Author Topic: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us  (Read 3617 times)

NexR

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All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« on: June 18, 2008, 09:24:38 AM »
"Craig Wright discovered that the Jura F90 Coffee maker, with its honest-to-God Jura Internet Connection Kit, can be taken over by a remote attacker, who can cause the coffee to be weaker or stronger; change the amount of water per cup; or cause the machine to require service (call this one a DDoC). 'Best yet, the software allows a remote attacker to gain access to the Windows XP system it is running on at the level of the user.' An Internet-enabled, remote-controlled coffee-machine and XP backdoor — what more could a hacker ask for?"

(straight from /.)
Shake your groove thing.

Psidefect

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2008, 09:49:17 AM »
Maybe I'm being myopic here, but why would I want my coffee machine to connect to the internet?
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BizB

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2008, 10:12:40 AM »
Maybe I'm being cheap here, but why would you spend $1,798 on a coffee maker?
I overslept this morning.  I was hitting the snooze button like it was my little sister.
I overslept this morning.  I was banging the snooze button like it was my step sister.

Psidefect

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2008, 10:16:24 AM »
Maybe I'm being cheap here, but why would you spend $1,798 on a coffee maker?

Duh, so you could connect it to the internet!
“You've got a lot to learn about screwing up your life, pal.” - mrcookieface
“How sad for a marriage to fail because it's not compatible with Windows 31!  But it'll happen.” - random axe
“Not my problem if they don't know how to make magic smoke out of it.” - Stormy
“Dude. That will get you out of TWO family holidaycausts.” - Stoatse
"It is my role in this drama to misunderstand things at top volume." - Hmof

Dr. Leonard HmofCoy

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2008, 10:32:57 AM »
You know, in the movie "M*A*S*H," when Pierce and McIntyre go to Tokyo and they get driven around in a jeep by Bobby Troup, who keeps shaking his head and saying "Damn Army" ...?

This is me, with the Internet.

Damn Internet.
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NexR

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2008, 11:12:27 AM »
Maybe I'm being myopic here, but why would I want my coffee machine to connect to the internet?

Why wouldn't you?


You could be all up in a meeting and realize you gonna desperately need a cup by the end.  Log in to that bitch; tell it to fix a new pot; hells yeah.  Immediate caffeine reparations.

Shake your groove thing.

Dr. Leonard HmofCoy

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #6 on: June 18, 2008, 11:38:56 AM »
You could be all up in a meeting and realize you gonna desperately need a cup by the end.  Log in to that bitch; tell it to fix a new pot; hells yeah.  Immediate caffeine reparations.

Yar. Some friends of mine have a one-button coffee maker that grinds the beans, fills the filter basket, and heats and dispenses the water. There's a button for espresso, too (finer grind, some kind of compression thing). I think you have to manually clean it out after each operation, but there are ways around that with some simple robotics.

XP, though, uh, that's probably the second worst solution to the software problem (after Vista, natch). Some kind of embedded dedicated system like in a car would be perfectly sufficient.
"Parasitic wasps laying eggs in other insects is a better love story than Twilight." - :bitzero:
"Anyhow, it was the best sentient food movie since Killer Tomatoes Eat France." - :flipper:
"lee marvin in drag is no way to spread the gospel, son." - TFJ
"It failed. My enemies have been purged." - Sidious
"It's not like there was ever a time I didn't think Rudy Giuliani was a smug gibbering imbecile." - random axe
"*drags taint* Oh cool, I didn't know you could do that." - mo.d

Hedaira

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #7 on: June 18, 2008, 11:45:31 AM »
I had one of the one-buttoners and it was awesome.
Mr. Kancho hated the thing, and one morning I came downstairs to a trail of coffee running all the way down the kitchen because the carafe was not in place.
He said it was an accident.

I say it was murder.
"After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone -- a bathroom. We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to fuck the shit out of me."

mo

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #8 on: June 18, 2008, 11:46:51 AM »
If this thing would mate with that robot vacuum cleaner, then it could deliver you a cup of coffee.

 :thumbsup:
It's symbolic of our struggle against reality.

Dr. Leonard HmofCoy

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #9 on: June 18, 2008, 12:01:55 PM »
If this thing would mate with that robot vacuum cleaner, then it could deliver you a cup of coffee.

 :thumbsup:

This reminds me of my all-time favorite Fark headline:

"Robot mistakes human flesh for bacon. And so it begins ..."
"Parasitic wasps laying eggs in other insects is a better love story than Twilight." - :bitzero:
"Anyhow, it was the best sentient food movie since Killer Tomatoes Eat France." - :flipper:
"lee marvin in drag is no way to spread the gospel, son." - TFJ
"It failed. My enemies have been purged." - Sidious
"It's not like there was ever a time I didn't think Rudy Giuliani was a smug gibbering imbecile." - random axe
"*drags taint* Oh cool, I didn't know you could do that." - mo.d

Encino Man

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #10 on: June 18, 2008, 12:31:11 PM »
"Craig Wright discovered that the Jura F90 Coffee maker, with its honest-to-God Jura Internet Connection Kit, can be taken over by a remote attacker, who can cause the coffee to be weaker or stronger; change the amount of water per cup; or cause the machine to require service (call this one a DDoC). 'Best yet, the software allows a remote attacker to gain access to the Windows XP system it is running on at the level of the user.' An Internet-enabled, remote-controlled coffee-machine and XP backdoor — what more could a hacker ask for?"

(straight from /.)

hahaha - I used to work at BDO Kendals in Australia - that's who wrote the article.

random axe

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2008, 12:35:46 PM »
I have this magic coffee where I put a little in the cup and just add hot water.  It's, like, instantly coffee.

It's not great coffee, but, honestly, most of the more expensive coffee I've had isn't any better.

Psidefect

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2008, 01:36:06 PM »
Maybe I'm being myopic here, but why would I want my coffee machine to connect to the internet?

Why wouldn't you?

Dude, you fucking started this thread with a reason!
“You've got a lot to learn about screwing up your life, pal.” - mrcookieface
“How sad for a marriage to fail because it's not compatible with Windows 31!  But it'll happen.” - random axe
“Not my problem if they don't know how to make magic smoke out of it.” - Stormy
“Dude. That will get you out of TWO family holidaycausts.” - Stoatse
"It is my role in this drama to misunderstand things at top volume." - Hmof

Hedaira

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #13 on: June 18, 2008, 01:38:50 PM »
Green Mountain Coffee Roasters makes really good coffee. One day when they changed the formula on their French Vanilla to make it neither and that pissed me off - but the other flavors are good.
"After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone -- a bathroom. We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to fuck the shit out of me."

NexR

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Re: All Your Coffee Are Belong To Us
« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2008, 02:11:32 PM »
Maybe I'm being myopic here, but why would I want my coffee machine to connect to the internet?

Why wouldn't you?

Dude, you fucking started this thread with a reason!

It was funny?
Shake your groove thing.