchso!
I look for not boring, serious male for for a very long time but there r so many dolts who're just banging and then leaving me, banging me and then leaving me, banging me and then leaving me.
I'm sure u're from their quantity!
So, if you r a good guy then I'm awaiting for your letter.

Maybe go a little lighter on how many dolts are banging you.  I'm just sayin'.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: unclejessie on December 18, 2012, 10:16:41 PM
But the Russian accent is hard to resist, muchso?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 27, 2012, 11:43:14 AM
Sender:  Jessica Friend
Subject:  whats better than a hot date? ANAL IN THE WOODS



Well.  That escalated quickly.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on December 27, 2012, 04:19:31 PM
:spittake:  :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 27, 2012, 04:37:51 PM
I'm getting a bunch of strange ones with the caps lock on.  Maybe from the same source / robot.


Sender:  Dr Technologie
Subject:  I THREATEN YOU TO BUY MY THINGS


Energy level good; patter needs some work.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 27, 2012, 09:14:27 PM
Sender:  Jessica Friend
Subject:  whats better than a hot date? ANAL IN THE WOODS



Well.  That escalated quickly.

 :lol:

What's better than ANAL IN THE WOODS?

ORAL IN THE LIBRARY



EDIT:

This is starting to sound like an Adult/XXX edition of "Clue".

"I've got it! It was Colonel Mustard, with the double-ended dildo, in the conservatory!"
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 27, 2012, 09:47:20 PM
Quote
It was Colonel Mustard, with the double-ended dildo, in the conservatory!

That could still be regular Clue.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on December 27, 2012, 10:48:35 PM
I'll be lee ving now.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 27, 2012, 11:20:25 PM
I'm not sure there was a Conservatory in Clue.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 28, 2012, 01:40:41 AM
But you're sure about the anal?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 28, 2012, 01:41:19 AM
Which reminds me that I once decided to ask Orel Hershiser, if I ever met him if he had a brother named Anel.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on December 28, 2012, 12:29:23 PM
Daddy: Is it true you've been stripped of your rank?

Colonel Angus: Yes! It is. There'll be no more "Colonel Angus", ladies. Call me by my given name.

Miss Anabelle:
Oh, Anal..

Melinda: I so love the sound of "Colonel Angus".. but I guess I could give Anal Angus a try.

Colonel Angus: [ to a passing farm boy ] You there, Boy! ride into town and tell the Postmaster.. that if anyone is looking for Anal Angus.. to come knockin' at the rear entrance.. of Shady Thicket.

Farm Boy: Euuuggghhh..
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 28, 2012, 05:23:03 PM
I couldn't believe they got away with the original version of that.


Reminds me:  In Eat My Dust!, what where I recently reviewed, the town is called Puckerbush, but in a couple of scenes it sure looks like Fuckerbush. 

I laughed.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 04, 2013, 09:15:58 AM
Sender:  Abraham Moose
Subject:  sex was amazing but i cant remember your name


Don't feel too bad, Abe.  I don't remember any of that.



[how drunk was I?]
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 04, 2013, 01:24:21 PM
[how drunk was I?]

I dunno, I passed out /jayne


CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEDDING, AXE
(just don't kiss her)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on January 04, 2013, 02:28:56 PM
[how drunk was I?]

I dunno, I passed out /jayne


CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEDDING, AXE
(just don't kiss her)
*clinks glass with knife*
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 04, 2013, 04:59:34 PM
Plus, I mean, is he now Abraham Axe, or am I now Random Moose?  Maybe we'll just keep our names.  But I'd like to at least know which of us is the top.

I mentioned this at work, and YT opined that if I weren't the top, I'd know it. 

Uh, good point.  Unexpectedly insightful. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on January 04, 2013, 08:37:00 PM
:galm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 04, 2013, 10:12:45 PM
I did ask him how he knew, but he dissembled.  Now that I think of it, if he'd been really clever he'd've said, "Moose f*ckings can be pretty nasty.  A moose once f*cked my sister.  She was carving her initials . . . ."
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on January 08, 2013, 11:20:36 PM
We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles.  Those responsible for sacking Random Axe have been sacked.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on January 08, 2013, 11:37:52 PM
unfortunately voting has ended . . .

(http://outdoorchannel.com/uploadedImages/Microsites/GMA/GMA-880x225.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2013, 01:29:22 PM
Sender:  albezan1dd
Subject:  Joy of Me hi i am attractive woman i'll be happy when i find your penis


An unflattering approach.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on January 13, 2013, 01:37:54 PM
Eureka!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2013, 01:41:33 PM
I just imagine that dialogue as a nightcap on a pretty disheartening blind date.

Although, I guess, still one that ends with sex.  For better or worse.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2013, 10:52:29 PM
Sender:  Your Chelsea
Subject:  I wish I could moonwalk your good dick



Not only am I not sure if that's somehow alluring, I'm not even sure it's supposed to be alluring.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 13, 2013, 11:27:07 PM
I wonder what she'd do to the bad dick
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2013, 11:53:48 PM
The Time Warp?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on January 14, 2013, 03:27:13 PM
The pogo?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 21, 2013, 08:23:56 PM
Sender:  Capt Geo Biffers
Subject:  Greetings from Captain George Biffers you cockface


Alas, it was an ad for replica Bulova watches.  I honestly thought maybe this was a funny email from someone I knew.  Under a pseudonym, I mean.  I don't know a Captain George Biffers.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 22, 2013, 12:34:35 PM
Sender:  Juliet Arroyo LGBT News
Subject:  Momentum Play!

We do get occasional LGBT community newsletters that are relevant to the shop, so I opened this.


Quote
Hi, advised from me that our firm recently sealed a contract to purchase LIBERTY COAL ENERGY CORP (LGBT). This news is not distributed yet, you will reap big coin. My firm is going to buy it for $1.27/share. My corporation craves coal badly, but my firm capable.

You must hustle fast to score profit until it goes out to the street. Purchase $3000 of LGBT on Tuesday, January 22, 2013. It could bring a 1000000 bucks ornight!

Wat.

So, googled for the hell.  Liberty Coal Energy Corporation is real (and develops coal-bearing properties in Wyoming) but trades under LBTG, not LGBT.  Better is that it's trading for 2 cents a share right now.  :huh:

Best:  It was founded in 2007 and until 2010 was called ESL Teachers, Inc.  Bit of a change, there.

I guess maybe this is a scam by someone who owns a bunch of their stock.  I guess.  They seem to already be in trouble with the SEC.

In any case, if you bought $3000 worth at 2 cents per, and then the stock was bought back at $1.27 per, you'd make about $200k, not a million bucks.  Pssh.  And it just might look a little suspicious.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on January 22, 2013, 12:54:32 PM
Quote
My corporation craves coal badly, but my firm capable.

I don't know what joke to make here.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 22, 2013, 02:11:12 PM
Quote
My corporation craves coal badly, but my firm capable

hands will grasp your
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 22, 2013, 04:49:54 PM
Yeah, I'm going to start saying "My corporation craves coal badly" a lot.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 01, 2013, 08:44:23 PM
Sender: Amanda Dreamgirl
Subject: white panties, black balls, blonde hair



I feel like Kevin Kline in Fish Called Wanda.  What was that middle thing again?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on February 01, 2013, 10:05:13 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 09, 2013, 09:10:23 PM
Sender:  stinkyvag@healthgrades.com
Subject:  You Really Need This


:shock:  My best friends wouldn't tell me!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on February 12, 2013, 11:56:12 AM
Quote
Herewith we are informing you that you are required to pay a pecuniary penalty for not filling the income tax return prior to January 31.

Please pay attention that IRS Section 5717 [E] [8] specifies a money forfeit of $2.000 for each Form 208 that is filled later than deadline for suffusion the income tax return or does not contain the exhaustive data described in 5717 [E] [8].

You will be released from the forfeiture when the taxpayer shows that the failure to file was caused by great reason.

Please browse official website for more information
Internal Revenue Services United States, Department of Treasury
P.O. Box 996
Hours of Operation: Monday-Friday, 11:30AM - 16:30PM your local time.
There's so much wrongness here, I doubt I could list it all. The last part is the one that got me - "your local time"?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 12, 2013, 12:01:58 PM
That was written more spacealien than usual for tax stuff, even.  I'm kind of impressed by how bad it is.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 12, 2013, 12:16:53 PM
I read "for great reason" and immediately said MOVE ZIG
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 12, 2013, 02:08:19 PM
Quote from: my new friend GRACE
Hey friend,                                                               
How are you? Guess you are fine and living good. Nice having your address with the aid of my new search device, my name is GRACE and I'm from New York, USA. Here just looking for better friendship and pen pals both women and men to share interest and lot more with.
I love discussing all issues and learning other people's cultures and languages.

Hope to get more good and lasting friends outside my state. Friends re like cloths, and life is naked without one.

About me in a brief, my name is GRACE PAWANN; a native of Chicago Illinois, working with a recruitment  and resettlement agency here in New York City. I think it’s enough  for now till I hear from you. Now tell me about yourself and your country.

Plz excuse me if I erred by contacting you in this mail, you can forward my message to any of your preferred mailbox and reply via it for easier correspondence.

Xpecting to hear from you soonest, till then bye.

Your new friend GRACE.

Friends re like cloths, and life is naked without one.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on February 12, 2013, 02:36:04 PM
my new search device?

welcome to the future, grace.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on February 12, 2013, 09:06:24 PM
Ah yes.  Tis the season for IRS phishing spam.

We're getting probably 4-5 calls a day from dumb clients worried about whether or not they should click on the links in them.

 :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 20, 2013, 12:59:33 PM
Quote from: a new loony


Dr. [MY REAL NAME HERE OMG]
MODIS Science Team
NASA Terra Mission
 
Dear Dr. Nelson:
 
NASA's Kepler and Terra Missions, leaders in performing breakthrough space research and discovery (the former compiling data on Earth-like planets; the latter collecting data on Earth's reflectivity of solar radiation), begin a new age underlying and abetting human societal evolution from nation-states to United Albedo Regions . . . defining a compassionate/cooperative global society directly related to the quest for global climate stability and enduring world peace.
 
Generational monitoring, adjustment, and refinement of the surface of Earth (for surface reflectivity of solar radiation conducive and basic to climate stability) - ending and/or mitigating weather-related phenomena such as (but not limited to) global warming, ice ages, droughts and desertification, as well as floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, lightning-induced wildland fires - describes a natural progression from agriculture to horticulture to permaculture to albedoculture to albedoism to United Albedo Regions on Earth.
 
As values and ethics central to a compassionate/cooperative global society and to life-centered cosmologies, intelligent life procreation (together with cosmic reciprocal propagation and dissemination of intelligent life by intelligent life) sustain, perpetuate and eternalize universal forelaws of empathy and compassion seated within the genome of humankind and all intelligent life.
 
Albedoism (climate stability), moving humanity beyond nation-states to United Albedo Regions on Earth, inherently interrelates science (including political science), universal forelaws of empathy and compassion, and compassionate/cooperative education at all levels. www.forelawsonboard.net/NewAge.html
 
In forelawsship on board,
 
Robert E. Cobb

 

Forelaws/Albedoism
www.forelawsonboard.net/index.html

Email:   Forelaws_on_Board@forelawsonboard.net

"Albedoism" is a good name for a Soylent Haggis album
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 20, 2013, 04:21:11 PM
Wow, that got . . . weird.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on February 20, 2013, 07:28:43 PM
Major Nelson, the astronaut?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 20, 2013, 10:31:43 PM
Thing is, he's actually being stupid about this. Albedo is only a tiny part of the problem. Can't solve all this without fixing the global biogeochemistry. Like putting a big reflector out there will only cool things down somewhat. Seriously not going to help much.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on February 21, 2013, 01:05:41 PM
didn't the simpsons do this?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on February 21, 2013, 06:45:44 PM
Futurama did, at the very least.

The bits about regions sorted by albedo totally sounds like racist code.  I'm just sayin'.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on February 22, 2013, 12:47:10 PM
:galm: Oh yeah, it does have that tinge. Definitely a thread of precious bodily fluids running through it.

I'm just pissed this psycho knows my name and my email address.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 02, 2013, 02:04:06 PM
Sender:  Tana Moroff
Subject:  My Bunny

Quote
Hello I am Tana a lonely Russian whore.  We should talk more about my bunny.

That's the entire message. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on March 02, 2013, 03:08:42 PM
Oh my.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 02, 2013, 03:20:59 PM
I would email her back with a picture of a rabbit and say Yes, can we also talk about mine?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 02, 2013, 03:39:01 PM
I don't know that I want to get drawn into some kind of conversation, here.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on March 02, 2013, 07:59:05 PM
MONOLAGOMORPHISM.


There is only one bunny.   :angry:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 02, 2013, 08:51:18 PM
Great Boris Yeltsin!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 03, 2013, 01:26:51 PM
See, never get drawn into conversations about politics or bunnies.

Meanwhile, today:


Sender:  Claude 8, Administrator
Subject:  Official Notice From The Federal Sex Administration


Well.  This can't be good news.  Unless, maybe, "Claude 8" is a sexy Claudette Colbert robot, or something.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 03, 2013, 07:05:31 PM
Federal Sex Administration? Hmm. Do they have an SBIR program?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on March 03, 2013, 11:08:30 PM
i heard they lost most of their funding due to the sequester.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 03, 2013, 11:17:36 PM
i heard they lost most of their funding due to the sequester.

Congressional cockblocking - the worst kind!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on March 04, 2013, 02:39:29 PM
 :lol:
Title: Bank of America wants us to send you an article from Robert Lanza - Biocentrism
Post by: the other andrea on March 04, 2013, 02:41:49 PM
Quote

Bank of America bankofamericanycity004@yahoo.cn via ip-173-201-185-67.ip.secureserver.net

Article Link: http://www.robertlanzabiocentrism.com/a-new-theory-of-the-universe/
 
Website: http://www.robertlanzabiocentrism.com

From: Bank of America (bankofamericanycity004@yahoo.cn)

Message: Bank of America Home Loans Branch Offices New York 1680 Broadway, New York, NY 10019, USA. Beneficiary, The G20 and the World Bank Switzerland are in agreement with the U.S Government to distribute $18.5 Million, this discovery fund which the Late President of Libya Muammar Gaddafi deposited in the World Bank Switzerland. Your email address is in the list of beneficiary\'s that will be receiving this approved fund in order to improve your business without returning it back. You are therefore advised to provide your full banking details, Your location address, your telephone number and a copy of your identity card to proceed on the immediate transfer of your fund. Listen all your message must be sent to this email address here (bankofamericanycity004@yahoo.cn) if you need your fund immediate release transfer, try to write us on this email (bankofamericanycity004@yahoo.cn) to confirm that you received the message sent to you as directed. Dr. Grey Watson

 :huh:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: feffer on March 04, 2013, 03:37:02 PM
Yes, BoA uses a Chinese Yahoo address. :eyeroll:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 15, 2013, 09:01:18 AM
Quote from: dianna
HELLO IS ME DIANNA How are you today? I feel like communicating
  with you, my name is miss Dianna single by marital status, It is my pleasure
  with due respect to cultivate a healthy friendship with you, since i was
 impressed with your profile. I have great interest in making new friends,
 my hobbies are reading,swimming and dancing. Today i found your e-mail id
 in (internet) then i took the opportunity to write to you as i really want
  us to be Hood friends,I'm sorry if i am embarrassing you, and I will appreciate
  it if we can be great friend. I will send my photo at least for you to see
  who is writing to you.I will like you to contact me back at (diannadahija@yahoo.com.sg)
  so that I will give you full explanation about myself, and reasons and purpose
  I have contacted you . Yours Sincerely, miss Dianna

We could be Hood friends!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on March 26, 2013, 12:32:18 PM
seems legit:

Quote
Subject:   
   UPS - Your package is available for pickup ( Parcel 0DJU39I0 )
From:   
"UPS Express Services" <service-notification@ups.com>   (Add as Preferred Sender)   
Date:   Tue, Mar 26, 2013 9:29 am
To:   perry@perrydrake.com
The courier company was not able to deliver your parcel by your address.

Cause: Error in shipping address.

You may pickup the parcel at our post office.

Please attention!
For mode details and shipping label please see the attached file.
Print this label to get this package at our post office.

Please do not reply to this e-mail, it is an unmonitored mailbox!

Thank you,
UPS Logistics Services.

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
This electronic mail transmission and any attached files contain information intended for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information belonging to the sender (UPS , Inc.) that is proprietary, privileged, confidential and/or protected from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any viewing, copying, disclosure or distributions of this electronic message are violations of federal law. Please notify the sender of any unintended recipients and delete the original message without making any copies. Thank You


 Download
    Attachments    Size    Action(s)    Send To
   
 Label_8827712794.zip
100 k   Download

 :whatever:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 02, 2013, 01:20:47 PM
From: Cirque du Soleil
Subject:  Mr Brown.  Mr Brown.  Mr Brown is unable to continue.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on June 02, 2013, 03:23:44 PM
That sounds like song lyrics.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on June 02, 2013, 05:39:55 PM
:hmm:

We've been dancing with Mister Brown(stone),
he's unable to continuuue, he won't leave us aloooooone
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 03, 2013, 11:04:50 AM
My theory is that whatever act Mr Brown used to perform is a tough act to follow, and the Cirque is trolling for clownpunk acrobats, or whatever.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 08, 2013, 03:12:49 PM
Sender:  Paula Wang Wang
Subject:  I think I saw you naked, maybe?


Oh, Paula.  You'd remember.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 10, 2013, 10:19:44 AM
Sender:  Wang M. Wong
Subject:  Dear Sir, I am probably Chinese



Uh . . . OK?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on June 21, 2013, 12:31:37 PM
Quote from: TOXIC BELLY BUGS
TOXIC BELLY BUGS infest 9 out of 10 people (are you one of
  them?) Find Out Now! In today’s short, fast-paced presentation I’m
  going to reveal to you my top 4 insider secrets to rid your belly of health-derailing
  “toxic bugsâ€, including the EASIEST trick of all that, believe
 it or not, takes less than 2 minutes a day to perform. These quick tips work
  equally well for men and women and are used by thousands of my clients across
  the globe today. Be sure to watch until the end, as I save the very best
 for last!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 21, 2013, 12:54:43 PM
Quote
TOXIC BELLY BUGS infest 9 out of 10 people (are you one of
  them?)

I promise, I am not a toxic belly bug, and I infest very few people.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on June 27, 2013, 05:29:47 PM
Quote
Good day, I Am Chi Pui;Do not be surprised! I got your email contact via the
World Email On-line Directory" I am crediting officer at Sino Pac Bank Plc
in Hong Kong and i have a deal of $17.3M to discuss with you urgently.

World Email On-line Directory?  :harumph:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on July 08, 2013, 02:48:27 PM
Quote
Dear Beloved,

This letter might surprise you, Please don't ignore it this time as I am writing this letter to you with heavy tears In my eyes and great sorrow in my heart because i only have few months to live according to my Doctor. Base on this predicament, I have now decided to spread all my wealth, to contribute mainly to the development of charity. Please i need a reliable person who will use the Money ( $18 million Dollars) to build orphanage home or charity organization. Please reply me for more details:

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mybabysmomma on July 09, 2013, 11:48:36 AM
Doesn't it feel good to be loved?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 09, 2013, 04:48:36 PM
Sender:  Chi Fritters
Subject:  Lovely Lady from Hog Knog

Quote
Dear Sexman friend of mine, I am that lovely China lady whose privates you have known, don't you remember me too?

Pretty sure I haven't been to Hog Knog, but I see my reputation preceded me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on July 09, 2013, 04:51:30 PM
Our special today is Hog Knog with Chi Fritters.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on July 09, 2013, 08:39:10 PM
Pretty sure there's a superhero named "Sexman".
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 09, 2013, 09:35:07 PM
Pretty sure there's a superhero named "Sexman".

Rule 34: there is now
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on July 09, 2013, 09:48:02 PM
Pretty sure there's a superhero named "Sexman".

Rule 34: there is now

 :lol: Good point
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on August 07, 2013, 01:27:35 AM
Quote
Attn:

You have been Issued an Atm card with code (ATM-822)
Indicate When replying to this email

KINDEST REGARDS,
UNITED STATES SENATE-CHINA INTERPARLIAMENTART GROUP

what? how does this scam even work?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 07, 2013, 02:35:53 PM
From Lowe's:

Subject:  New tools for living at Lowe's!


But I don't want to live at Lowe's.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 07, 2013, 02:48:40 PM
Well, they've got a bathroom. And plenty of kitchen appliances ... you could do worse, I guess
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on August 07, 2013, 03:07:52 PM
you'd eventually run out of demo toilets.

oh, i guess you could use the actual bathroom.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 07, 2013, 03:23:37 PM
Actually, now that you mention it, back when I was living in Ohio I wrote like half a post-apocalyptic SF novel in which the protagonist starts off living in an abandoned Lowe's that he'd half-assedly turned into a semi-fortress. 

Then a woman comes along and points out what a bad job he's done, and he sheepishly agrees to go off with her.  Always the way.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on August 07, 2013, 06:25:50 PM
Quote
Attn:

You have been Issued an Atm card with code (ATM-822)
Indicate When replying to this email

KINDEST REGARDS,
UNITED STATES SENATE-CHINA INTERPARLIAMENTART GROUP

what? how does this scam even work?

 :hmm: :nuts: :shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on August 13, 2013, 04:26:57 PM
From a Ghanan banker.

Quote
Regards,
Mr. Micheal A*****,
Read! Think!! Decide!!!

This is a world of opportunities! Some people are born great; some are made great while some achieve greatness. But then a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity while an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Where is your category?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 13, 2013, 04:38:39 PM
Quote from: sidious spammer
INTERPARLIAMENTART

BAND NAME
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on August 13, 2013, 06:19:52 PM
I was working from home yesterday and someone (a guy named Steve with a thick Indian accent) allegedly from Microsoft called because my computer was sending out virii.  I questioned him about which computer, from which IP address, how he got my home phone number.  I asked how was I supposed to know he wasn't a scammer.  He said I just had to trust him.  I asked for his phone number and the one he gave was Seattle area, but was on the known scammer lists.  Seriously, Microsoft doesn't have a toll free number?  Eventually a "supervisor" came on and promptly hung up when I continued with my questioning.  Sadly there are probably tons of people who fall for this crap.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on August 15, 2013, 05:36:17 PM
So what do you think he wanted you to do??
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on August 15, 2013, 06:12:37 PM
Probably accept a remote connection so he could "fix" the PC.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on August 15, 2013, 08:57:26 PM
Probably accept a remote connection so he could "fix" the PC.

This ^
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 16, 2013, 12:36:48 PM
Sender: Guy
Subject:  Have You Tried The MYSTERY JERK?!?



Uh . . . .
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on August 16, 2013, 01:17:49 PM
Is this a superhero from Mystery Men based on Steve Martin's The Jerk?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 16, 2013, 01:23:01 PM
I don't know and I ain't askin'.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on August 16, 2013, 02:20:15 PM
Quote
Why don't you tell me 'bout the mystery jerk.
I wanna know about the mystery jerk.
Why don't you show me,
'cause I've tried and I've tried,
and I'm still mystified.
I can't do it anymore and I'm not satisfied.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 16, 2013, 02:22:45 PM
Quote
Why don't you tell me 'bout the mystery jerk.
I wanna know about the mystery jerk.
Why don't you show me,
'cause I've tried and I've tried,
and I'm still mystified.
I can't do it anymore and I'm not satisfied.

THIS
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 17, 2013, 10:02:12 AM
It could just be the special at a Jamaican restaurant.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on August 17, 2013, 02:18:56 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on August 18, 2013, 02:43:59 AM
Here's a new approach (at least for me):

Quote
I am Mrs. Linda Dianne Johnson, I am a US citizen, 48 years Old. I reside here in Iowa 52778. My residential address is as follows; 814 Seminary

St, Wilton, Iowa, United States, am thinking of relocating since I am now rich. I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in Nigeria

many years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over US$38,000 while in the US, trying to get my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents, And I was directed to meet Rev. Robert Anyanwu, who is the member of

FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE AWARD COMMITTEE, and I contacted him, so he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through

emails are fake. He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment.

Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my compensation funds of $5,500,000.00 from the FEDERAL MINISTRY OF

FINANCE. Moreover, Rev. Robert Anyanwu, showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments from the FEDERAL MINISTRY

OF FINANCE scam victim compensation and I saw your email address in his file and those that are yet to recieve their compensation, that is why I

decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you. I will advise you to

contact Rev. Robert Anyanwu.

You have to contact him directly on this information below.

FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE AWARD COMMITTEE, NIGERIA.
Name : Rev. Robert Anyanwu
Email: rev-robanyanwu@yoloswag.me
TelPhone: +234 810 670 6089      .

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with

them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing. Make sure you send him your full details.

You can also fill your information below:

Full Name:
Country:
Nationality:
adrress:
Phone Number:
Zip Code:

The only money I paid after I met Rev. Robert Anyanwu was just $580 for the paper works, take note of that Once again stop contacting those

people, I will advise you to contact Rev. Robert Anyanwu so that he can help you to claim your fund instead of dealing with those liars that

will be turning you around asking for different kind of money to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.

 :whatever:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 18, 2013, 12:59:18 PM
What, are they in direct competition with each other now?

Also "yoloswag.me"?  :lol:



Today I got a catalog email from BudK with the title "Zombie Assisted Open Knife".  I can't guess if that's something I might possibly want to buy or that I very much would not want near me.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on August 19, 2013, 09:40:07 PM
seems legit. i do have lots of long lost relatives in the netherlands. i wish mr. boucher had left his number.

Quote
Greetings,

please have no doubt over the receipt of this email, i did so much thinking before sending you this email and time will reveal all to you.

There is an account here in my bank which i would really love to discuss with you and this account has very close ties to you because it belonged to a long lost distant relative of yours.

It is very important that we speak as soon as possible, kindly call me or write me as soon as you receive this email.

Best Regards
Mr. D. M. Boucher
SNS Reaal Group
www.snsbank.nl
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 19, 2013, 10:00:06 PM
Also "yoloswag.me"?  :lol:

Band name.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on August 20, 2013, 07:42:37 PM
Also "yoloswag.me"?  :lol:

Band name.

 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 05, 2013, 03:43:29 PM
Sender:  wiremesh yang6
Subject:  GOD GOD BUY OUR WIRE MESH NOW


:eek:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 05, 2013, 04:48:44 PM
(http://preview.turbosquid.com/Preview/2013/01/05__04_14_54/5.jpgb357e6dc-a11b-48f3-b93a-5df31954a2caLarge.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 05, 2013, 04:54:17 PM
:rollin:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 14, 2013, 02:48:41 PM
Sender:  Jessica Roger
Subject:  Its time for your sexy rabbitcode


Jessica Roger . . . Rabbit?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 14, 2013, 05:00:26 PM
Sender:  Secretary-General Ball Scruff
Subject:  Rabbits for your Bedroom!



OK, so . . . what . . . I am becoming nervous of what the NSA is starting to suspect about me.  This one was sent from un.org (the UN), or so Outlook has been spoofed into believing.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 14, 2013, 05:01:12 PM
OK, I just remembered that there is a popular type of sex toy called a rabbit, not that I would have use for such a thing in recent years.

This doesn't really explain all that much, though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on November 14, 2013, 10:56:25 PM
If Ball Scruff is the Secretary-General, I'm U Thant. /guy
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on January 10, 2014, 06:30:54 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/cnz7113.jpg)

damn, i love telluride.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on January 10, 2014, 06:57:30 PM
Hey if it was all expenses paid...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 11, 2014, 12:40:06 PM
If you enjoyed this gay event, be sure to Telluride.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 12, 2014, 01:56:44 PM
Sender:  Erfstadt Verwaltungsliederung Hergehoben Bremsstrahlung
Subject:  In this way, doctors would do innovation first, and then companies would harness this innovation in order to develop.

Quote from: Entire Message
It would be too hard to leave him.
It was the opening track on the UK version of that album, and was included on the US version.
GDP to overseas aid, and compared the U. Back in the capital, Apokaukos wasted no time in resuming his scheming.


No attachments, and the sending address was spoofed as our address.  Surreal, but pointless?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 13, 2014, 01:35:54 AM
I've mentioned before that I feel about half of these spam messages are designed to elicit error messages proving the address invalid ... or not, or better yet to elicit an angry reply in which case the address is proved to be valid. The spammer then can sell that address to another spammer. I think that's a big part of the whole spam universe.

Translated, that says Erftstadt administrative divisions Repealed bremsstrahlung

Sorry, but that's wrong. Bremsstrahlüng is radiation elicited by bombarding something with a different kind of radiation - it's not a law so no adminstrative divisions of Erfstadt or any other city can repeal it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on January 13, 2014, 07:31:09 AM
It's also the term for radiation given off by particle-antiparticle pairs as they orbit each other before pair annihilation. It cannot be repealed to my knowledge.

STUPID UNSCIENTIFIC SPAMMERS.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2014, 10:47:30 AM
It's so easy nowadays to send spam to eleventy billion addresses that it boggles my mind that spammers would still buy vetted email lists.

I'm not saying they don't.  I'm sure most of them are desperately stupid people.  But even so.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on January 13, 2014, 12:34:02 PM
Have you gotten this thing from Hotmail yet?

Quote
This message is safe. It's from the Spam Fighters program, which actually helps eliminate junk email.


Microsoft Spam Fighters
We hate junk e-mail as much as you do!
Helping is easy–every once in a while we'll simply re-send one of your email messages and ask you if it's junk or not. One click and you're done.

This helps us fine-tune our junk email filters to better protect you and everyone else. The messages we send you are real messages that were addressed to you. We'll only send you one message a day at most, and you can quit at any time.

Join the spam fighters

By clicking the button above, you agree that Microsoft can ask you about your email messages and use your responses to help stop junk email.

No, thank you.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 13, 2014, 01:09:59 PM
Oh, I thought it said "Join the Ham Fighters" for amoment and hell yeah I'd love to play baseball in the Japan League for the Nippon Ham Fighters. :(
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 13, 2014, 01:21:16 PM
Hotmail won't load for me today.  :shrug:  So probably the spamfighter thing is in there, and I just can't see it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on January 21, 2014, 11:25:21 PM
I joked to my wife that instead of AARP hunting me down, Ashley Madison was stalking my spam box. She'd never heard of it.

/awkward
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 22, 2014, 01:02:36 PM
BUSTED
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 12, 2014, 05:29:33 PM
Quote from: spammer
On Mar 12, 2014, at 11:43 AM, Mr Gerald Brad wrote:


Attn:

I have sent you several massages without hearing from you. Are you
still alive? the offshore bank in Trinidad & Tobago has completed your
transfer and anxiously waiting for your attention. You should call the
director on their direct line Tel/Fax: (868)4688404 and get back to
me.

Thank You
Mr Gerald Brad
+22 96 85 232 13

Quote from: me
No Mr Gerald Brad, I am dead.
Please address all further communication to my ghost. You should already have its email.
However I am sure my ghost will have no interest in giving any "attention" to your "transfers."
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on March 12, 2014, 06:02:15 PM
Seriously. What do the dead care about silly transfers?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on March 12, 2014, 11:38:21 PM
He's also sent you several massages, which would be really awkward if you were dead.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on March 13, 2014, 12:49:58 AM
Some russian spammer is spoofing my work emale and I'm getting undeliverable notices back.  I've informed IT but they don't care anymore.  As long as none of them get through our spam filter they're happy.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on March 13, 2014, 07:30:17 AM
Isn't it possible that your domain could be blocked because of that?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 13, 2014, 04:23:09 PM
I didn't realize Mr Gerald Brad was sending me massages.

Damn.

I could have really used them.

Obviously I was hung up on the wrong part of the email.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 13, 2014, 04:25:17 PM
Corpse Bean Massages sounds like something from a Chinese vampire comedy.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on March 13, 2014, 07:15:46 PM
Quote from: spammer
On Mar 12, 2014, at 11:43 AM, Mr Gerald Brad wrote:


Attn:

I have sent you several massages without hearing from you. Are you
still alive? the offshore bank in Trinidad & Tobago has completed your
transfer and anxiously waiting for your attention. You should call the
director on their direct line Tel/Fax: (868)4688404 and get back to
me.

Thank You
Mr Gerald Brad
+22 96 85 232 13

Quote from: me
No Mr Gerald Brad, I am dead.
Please address all further communication to my ghost. You should already have its email.
However I am sure my ghost will have no interest in giving any "attention" to your "transfers."

You'll have to let us know what he sends to your ghost.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on March 13, 2014, 10:11:27 PM
Isn't it possible that your domain could be blocked because of that?

I'm pretty sure our domain isn't the originator, they are spoofing the email addy and unfortunately the undeliverable notices are coming into my domain and coming back to me.  Our spam filter quarantines half of the undeliverable notices, but the other half are getting through.  Anyway, I've let IT know
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 17, 2014, 10:00:01 AM
Sender:  Irina Sporlss
Subject:  Refresh Your Sex Bed Decrepitude, Manly Man


Oh you . . . .
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 02, 2014, 03:50:30 PM
Swimwear that will have you humping ALL the girls!

:whatever:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on April 02, 2014, 03:57:07 PM
You know, I could just put a sign around my neck reading, "Sexual Predator" a lot more easily.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 19, 2014, 01:10:22 PM
Secret Government Plan To Wash Your Guns



Nooooooooo what?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on April 19, 2014, 03:05:53 PM
You can clean my gun when you can take it from my greasy fingers.... damn, dropped it again.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 10, 2014, 02:05:14 PM
Sender:  Bob Cratchet
Subject:  Christmas!

Quote
The state planned for 2000 to bring happiness to people with half of their cellular phones and even contributed to a wide range of frequencies.  Newspapers wrote about the reverse phone search and the strangeness of the storm that arose as if from nowhere, and in particular has caused considerable damage to the island phones. In Indonesia, tobacco products are sold to all reverse-look-up-by-phone-number comers, and so some kids are accustomed to smoking from two years.

I can't help but notice that this was the entire email, and I still don't even know what you're selling, Bob.  You may keep Christmas by losing your position!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 28, 2014, 03:28:12 PM
Sender: lbsnacks
Subject: POUND SNACKS

Quote
Have you tried Longhorn Snuff for your latest snack platter?



Uh . . . no.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on May 28, 2014, 06:49:08 PM
 :nuts: :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 03, 2014, 02:37:58 PM
Sender:  Edward Mark Edwards
Subject:  Hot hungry carnies are waiting for you


Is that a come-on or a threat?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on June 03, 2014, 02:57:41 PM
Great movie title!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on June 03, 2014, 10:29:51 PM
:spittake: :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on June 04, 2014, 11:17:55 AM
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/02/21/article-2564718-1BB2032C00000578-212_634x938.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on June 27, 2014, 11:43:22 AM
"Claim your government grant money!"  :whatever:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 05, 2014, 01:38:27 PM
Quote
My favorite one! Hello, my name is Lt. Gen. linda, I'm American General

Convincing!

Quote
I went through a profile that speaks good of you and would you would hear from you if honesty proactive courage bat my way soon!

All right, now you're breaking up.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 10, 2014, 08:58:06 AM
Quote from: spam
[The DUTCH YOUTH draws his legs back.]gentleman hold. [To the GERMAN] 'Bitte, mein Herr, sagen Sie ihm, engine, away from the draught, and looks out of the window, to face and nurses his hat.] [The BABY wails.]head.]ENGLISHMAN. Bit stuffy for you here, dear, isn't it?GERMAN. Oh! Ha! Pfui!Waiter! Flash of beer--jump, now! in the other hand. He peers in anxiously. The ENGLISH, acutelyAMERICAN. [Relishing the approach of argument] Well, that is a [He touches the Baby.]him. [He makes the gesture of arrest] No, Sir. Providence has This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withOFFICIAL. Put ze baby down, or ich will goummand someone it to do.AMERICAN. Well! I judge a hero is just a person that'll help - Research Promo Center 700 N Valley St Suite B Anaheim CA 92801 - Stop receiving these messages:

ooookay

Also this was an ad that said something like "eat this and never gain weight again" and the photo was a hand holding a ctenophore.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 10, 2014, 09:06:01 AM
These are the real Turing tests, right here.



At first I thought you said "ctenophone".  Now I'm slightly disappointed.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on July 13, 2014, 12:39:24 PM
Quote
We've streamlined how our members can claim their complimentary AD&D coverage. It's fast, easy, and online.
Yeah, I'd like coverage on my true neutral druid. She's been doing a few too many good deeds lately and I don't want her alignment to change. No, she's pretty tight with her goddess so accidental death is covered already.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 13, 2014, 01:32:31 PM
Unfortunately, the BCBS saving throw penalty is quite disappointing.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on July 13, 2014, 09:36:07 PM
Quote
We've streamlined how our members can claim their complimentary AD&D coverage. It's fast, easy, and online.
Yeah, I'd like coverage on my true neutral druid. She's been doing a few too many good deeds lately and I don't want her alignment to change. No, she's pretty tight with her goddess so accidental death is covered already.

 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on August 05, 2014, 11:34:39 AM
wtf?


Quote
-------- Start Notice #18088298 --------------
Surface Protect Plus Summer Savings
Attn: pdrake@*******.com
Don't let rain and the coming snow ruin your deck and garage.
Summer is the time to protect your garage and wood floors.
Amazing deal for homeowners looking to preserve their deck and garage surfaces.
Go Here Now to Protect Your Floors for Years and Years: http://startnow.protect-your-surface01.us
--------------- End Notice ----------------
Manage_your_preferences: http://end.protect-your-surface01.us

PO Box: #19258
Falterstrasse., 12 97318--Kitzingen., Germany.




I don't have to talk 18088298 about the food. Plenty 18088298 has been said and it's all true from experience. I tried Mike's Spicy Beef 'n Cheddar c4b845c2d8ff1fa3c136027ceea22079 and the wife tried the Black and Blue sandwich. We thought 18088298 we may not be able to finish it but we scraped off every last bit of crumbs 18088298 in a few minutesc4b845c2d8ff1fa3c136027ceea22079
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 05, 2014, 01:27:15 PM
Spam robot copypasta fails Turing test.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on August 07, 2014, 01:04:50 PM
Quote
Unleash the power in your pants!
Rupturing Li-ion batteries isn't the wisest thing to do, but OK.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 20, 2014, 04:26:56 PM
Sender:  Microsoft
Subject:  Disquieting time for Malaysia's Fish Listeners
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on August 20, 2014, 07:24:48 PM
Sender:  Microsoft
Subject:  Disquieting time for Malaysia's Fish Listeners

BAND NAME
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 21, 2014, 09:22:12 AM
I'm assuming, from that subject line, that the fish have gotten louder.

Perhaps The Fish Have Gotten Louder would be a good album name.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on August 21, 2014, 01:05:31 PM
Not sure which is the better album name:

Perhaps The Fish Have Gotten Louder

or

The Fish Have Gotten Louder
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 21, 2014, 05:06:43 PM
Man, them dolphins is smart, alright (http://youtu.be/LDyoUqvo-Gg).
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on August 21, 2014, 05:47:33 PM
Thank you :flipper:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 24, 2014, 03:08:20 PM
Sender: Mary Genius Woman
Subject:  you could be the most trusted penis

Quote
have you ever considered the problem of trusted penis in bedrooms today where beautiful women live? if you have wanted trusted for your gigantic penis you need to get back to school now with our help

(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/671/144/21f.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on August 24, 2014, 03:35:30 PM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 24, 2014, 04:19:43 PM
:rollin:

However.

You guys are slipping.

trusted penis

BAND. NAME.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on August 24, 2014, 08:42:09 PM
:spittake:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 26, 2014, 09:56:13 AM
Sender:  Mrs Tamiko Barbarian
Subject:  BE YOUR BOSS'S PLEASURE MACHINE


I'll pass.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on August 26, 2014, 03:32:46 PM
Curious Books Fanfic.

After RAxe tied up Ray and brought out the cat'o'nine tails....
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 26, 2014, 04:14:27 PM
Cat'o'thirty-six tails, at the least.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 04, 2014, 10:29:50 PM
Calling me to try and offer me a vacation isn't a bad thing of itself.

Trying to call me and offer me a vacation in Las Vegas the day after a heat wave breaks, though, seems slightly foolish.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 10, 2014, 01:15:49 PM
i got real tired of emails from grainger, so i unsubscribed from the email list.

they sent an email saying they were sorry to see me go.

 :whatever:

really?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 15, 2014, 12:30:09 PM
Sender:  Ms Agbako Agbako
Subject:  I OWE YOUR PENIS A FAVOR


Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: phyre on September 15, 2014, 02:05:21 PM
It's like the Scotsman.

"Oh lad I don't know where you been,
but I see you won first prize!"
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on September 15, 2014, 07:46:20 PM
It's like the Scotsman.

"Oh lad I don't know where you been,
but I see you won first prize!"

 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 18, 2014, 09:45:54 AM
Quote from: Elsevier
Dear Dr. undefined,

It is our pleasure to inform you that your publication has been cited in a journal published by Elsevier.

Through this unique service we hope we can offer you valuable information, and make you aware of publications in your research area.

Best regards,

The CiteAlert team

undefined

Yeah, I needed *that* shit this week.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 18, 2014, 10:32:29 AM
Maybe you're just a wildcard.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 18, 2014, 10:50:50 AM
it's better than dr. acula.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 18, 2014, 11:50:31 AM
it's better than dr. acula.
Isn't he the hematologist?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on September 18, 2014, 02:59:33 PM
Quote
Dr. undefined

Sounds like a new dark superhero. Definitely a mad scientist.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 18, 2014, 03:51:10 PM
Sender:  Dr Fish Bridal
Subject:  Unusual Business Opportunity!



Yeah, I guess so.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on September 18, 2014, 10:20:38 PM
Quote from: Elsevier
Dear Dr. undefined,

It is our pleasure to inform you that your publication has been cited in a journal published by Elsevier.

Through this unique service we hope we can offer you valuable information, and make you aware of publications in your research area.

Best regards,

The CiteAlert team

undefined

Yeah, I needed *that* shit this week.

My wife knows a Dr. Doom.  He did some research at the University of MN while she was working on her Masters there.  So it could be worse.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on September 18, 2014, 10:57:46 PM
Worse? NO IT WOULD BE AWESOME

(http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091007014129/marveldatabase/images/a/a6/Victor_von_Doom_%28Earth-616%29.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 28, 2014, 12:07:11 PM
Sender:  Dr Ozzer
Subject:  Hot stones can stave off orgasms!


Noted.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on September 28, 2014, 04:54:47 PM
Or cold ones, for that matter.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 29, 2014, 09:20:54 AM
Dr Ozzer plays to his strengths.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 29, 2014, 12:04:57 PM
Sender:  Colonel Fury USMC
Subject:  With the help of Jesus I will send you MY TEEEEETH




Pass.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on September 29, 2014, 02:07:57 PM
Is your mail carried named Chuy?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 29, 2014, 02:49:59 PM
I . . . I don't know.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on September 29, 2014, 08:03:22 PM
My spam is never this interesting. All I get are fake stock tips and weight loss spam.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on September 29, 2014, 08:32:37 PM
I don't see much spam anymore.  Google does a great job, yahoo now does a decent job, and work uses some service which let's nothing through.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on September 29, 2014, 09:22:43 PM
I keep getting ads telling me they'll help me last longer, but that's not really the problem I need addressed.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on September 30, 2014, 09:36:55 AM
I've been getting a ton at one of my Gmail accounts since I used it to sign up for an account with my power company.  Possibly I used it to sign up for something else at the same time.  I was careful enough to use the per.iod trick to track it, partly because I can't be bothered.  :shrug:

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 02, 2014, 09:33:49 AM
Sender: DOCTOR MAXIMUM
Subject:  I AM A BETTER MAN THAN YOU AND I SELL YOU PILLS



Pushy!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 02, 2014, 11:57:31 AM
Sender: DOCTOR MAXIMUM

:hmm: Band name
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on October 02, 2014, 07:56:20 PM
DONE (https://twitter.com/FunnyBandName/status/517840383389089792).
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 03, 2014, 09:16:21 AM
With backup band The Unregistered Nurses.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on October 03, 2014, 07:34:45 PM
With backup band The Unregistered Nurses.

DONE (https://twitter.com/FunnyBandName/status/518197410678333440).
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on October 15, 2014, 06:03:34 PM
This is typical of what I've been getting lately.

Quote
Sender: Goldie Mcclure
Subject: do you still want this?

Hi!

I got your voicemail yesterday about the stock tip you want, sorry I couldnt pick up the phone I was on with the wife you know how she is but please next time don't call the house line, I would prefer if you come in to my office instead. In person is always better. Anyway your timing is impeccable you are very lucky. There's this insane little company (confederation minerals) that was exchanging hands for like a dollar and a half last year and now you can grab it for around 10 cents. These guys are sitting on gold, literaly. They have proven reserves worth a few hundred mill and theyre about to begin digging out the stuff in a few months.

You better bet the stokc is gonna go nuts in the coming weeks when they make the drilling announcement. Take care and if you need anything else give me a shout. The stokc is CNRMF and if I were you id grab as many shares as I can, everyone at the office thinks this one is gonna go up at least 5x soon.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 15, 2014, 07:09:43 PM
Stokc tips! Better than Vaigra or Cailis cheap.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on October 15, 2014, 07:40:40 PM
Is Goldie Troy's sister?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on October 15, 2014, 08:36:21 PM
I'm less interested in stokcs lately and more partial to mutaul fnuds.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 15, 2014, 08:46:58 PM
Well: mutaul fnuds are portfolios of stokcs and bnods and perhaps other investmnets. It's always best to read the prospcetuses very carefully. You never know when there might be a sbuprime mrotgage fnud in there.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on October 15, 2014, 09:12:36 PM
sbuprime mrotgage fnud

 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on October 15, 2014, 11:07:22 PM
fnud is fine just by itself hmof
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on October 16, 2014, 06:16:04 AM
Is Goldie Troy's sister?

You might remember her from such stokcs as Florida swampland, and Enron.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on October 16, 2014, 11:24:10 AM
:rollin:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 16, 2014, 12:57:11 PM
Today's gem:


Sender:  wendy northcutt
Subject:  Nude Bear Hunting Specials


That name looked familiar, so I googled it, and . . . Wendy Northcutt did the Darwin Award books. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on October 16, 2014, 02:05:07 PM
Nude-Bear Hunting-Specials
Nude Bear-Hunting Specials
Nude Bear Hunting-Specials
Nude-Bear Hunting Specials
Nude, Bear, Hunting Specials
Not sure how to parse.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on October 16, 2014, 02:51:02 PM
Verbal Rorschach test?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on October 16, 2014, 03:44:33 PM
bears should be given clothing. it's immoral to walk around nude.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on October 16, 2014, 04:16:14 PM
I live near SF, so I see bears in assless chaps from time to time.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 16, 2014, 04:27:47 PM
I never understand "assless chaps".  It's such a common phrase, but chaps are basically assless pants.  Assed chaps would be pants.

Chapped asses would be the result of assless pants, I guess.  Well, among other things.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 16, 2014, 08:00:06 PM
No, no, bears should be given guns not clothes. A well-regulated bear militia being essential to the security of the state, the right to arm bears shall not be abridged.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 20, 2014, 08:57:26 AM
Sender:  Benedetta Doolunk
Subject:  If your penis needs more power, so do I!

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on October 20, 2014, 10:44:07 AM
Benedetta Doolunk sounds like a drum beat.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 20, 2014, 01:25:46 PM
Since my penis doesn't need more power, maybe she doesn't, either.  Maybe she was hoping to hear good news.  Maybe she's a very odd drum machine in search of drumsticks.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 21, 2014, 02:03:12 PM
Sender:  Marti Hammond
Subject:  Euro Penis Industry Newsletter Detroit Turtle Handler


I was with you until you lost me, there.  :shrug:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 21, 2014, 02:05:57 PM
List of jobs, just without a delimiter?

Detroit Turtle Handler might be a cool job.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on October 21, 2014, 03:35:16 PM
I can't quite make Doctor Detroit (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085450) work with that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 30, 2014, 08:31:09 AM
This started out great, but then went all routine on me:

Quote
Hello Dear,

I am writing to you on behalf of Meble Vox.
While Mrs Marta Chwilowicz is out of office i am replacing her.

Meble Vox is my new stage name
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on October 30, 2014, 08:40:01 AM
You'd probably get sued.

http://en.meble.vox.pl/about-us.html
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on October 30, 2014, 09:04:11 AM
Oh. Huh.

I'd get this if it was Meubles Vox - that would mean Vox Furniture, in french, but Meble Vox?

Sounds like a MAD magazine character.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on October 30, 2014, 10:57:46 AM
I like that "original solutions" in interior design.

Piling all the furniture in one corner and embedding it in a block of honey-colored translucent epoxy, maybe?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on November 03, 2014, 11:54:31 AM
Quote
                                                             STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
Compliment of the day, May I have the pleasure of introducing myself? I am Mr. Peter Frankel a senior staff and chairman of Tender Board Committee on the award of contracts in Department of Works and Housing here in South Africa. I got your contact E-mail address through the internet in my search to find a trustworthy person on whom I can repose confidence for colossal international money transaction. My aim of sending this "business proposal" to you is to solicit for your assistance and co-operation to transfer some huge amount of fund into your account overseas. Therefore, this communication should be held in high confidence.
Yep, they finally found me. But I just don't the time to play with them, right now.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 03, 2014, 12:40:43 PM
"Some huge amount of fund", eh?  Tell them you do this all the time, but not for amounts less than $10 million, and that you require a 1% good-faith deposit up front.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 20, 2014, 02:12:01 PM
Sender:  Commerce Monster
Subject:  Easy To Use Boxencryption Whale


Who's the what, now?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on November 20, 2014, 02:37:23 PM
http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Luxury-Leather-Box-WHALE-Shark-Calendar-Leather-Strap-6-Hands-Chronograph-Big-Face-Watch-For-Men/1850943292.html

pretty cool actually
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 20, 2014, 04:36:13 PM
It's like a wrist-mounted snowglobe with a few clocks in it.  :hmm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on November 20, 2014, 05:48:11 PM
http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Luxury-Leather-Box-WHALE-Shark-Calendar-Leather-Strap-6-Hands-Chronograph-Big-Face-Watch-For-Men/1850943292.html

pretty cool actually

 :lol: they left off Sport Military Watch.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on November 20, 2014, 10:31:59 PM
But wait there's more...
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 21, 2014, 10:30:37 AM
Butt weight, there's more.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 25, 2014, 04:18:39 PM
Best prices on Latex Towels!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on November 25, 2014, 05:14:41 PM
Probably true!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 25, 2014, 07:54:37 PM
Latex sheets, that's one thing.  But I dunno.

I admit, I didn't check Google Shopping for price comparisons.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on November 29, 2014, 05:44:39 PM
You're not a sexless pokemon You are a powerful sex-transformer, Andrea!

 :hmm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 30, 2014, 02:09:48 PM
Boptimus Prime.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on December 01, 2014, 11:33:22 PM
isn't all piano information pretty important?

(http://i.imgur.com/PGCsvx7.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on December 02, 2014, 07:55:19 AM
I would think so, otherwise it would be Piano Trivia.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 02, 2014, 11:36:41 AM
Some of it's major, and some is minor.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 02, 2014, 08:31:33 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/KJ4xC2y.gif)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 02, 2014, 09:39:15 PM
Quote
I am kind and communicable!  Have sense of humor and taste!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 11, 2014, 07:36:24 PM
Sender:  Mnkey Professr
Subject:  The sexiest asian girls you big feedly camel man.  Is that you?



What was . . . what was the question again?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 12, 2014, 03:46:02 PM
Sender:  Naked Minsky
Subject:  Do You Urgently Need Waxidermy?



Is that . . . does that have to do with dead animals?  Is this for a hairless deer head on my wall? 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on December 12, 2014, 06:20:32 PM
Brazilian Waxidermy is a nice band name.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 13, 2014, 12:20:32 PM
So is Naked Minsky.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 12, 2015, 11:59:42 AM
Got a somewhat disturbing spam message in my Hotmail folder that started with my actual name, which is not associated with that account.  :hmm: :thumbsdn:

After my name, it said Oriana N Is About To Rock Your Balls Off!!!

(http://i.imgur.com/5dUQz.gif)


I don't want that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 22, 2015, 09:53:49 AM
Woodworking with a scantly penis?  Aliens are here to help!

(http://i.imgur.com/j0XBccm.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on May 29, 2015, 09:38:51 AM
Allegedly from Inkster:

Yonderly venomous sex from everyone is coming your way


Good lord.  Where's my rain coat?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 09, 2015, 09:50:45 AM
Floor-scented women await your pleasure!

:nonplused:  What am I, a dessert topping?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on June 09, 2015, 11:41:10 AM
Talk about hard wood....
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on June 16, 2015, 12:35:10 PM
I got evaluated and my wrist issue is definitely not carpal or cubital tunnel syndrome. Today, I got an email from the medical group that told me that with the subject line, "Are you at risk for Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?"

I know there's no thinking involved in sending out the message. But maybe there should be?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 16, 2015, 12:57:55 PM
Maybe there should be.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on June 16, 2015, 03:16:18 PM
Maybe there is, and they're hoping you have a short memory.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on June 16, 2015, 05:21:25 PM
I've got a memory like a steel ... what's that thing called... oh, yeah, a sieve.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on June 16, 2015, 06:03:40 PM
:galm:  I'm going to have to use that one if I can remember it.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 18, 2015, 09:16:29 AM
:lol:

I usually say "a steel sponge".  Not much soaks in, but when something gets in there, it's in there.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on June 20, 2015, 10:54:09 AM
Just in time for summer -- stop watches!

Um.  I guess in case I need to know exactly how much of the summer is left?

"Ready?  And . . . August!"
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on July 07, 2015, 08:25:41 PM
I've got a memory like a steel ... what's that thing called... oh, yeah, a sieve.

 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on July 24, 2015, 12:24:23 AM
my internet went out for about 2 hours tonight. doesn't happen too often.

the first email i got when it came back on was spam from cox to upgrade my internet speed.

 :whatever:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 24, 2015, 01:11:57 PM
Cox. Uckers.

They're throttling streaming video, too, I bet. We can't get Netflix or Amazon worth shit these days. Well, I'll just take my business elsewOH WAIT NO I CAN'T THEY'RE A COXUCKING MONOPOLY

:stbm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on July 24, 2015, 07:33:09 PM
Oh, could this be our problem with Comcast? I will have to ask the man of the house.  :batteyes:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 24, 2015, 07:44:03 PM
Uh, my router was running on brainstem, as it turns out, and wasn't even responding to pings, so I rebooted it. I suspect that might be some of the problem.  :shy:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on July 24, 2015, 10:09:37 PM
as much as i hate cox at least they're better than twc and comcast. they consistently have the fastest speed of the three (and then some).

it's too bad they have a total monopoly on vegas and we'll never see google fiber.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on July 24, 2015, 10:56:57 PM
I had a client in Omaha to whom I was talking about an Internet issue once.  I offered to have one of my guys call their ISP to work with them to resolve, and she said "Oh don't worry.  I'll call them Cox and get it sorted out myself.  Thanks!"

 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on July 24, 2015, 11:33:17 PM
 :detta:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 25, 2015, 10:08:09 AM
I still don't have internet at home.  It's Comcast or AT&T, and I'm not using either of them for internet ever again.  I am hoping to move somewhere nicer soon, though.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on July 25, 2015, 12:28:40 PM
It's totally true. Cox was the highest rated big provider by Consumer Reports. They were really effing rocky when they started, but for years they've been pretty darn good. Last time I had a serious technical issue I actually got to speak to someone qualified, in the United States.

But now, I can't get Netflix for five minutes without a choke and die.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on July 25, 2015, 12:47:24 PM
I had the same problem with AT&T, more or less.  Trying to stream Netflix became annoying . . . and then infuriating . . . and then impossible.  Meanwhile, AT&T kept inching the monthly cost of DSL up, and bandwidth tests showed crappier and crappier throughput.  Customer service was useless.

Then they tried to screw me out of $200 when I cancelled the service, and that was even better.  Fuck them.  They just got government approval to buy DirecTV.  We should be shattering them into pieces.  We desperately need new anti-monopoly balls. 
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on August 03, 2015, 07:08:02 PM
This is in the other thread too, but our Netflix and Amazon Prime stopped working mysteriously not long after getting them.

The buffering at certain times of the day (night) was awful. It was probably someone's imagination, but turning off our computers seemed to help.

I would just like to go back to getting the DVDs, but we're at a stalemate in regards as to what to do about a service we are paying what little money we have to.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 04, 2015, 01:09:55 PM
I have both Prime and Netflix, and of course no streaming, either, so I feel your pain.  I'm still on a three-DVD Netflix plan, which is . . . OK.  They don't seem to be making any attempt to buff their disks anymore, so I have to do it myself, and I have to send them back a lot more often for being too damaged to play. 

It's like, I get it, you want to phase this out.  The DSL in my neighborhood is too shitty for streaming video.  Fix that, and I'm there.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on August 04, 2015, 09:24:40 PM
We did the 2 disc Netflix plan for years.  We did so successfully for 90% of that, and suddenly it got terrible.  We started getting broken discs, horribly scratched discs, wrong discs.  Like 1/3 of the time they were unplayable.  Quality control for their disc plan went completely to hell practically overnight.

It's like they wanted us to cancel it.  So we did.  We're streaming only, which has an unsatisfactory selection, but that's hardly Netflix's fault.  I blame the content owners for being belligerent dicks.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on August 04, 2015, 10:13:33 PM
well, the netflix original stuff has been great. it's supposed to get better and better.

there's that.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 05, 2015, 10:28:01 AM
Quote
I blame the content owners for being belligerent dicks.

Yep.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: eldiem on August 06, 2015, 01:42:17 PM
This is in the other thread too, but our Netflix and Amazon Prime stopped working mysteriously not long after getting them.

The buffering at certain times of the day (night) was awful. It was probably someone's imagination, but turning off our computers seemed to help.

I would just like to go back to getting the DVDs, but we're at a stalemate in regards as to what to do about a service we are paying what little money we have to.

Is it going straight to your TV? My owners manual for the new TV highly recommends using a wired connection rather than the wifi. Maybe there's a connection issue?
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 18, 2015, 02:18:37 PM
Throw your doctor into the fireplace!



There was a joke like this in the Wizard of Id, roughly forty years ago.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on August 22, 2015, 02:07:47 AM
why are they targeting my dog? you'd think that by this time some type of AI would be able to filter that shit out. maybe it's a coincidence.

Quote
Tak͛e t֔hat my adult master
i'm a 20 yّear o͂ld gir͓l l͎oٖoking for a f@ckḇu̡ddy! no BF wan֔ted .֪. i just wan͂t tًo have hot sxx .
My useͪrname is Ad֚ele̒81 =]
My profile is heٗre: ht tp://Adelehmc.snapfuckalert.cricket
Talk soon!
[/qote]u
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 22, 2015, 11:10:20 PM
snapfuckalert dot cricket!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: the other andrea on August 24, 2015, 07:13:08 PM

Is it going straight to your TV? My owners manual for the new TV highly recommends using a wired connection rather than the wifi. Maybe there's a connection issue?

Hmm... I'm pretty sure we're relying on the wifi. I will ask the TV technician I share my bed with about this.  :hmm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on November 08, 2015, 02:16:31 AM
Quote
Dear friend,
I'M LIEUTENANT GENERAL Christina M Hammock. I am a UNITED STATE NASA
GENERAL. From united state of America. I'm supportive, caring, and
honest,
looking for a nice friend, after going through your profile here i
picked
interest in you. Please write to me back in my email here, So that i can
tell you more about me and also send you my photos as soon as i receive
your mail, Thanks and regards. Gen. Christina M Hammock.

later dudes . . . . goin' to space.

LOSERS!!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on November 08, 2015, 06:11:52 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on November 08, 2015, 10:10:40 AM
:detta: :galm:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on November 08, 2015, 12:33:42 PM
W1NN4R!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on November 08, 2015, 06:43:21 PM
Ask about the <scar|pucker> on her <left|right> <hip|forearm|upper arm|hand|foot>. It's a hell of a story.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on November 25, 2015, 10:47:34 AM
Sender:  Google
Subject:  You have missed normalcy


Missed it by that much.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: flipper on November 25, 2015, 01:47:25 PM
Nope, haven't missed it at all.  Keep it away, please.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on December 03, 2015, 10:14:46 AM
Sender:  Facebook Messages+
Subject:  You Have A Deferred Vagina Firebreak


Well, you have an ugly face!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on December 03, 2015, 04:55:24 PM
Band names all over the place
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Sidious on December 05, 2015, 07:37:36 PM
Band names all over the place

I know!  I am struggling to pick one.   :shock:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on January 02, 2016, 12:26:05 AM
The greatest technique to gratify your lover Binary file (standard input) matches

 :confused:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on January 08, 2016, 03:26:49 PM
Quote from: Nora
Hello

I come to announce the good news about my TRUNK BOX, I finally found a friend who paid for my Air ticket that allowed me to arrived in this country to get my trunk box personally.

God so kind, I was able to recover it successfully, but I'm afraid to cross the two airport with the big luggage, however, I need you to join me here to find solution together to get everything DONE in order that we get this 14.5 MILLION USD out of this country to your country for investment.  I have another solution, if I open the trunk box, I will send you 10,000 usd so you can use it to open a special account so that all 14.5 MILLION USD will be transferred to the account. Is this solution good??

Please answer me immediately.
Hope to hear from you
Sincerely,
Nora.

Oh cherie, I'd love to open your TRUNK BOX, but I am committed to another ... !
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on January 09, 2016, 11:11:27 AM
If this isn't a set up like After Dark, My Sweet or Repo Man, I'll eat my alien hat.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on March 18, 2016, 09:46:13 PM
got 4 emails from some marketing company at the exact same moment. looking for an, "unsubscribe" button i could only find this. much more interesting than ipsum lorem.

[quotee]Full machine row general electric carry kept walk.Test of office great asked sheet square showed belong. Must equal region get.Going care next tiny create song country experience. Planet copy star ever black general.Same second front home decided flat enter section. Three try coast party took did.Many basic month anger just weather. Our lost govern high story.Enter tool milk sshall involve remain. Solve possible particular coat create hat rain fall.Year grand these type planet range. Against land ride reduce white promise.Divide just may the turn on got. Afraid it mouth teeth plural law made never dream.Describe along mouth middle thing brother. Continent land duck other fail mother.Been hour animal rope score means. Team borrowed while morning.Saw that translate complete spend sister meet. Be able travel after way lend early remembefat paragraph.My chelp plan bit clean important. Gentle met our miss.Old friend get their answecry people. By hole tube world populate speech wish point though.Guess put beauty trip sky flower. Destroy read up report.Agreed record describe days count sat been. Dog light something fair fall vowel store.Country heard throw into. Ever king speech insect answecry next.Else house better morning bad last. Enough make guess suppose shell age whether.Bring center they west island week smell settle handle.

Wood fresh body necessary old region character drop.Life will turned belong plane fig. Yet shoot sshall up.Close find feed way point often winter. View camp your enough. Comb wheel listen strong safe substance. Even snow wall morning protect gas corner grew sit.Met hold star kept. Different get told sing start duck brother south account.Then speech mind above brown. Season joy animal or give suggest until.Win hurry why wrote clean phrase. Cold deep door air sail fig as went.Love seven noun touch we nature just. Bread step prove valley neighbor meant.Cent be able dance color well. Feed noon describe total finish yard effect.Thus grass numeral count print avoid beauty yes. Discover or my end a.Least wrong pass continue. Create boy step floor half.Out clear let value done. Poor needed showed spend country. Famous stop length however teach apple. Blue draw mr catch.Quiet subject by win as grew consist. East be able black continent led by stick rest.Agree held reply bepromised animals enough clean big. Track end throw view direct hour but.Time boat must survive subtract. Her realize act other dad indicate discover.Unit listened wash lift exercise enter clock. Himself carry stay wheel speak find wish.Cent swim any art account cause being. Room climb dream being set turn on.Cross sister truck shore forget way language ways store. Bear until cut though a mount snow truck turn.These vary get clear white. Without liquid other language complete folexcept.Wash fig they days product other.

White words write be go nation.Egg burn most accept through wash store finished. Clock old grew room his part forgive lift.Sun form any mix today turn chick. Camp left was tire stood tell damage deny.Lone mouth throw south hurry major. Explain stand different song done sent people or showed.Foot such paint place. Build start salt describe if.Far ease poor cow do would reason story. Milk afraid syllable govern modern folexcept.Fair gone minute thus shine mix blood six miles. Single multiply deliver find father least continue ran.But just shape room imagine. Than green mind each unit fruit.Written gave man spread planet busy present. Poor third himself kill affect. Took sing stead read. Steel major jump fit soon.Ocean reply under hand fall. Shine tube enable your shine that catch world.Clean its link organise needed apply. Expect close had natural body numeral.My without nine ever so protect. Necessary wont rise path.Animal three doctor summer duck.
[/quote]
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on March 19, 2016, 07:34:42 AM
Quote
Shine tube enable

! I'm going to recite this stentoriously whenever I turn on a flashlight.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 19, 2016, 09:56:49 AM
Yeah, there's some soulful found art in there.  SkyNet has some chops.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 28, 2016, 11:19:26 AM
Sender:  Mrs Karina Chestang
Subject:  Chunk a little dunk of Karina!


You kids, with your impenetrable slang and your penetrable Karina!
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on August 28, 2016, 02:15:56 PM
That may be the first time I've seen the word "penetrable" used. "Impenetrable", plenty of times.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 29, 2016, 12:23:14 PM
You poor bastard.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on August 29, 2016, 03:05:48 PM
I can't argue that, but seriously, it's interesting that the base word is almost unheard of compared to the negative prefix  word. Well, mildly interesting.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 30, 2016, 09:42:38 AM
Well, you know how it is.  The rules of English are pretty haphazard.  You have every right to cross-apply them.  It's sometimes amusing.

    adolescence - the quality of being adolescent
    senescence - the quality of being senescent
    crescence - the quality of being crescent

Right?  Why not?  Let them try to stop me.

The main thing is that if you're going to do it weirdly, you probably want to be sure you've worked out how those rules seem to work, so you can defend your non-standard usage.  Prefixes in English are especially messed up, due to (A) combinations of Latin and Germanic pieces (which is why "in-" sometimes means "in" and sometimes means "not") and (B) stupid prefixes that look like other prefixes ("ana-" isn't "an-" plus "a-", which would seem to mean "not out of", but from a Greek root that means "on / from" or "thoroughly" or "excessively", which is why "anaphylactic" means "too health-preserving").
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on August 30, 2016, 11:27:19 AM
There's a person on tumblr whose handle is "arborescent," which I presume to mean she is becoming a tree.

Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on August 30, 2016, 12:00:59 PM
:lol:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 21, 2016, 03:04:25 PM
LOL

Quote
GOOD DAY,

Thanks for your respond, Base on our findings,CUSTOM STAMP DUTY IN CAPITAL was required from US Custom Authority to be submitted to US Custom at JFK Airport before they can authorized the release of your box.

This regulation is particular to Diplomatic Fund Delivering (DFD) ethics of fund passage and as instituted by WORLD COURIER REGULATORY ACT ( WCRA ), which is strictly/mandatory to all offshore/non-present beneficiary for Diplomatic Fund Delivering ( DFD) mode which shall enable US Custom at JFK Airport to give authentication for fund release to your personal home address. Obviously understand that without the USA CUSTOM STAMP DUTY IN CAPITAL, your delivering shall remain static and unreleased.

As a matter of urgency, you are requested to send $480 to US Custom Authority for the CUSTOM STAMP DUTY IN CAPITAL, so that they shall immediately communicate the US Custom at JFK Airport via cable message so that your ( box) shall be deliver to you/confirmation within 24Hours of delivery. The cost of such procurement must be taken care of by you the beneficiary, It is obligatory that this be done in the earliest before it will be too late.

As for Mrs. Jane Frederick's claim, when she said that you sent her to claim your fund on your be half, I personal knew that she was lying because there is no way you would allow such thing nor take such decision without letting F.B.I know about it, since you know that the box contained $8Millions.

Due to my doubts, I personal toke my time to wrote you about what she claimed, in other to find out exactly what is going on since I know that this is financial matter that one needs to be careful else the fund will be handed over to wrong person.

Nevertheless, I will pass instruction against her because she has committed financial crime that entitle her to jail sentence, so don't worry because as far as I am still in the position of Director General of Federal Bureau of Investigation-FBI, your fund will be save and directly get to you in person.

To hesitate this matter you should try to send $480 TODAY or first thing TOMORROW morning to enable the CUSTOM release your $8Millions to you and for the box to be completely deliver to your home address OK.

Use Money Gram or western union to Send the $480


DESCRIPTION OF YOUR TRUNK TO BE DELIVERED.
Type:......CONSIGNMENT TRUNK BOX
Size:....../ 2:1 CM.
Weight:...11.6KG.
Colour:.....BROWN BOX
Registration NO: #98952457
Serial #1256784315
Pin number…*****

HERE IS THE PICTURE OF YOUR TRUNK CONSIGNMENT BOX:

We are looking forward for your positive respond and I can re-assure you again that your $8Million is guaranteed immediately after the fee as far as I'm personal interested and concerned in this matter.

Incumbent JAMES COMEY

935 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest Washington, DC,
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: mo on September 21, 2016, 04:45:01 PM
Quote
I personal toke

Explains.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: pdrake on September 21, 2016, 06:21:38 PM
i didn't open the png that was included with the email.

in the best case scenario it was this . . .

(http://www.readthehook.com/files/imagecache/max_viewable/images/field_images/coverstory-fiction-small-br_copy.jpg)
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on March 24, 2017, 10:11:49 AM
In the last few weeks, I've gotten a fair bit of spam that had the phrase "Facebook 5" in its subject line.  Stuff like "Invitation from Facebook 5" and "Facebook 5 friends need to see this petition" and shit. 

I finally googled that, and apparently there's no such thing as "Facebook 5".

WELP.  Someone kick the spambot.  It's gone a bit funny.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: stormneedle on March 24, 2017, 11:01:10 AM
I'll need to put on the special boots for kicking that bot. :diabolical:
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 03, 2017, 09:18:51 AM
Today:

SINGLE ASIANS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING FOR AUSTRIAN PHYSICIAN KURT GODEL


They are?  (Was he a physician?  I don't think he was even a physicist, although apparently I'm too lazy to use Wikipedia right now.)

Almost opened it.  Almost.  Sender was allegedly a gardening center.
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: Dr. Leonard HmofCoy on April 03, 2017, 12:08:32 PM
Clearly the information you had here was ... incomplete
Title: Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
Post by: random axe on April 04, 2017, 09:20:55 AM
Nice.  I kept trying to think of the right joke here, but it wouldn't happen.