Author Topic: Cars  (Read 40895 times)

random axe

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Re: Cars
« Reply #600 on: September 15, 2018, 03:22:01 PM »
The best, worst, and longest car ad I've ever seen, and that's after skipping the intro.

Apparently in 1962 Tatra (and I love Tatras) thought the best marketing for their car was "Drive our insane sports limousine like a maniac for no reason -- the police can't stop you!  NOTHING CAN STOP YOU!"

Although I guess that was probably sort of a heartwarming message for Soviet-era Eastern Europe.  :hmm:

mo

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Re: Cars
« Reply #601 on: September 15, 2018, 04:31:17 PM »
 :shock: :clap:

Why are the cars marked "police" (English)? Who was this being marketed to?


It's symbolic of our struggle against reality.

random axe

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Re: Cars
« Reply #602 on: September 15, 2018, 06:33:38 PM »
Beats me.  It was always a brand tinged with mystery.

pdrake

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Re: Cars
« Reply #603 on: September 16, 2018, 12:59:50 AM »
was?

It's still in business.
you'd be surprised how much a nutsack can stretch. you have to stretch it yourself, not a woman. they don't do it quite right.

random axe

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Re: Cars
« Reply #604 on: September 16, 2018, 10:19:19 AM »
Yeah, but they make military vehicles and crazy off-road trucks now instead of cars.  Don't they?

Wikipedia says yes, but their last passenger car looked like a Saab made by Merkur.

Those old streamlined models were like Porsche and Tucker got together.  Except Porsche and Tucker (along with everyone else) copied Tatra rather than the other way around.  Not that I blame them.

random axe

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Re: Cars
« Reply #605 on: November 09, 2018, 11:56:02 AM »
I'm not big on modern motorcycles, and to me this wants fenders and a slightly different seat placement, but good lord I like the general style concept:  Billet Sting

Dr. Leonard HmofCoy

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Re: Cars
« Reply #606 on: November 13, 2018, 03:20:44 PM »
I keep getting Tatra and Tata mixed up.

What.


(bodacious tatras)
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random axe

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Re: Cars
« Reply #607 on: February 25, 2020, 11:34:30 AM »
SO I mentioned before, probably a long time ago, a car mystery, which I have now solved!  Which is more interesting to me than to other humans, but still.

The Background:  In the summer of 1996 (pretty sure), I moved from my exile in Orlando back to Massachusetts, for like five months (or so) before I moved to southwestern Ohio.  While I was in MA, my younger brother and I both needed a car, and because we were very poor we went in together on a hilariously suspiciously cheap thing from a hilariously suspicious used car dealer.  It was a time.

The car in question was a Nissan with no name plates or badges on it.  We knew it was a Nissan because it said NISSAN on some of the engine parts.  Neither of us had purchased a used car before, and the details were hazy even then.  I think we got it as a salvage title, because I remember there was almost no paperwork.  It was insured through the dealer, somehow.  I don't remember, but, then, I had the car for like three months.

It was a two-door hatchback with a spoiler and pop-up headlights and THE BEST PIMP-STYLE car stereo I've ever seen.  Radio-cassette, in a heavy metallic finish, with a yellow display.  The controls were huge and chunky.  Seriously, the volume knob was bigger than two Oreos stacked together (my younger sister's metric, which she did measure with actual standard Oreos), and it had positive detente, as they say, meaning that it clicked faintly as you turned it.  Also, the actual sound was very good.

The car had sweet buckets, a sun roof, a non-functioning turbo (Oh Well), and low-profile bald tires that screeched around turns at fifteen miles an hour, and a perforated muffler that made it sound like a Hemi Barracuda (almost).  The suspension had been lowered slightly by an amateur, and the results weren't terrible, but it was low, and if you had it stopped, with the brake on, and touched the gas, the torque would make the rear axle twist, compressing the rear suspension even further.  So you could make the rear end go up and down by gently tapping the accelerator while you were stopped at the light.

It was kind of a full funky sports car experience without any danger of,  you know, going fast.  But even our mechanic (who became a little obsessed with it) couldn't figure out what the car actually was.  It passed the emissions inspection.  I don't remember how we registered it.  Maybe we just lied about what model it was.

BUT ANYWAY.

I'd tried before to pin it down, but actually Nissan offered a bizarre blizzard of models during the 80s, and Wikipedia prefers to shove you to the Nissan Silvia page, etc, and then you have to figure out what versions were sold here and what they were called, and yadda yadda.  (And be jealous of the models sold in Australia but not here.)

But.  I am now very confident that what we had was a 1985 Nissan 200SX, the turbo I4 hatchback, that someone had lovingly modified until . . . god only knows.  It  might've been a flood car from Florida, or something.

Honestly, looking at photos, I wish I still had it, except maybe the V6 version and with a manual.  :cry: 

What I really always wanted was the funky Pulsar NX with the T-tops and removable / swappable rear ends.  :nonplused:

random axe

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Re: Cars
« Reply #608 on: February 25, 2020, 11:35:18 AM »
Also, I'd just like to say, the pop-up headlights looked decent and worked perfectly.  Rarely have I known a car with pop-up headlights where either of those things was true.

flipper

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Re: Cars
« Reply #609 on: February 26, 2020, 04:37:19 PM »
I knew a guy in college with that model, possibly not that year.  It was a pretty cool car.
"It all trickles down from the hot sex. I'm not saying you don't need cheese, just that if you concentrate on the hot sex, the cheese will follow. Naturally."--PsiDefect 03-19-2002 11:28 AM

Dr. Leonard HmofCoy

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Re: Cars
« Reply #610 on: February 28, 2020, 04:55:17 PM »
My college friend Tommy had one of those. He called it "a secretary's car" and claimed it was stealthy because of such so he could modify it to go STUPID fast with really tight suspension and the CHP would never be on to him.

But it was bright red and he drove it (on highway 17 no less) like he had a fiery deathwish so I don't think he was fooling the chippies one bit.
"Parasitic wasps laying eggs in other insects is a better love story than Twilight." - :bitzero:
"Anyhow, it was the best sentient food movie since Killer Tomatoes Eat France." - :flipper:
"lee marvin in drag is no way to spread the gospel, son." - TFJ
"It failed. My enemies have been purged." - Sidious
"It's not like there was ever a time I didn't think Rudy Giuliani was a smug gibbering imbecile." - random axe
"*drags taint* Oh cool, I didn't know you could do that." - mo.d

pdrake

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Re: Cars
« Reply #611 on: February 28, 2020, 09:05:30 PM »
17 is truly deadly. Many a time I had to pull over and wait for fog to clear.
you'd be surprised how much a nutsack can stretch. you have to stretch it yourself, not a woman. they don't do it quite right.

random axe

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Re: Cars
« Reply #612 on: February 29, 2020, 01:11:37 PM »
I was a secretary for years, and the best I could afford after I got 'promoted' to 'executive assistant' was a Toyota Tercel sedan.  :nonplused:

flipper

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Re: Cars
« Reply #613 on: March 04, 2020, 07:43:02 PM »
I'm a CFO (technically as that my title in our investment property LLC) and all I can afford is a 2012 Nissan Leaf.
"It all trickles down from the hot sex. I'm not saying you don't need cheese, just that if you concentrate on the hot sex, the cheese will follow. Naturally."--PsiDefect 03-19-2002 11:28 AM