Author Topic: Weird Medical News  (Read 15462 times)

random axe

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #90 on: April 07, 2010, 08:46:24 PM »

mrcookieface

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #91 on: April 07, 2010, 08:50:20 PM »
I'm draining my cerebral spinal fluid right now just to be safe.

I made a bitchin' siphon.

pdrake

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #92 on: April 07, 2010, 08:59:13 PM »
sounds painful

are you going to keep it on hand? i know they recommend tupperware to keep things fresh, but i'd go with a real vacuum seal.
you'd be surprised how much a nutsack can stretch. you have to stretch it yourself, not a woman. they don't do it quite right.

random axe

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #93 on: April 07, 2010, 09:36:39 PM »
Drastic measures aside, this lends credence to my theory that zombieism is probably treatable during the early stages with systemic azoles, like they give people for toenail fungus.  There are even some OTC meds, although dunno (yet) if they're strong enough to be effective.

Currently non-exotic CNS cryptococcosis tends to be really hard to treat -- you wind up on lifelong suppression meds -- but the zombieism variant seems to be less lethal, albeit more virulent.  It just instills, shall we say, an aggressive questing behavior.

If this turns out to be true, I'd like to point out that I predicted it over 25 years ago.  Of course, if this turns out to be true, we'll be up to our armpits in zombies.  But it might mean that if you get bit, there's another option besides Kill Me Now and Kill Me When I Turn.

Of course, it also brings up the point that brains are slightly sweet.  Maybe we can lure zombies away with an appropriate confection.  I bet I could make a pretty convincing-looking brain out of Zarex and Circus Peanuts.

pdrake

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #94 on: April 07, 2010, 09:41:51 PM »
tacos de cabeza
you'd be surprised how much a nutsack can stretch. you have to stretch it yourself, not a woman. they don't do it quite right.

stormneedle

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #95 on: April 07, 2010, 09:49:40 PM »
Diabetic Zombie Ketoacidosis and flamethrowers...
I'm generalizing from one example here, but everyone generalizes from one example. At least, I do.

random axe

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #96 on: April 07, 2010, 10:03:20 PM »
You people are weird.

stormneedle

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #97 on: April 07, 2010, 11:06:52 PM »
What? Too much sugar causes insulin deficiency. Too little insulin leads to too many ketones, and one byproduct of that is acetone. One match in a field of well fed zombies and the problem becomes one of ash removal.
I'm generalizing from one example here, but everyone generalizes from one example. At least, I do.

random axe

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #98 on: April 07, 2010, 11:37:09 PM »
Even people who are sick from doing Atkins wrong don't become flammable.

Besides, zombies on fire isn't always an improvement over zombines not on fire.  What you want to do is set up a burn pit that's too deep for them to climb out of, with a funnel leading them in, and then set up appropriate bait on the far side.  Even fast zombies are mighty stupid.

Some malls and other big shopping centers have semi-truck loading docks that are below ground level, with huge concrete ramps that start off extra wide but narrow toward the bottom, where there's a concrete surround and big heavy metal doors.  Try that, with gasoline or kerosene, if you don't have time to get a backhoe, but follow fire-safety guidelines.  The ramp will have drainage grates at the bottom, so you may need to plug those up ahead of time. 

A lot of those ramps have gates at the top, but it's faster, easier, and safer to just park something across the entrance once you have a bunch of zombies in there.  Add accelerant, add spark, retreat, repeat.

I still think driving around and mowing them down in a parking lot is even easier, but you do have to have the right kind of vehicle to make it easy.

flipper

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #99 on: April 08, 2010, 01:59:14 AM »
I have a brain jello mold from Dave's Cool Toys.
"It all trickles down from the hot sex. I'm not saying you don't need cheese, just that if you concentrate on the hot sex, the cheese will follow. Naturally."--PsiDefect 03-19-2002 11:28 AM

pdrake

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #100 on: April 08, 2010, 02:26:23 AM »
i'm working on a gummi/gelli formula right now. (learned from a professional that it's not a recipe, it's a formula.)

bought real ingredients. it's amazing how much crap they put in jello.

oh, briannnnnnnsssssssss .. . .
you'd be surprised how much a nutsack can stretch. you have to stretch it yourself, not a woman. they don't do it quite right.

the other andrea

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #101 on: April 08, 2010, 10:50:02 PM »
I have a brain jello mold from Dave's Cool Toys.

I've got a brainz jello mold too, unfortunately it's buried in my Halloween tubs -- it really needs to be part of the everyday kitchenware.
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random axe

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #102 on: April 22, 2010, 05:22:54 PM »
I told you.

I really should've finished that cryptococcus-zombie novel all those years ago.  Anyway, prep your chainsaws or whatever your deterrent of choice may be.

random axe

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Re: Weird Medical News
« Reply #103 on: January 20, 2011, 03:25:34 PM »
Quote
An increasing number of men are suffering from a syndrome I’ve dubbed Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder. [...] Men with SADD tend to find themselves getting bored or impatient during sex, and suffering from mechanical “male-functions”

From This article about the social and health effects of web porn

:huh:  I hate to break it to him, but a hell of a lot of men could test positive for 'SADD' during any historical period.