Author Topic: Spammity Spamalicious Spam  (Read 98960 times)

flipper

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Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« on: January 09, 2007, 01:13:10 PM »
Quote
Lindsay Lohan <system@peterdrent.nl>  to me
 show details  Jan 8 (23 hours ago) 

Images are not displayed. Display images below 


Isabell fuentes coed fight stop evil.
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Heres quick rundown never looked cuter.
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Too cute baby doll dress jensen ackles whether! Because she is after being dropped by label found.
Tell leave hell alone click play button say.
Eva longoria maria menounos sidekick!



Hey look her writing is improving!
"It all trickles down from the hot sex. I'm not saying you don't need cheese, just that if you concentrate on the hot sex, the cheese will follow. Naturally."--PsiDefect 03-19-2002 11:28 AM

whidB

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2007, 01:14:54 PM »
Sounds like the Last Words of Dutch Schultz...

the other andrea

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2007, 04:56:39 PM »
Interesting:

Quote
 
Subject:   unseemly pit viper
      Sent:   Mon, Jan 15, 2007 8:55 PM>

hmmmm.... I can handle being called a viper, but an unseemly viper? I'm devastated.
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hajen

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2007, 12:25:07 AM »
Quote
from        Francisco <tm@gmail.com>       
to       Savannah    
date      Wed, 17 Jan 2007 21:15:55 --800 (EET)   
subject      retinal scab   

Our Loan Department is trying to reach you
You have been pre-qualified for a one-time program that will save you 35% off your current payment.
You could get up to $293,000 for as low as never.
Follow our link to complete your application
www . ooopzeqididit . com
To secure low rate please respond asap
Regards,
LendersTeam.

Sorry, but that just struck me as interestingly sneaky.
Also, yuck, retinal scab??
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hajen

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2007, 08:03:03 PM »
Quote
from  %FROM_NAME <""@from_email.livejournal.com>    
to  undisclosed-recipients <>   
date   Feb 15, 2007 7:04 PM

%TO_CC_DEFAULT_HANDLER
Subject: %SUBJECT
Sender: "%FROM_NAME" <%FROM_EMAIL>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html
Date: %CURRENT_DATE_TIME

%MESSAGE_BODY

Looks like someone's spam script barfed!
"I find that I am so rarely consulted when it's obvious I needed to be." - Talix
"Oh, god, I'm turning into Axe.  Watch out, people who are wrong on the internet!" - feffer
"I have a hard time taking my hands offline long enough to file my damned nails.  Obviously." - random axe
"Aww, just remember that 'reputation' turns into 'legend' after several years." - mrcookieface

ivan

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2007, 03:11:14 PM »
Quote
Dear Friend,
 
 I am Barrister Charles  Oha,a solicitor at law,personal attorney to Mr.W.H.Davidoff,who used to work with Shell development Company in Lome Togo. Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of September 2003, my client,his wife and their two children were involved in a car accident along Kara-Sokode expressway while arriving from a Holiday to Lome. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives.
 
All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives.
Since then I have made several enquiries to  locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also prooved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to track his last name over the Internet,to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

Emphasis is mine. I thought that repeated sentence was a poetic style, imbuing this message with a chant-like quality. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

Unfortunately, this was not the case. The message rambles on for several more paragraphs, but nowhere else does that peculiar form of repetition occur. It appears to have been a mistake.

It appears to have been a mistake! But as often happens, it inspired in me an idea, an idea for a new way of writing.

A new way of writing!

WRITING!

NG!

!

flipper

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2007, 03:36:34 PM »
The same guy wrote me one too, but the dude who died was Mr. W.H. Shepherd, and he also worked for the Shell Development Company.  Small world, eh?
"It all trickles down from the hot sex. I'm not saying you don't need cheese, just that if you concentrate on the hot sex, the cheese will follow. Naturally."--PsiDefect 03-19-2002 11:28 AM

ivan

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2007, 03:44:47 PM »
Gosh, if only your relative had gotten to know my relative before they so tragically lost their lives!

Although I think my relative was probably a real bastard. HE NEVER WROTE!

flipper

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2007, 04:32:17 PM »
Mine never did either
"It all trickles down from the hot sex. I'm not saying you don't need cheese, just that if you concentrate on the hot sex, the cheese will follow. Naturally."--PsiDefect 03-19-2002 11:28 AM

hajen

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2007, 11:50:25 AM »
today's wtf spam subject header: vasectomy measles
"I find that I am so rarely consulted when it's obvious I needed to be." - Talix
"Oh, god, I'm turning into Axe.  Watch out, people who are wrong on the internet!" - feffer
"I have a hard time taking my hands offline long enough to file my damned nails.  Obviously." - random axe
"Aww, just remember that 'reputation' turns into 'legend' after several years." - mrcookieface

Dr. Leonard HmofCoy

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #10 on: May 01, 2007, 11:29:13 AM »
This isn't funny any more.

Quote from: disgusting shitsucking spammer
Dear Norm Nelson,

I am captain James .W. Brian in the US Marine Corps on Monitoring and Peace –keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. The reason why I’m explaining my finding to you is to seek for your assistance to enable you contributes immensely to the actualization of my dreams. On the 8th day of January 2007, we were alerted on the presence of some terrorist’s hideouts in Haifa Street, a long thoroughfare of high-rise buildings built by Saddam Hussein here in Baghdad.

After Immediate intervention by the Iraqi forces and ours, we were able to capture many foreign Arab fighters linked to al Qaeda in that operation and over 100 militants were killed on the process. Among the Arab fighters linked to al Qaeda two were interrogated by two of our intelligent investigators and I. They confessed that some of them are fighters for al Qaeda and some are for Ayman al-Zawahiri and they took us to some of their hideout which runs along the west bank
of the Tigris River that cuts through the capital.

When we invaded into the hideout, we recovered several guns, amour including some boxes among which two contains bullets, one filled with hard drugs (heroine) and the other two to my mazement contain some US Dollars which we assumed amounted to $23.2M after Iand two of the intelligent investigators counted them and it took us over 4 hours to get it counted.I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy so that we can have the money to our selves, they all agreed to the plan and they replied to me on how I can get this huge sum out of this country and I told them that it’s no problem. This motivated me to connive with my best friend in our force who went with me and the two other officers to keep the boxes in a safer place.

I am now in keen need of a "Reliable and Trustworthy" person like you who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me  untill my assignment elapses here.

I assure and promise to give you 10% of this fund, however feel free to negotiate what you wish to have as your percentage in this deal.Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission.

My Sincere regards,
Capt.Brian.James.
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stormneedle

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #11 on: May 01, 2007, 11:43:47 AM »
If it was worth the increased spam, it would be amusing to ask who his CO is so that you could report him for, among other things, conduct unbecoming an officer.
“I'm generalizing from one example here, but everyone generalizes from one example. At least, I do.”

Psidefect

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #12 on: May 01, 2007, 12:08:37 PM »
Tell him you'd be happy to help, but you will require a small deposit of $1000 before you will agree to receive the boxes.
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feffer

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #13 on: May 01, 2007, 01:59:35 PM »
What did they do with the box of heroine?  Was she still alive?  Is she hot?
Cause you're so beautiful
Like a tree
Or a high-class prostitute
You're so beautiful
Mmm, you could be a part-time model
But you'd probably have to keep your normal job

Dr. Leonard HmofCoy

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Re: Spammity Spamalicious Spam
« Reply #14 on: May 10, 2007, 10:24:07 AM »
Quote from: much more amusing spammer

   From:      revvingescapism's@mailftp.com
   Subject:    The place bacon.
   Date:    May 9, 2007 12:36:45 PM PDT
   
Bank above the highlands where.A way that.Respect to one man.Was in his grave.The red men made.The indians did the.New netherland about..Is said about her.Heard that wamsutta was stirring.Lord baltimore dies; his son.About canonicus and.Did the war.Said of his death what.Speaking out so.Happened during the winter what.[footnote 7: goffe gof :.Why what did they.Left a son;.Potomac[1] river.The people of.Customs and laws  in.Rock was as.[illustration: map of maryland.Fire and burned many.Englishman who was.By making the.It was made.One and did their best.Houses carry off the.massachusetts; they.Part of america.Of worship or.Shed.Did not belong to.His old friend massasoit and.Of boston tried to.He had become a great.The revolution; washington;Or quaker church in the.Congress declared the united.Than to another and.Fog all of.Military leader of that.That of new york.They sent out people to.The english people many.Would hear an.England there had been.Not use horses;.Were counted; then.Against them and.Massachusetts feel about mr williams.King himself.They cooked specially.[footnote.Plymouth lost one of their.All about indian life.Be killed without.Smith's plan --on the.They could not have religious.Land ]  [footnote 2:.Said that the furs.Had been wounded in fighting.The society of.[illustration: the church.


THE PLACE BACON.

I am there. So there.
"Parasitic wasps laying eggs in other insects is a better love story than Twilight." - :bitzero:
"Anyhow, it was the best sentient food movie since Killer Tomatoes Eat France." - :flipper:
"lee marvin in drag is no way to spread the gospel, son." - TFJ
"It failed. My enemies have been purged." - Sidious
"It's not like there was ever a time I didn't think Rudy Giuliani was a smug gibbering imbecile." - random axe
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