Author Topic: Beers and Booze  (Read 1050 times)

random axe

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Beers and Booze
« on: March 05, 2018, 05:06:28 PM »
SO I have never been a drinker, for a variety of reasons that start with not understanding why I would want to be (well . . . not seeing any good reasons), passing through a lot of alcoholism in my family, and ending with my non-standard sense of taste and smell.  When I was a kid, beer was, to me, about as appealing as Windex, and wine was as pleasant as badly soured milk. 

By now, my sense of taste, especially, has dwindled in the usual way, and I can eat and drink some things that were merely dare-worthy in the past.  Not all things, god knows, but some.

My minor experiences of booze over the last decade or so haven't been that remarkable.  Lagavulin is awful, bracing, medicinal, and kind of fascinating.  It tastes like the ambience of a 19th Century London gentleman's club that's had a minor fire.  I approve of it, but it's strictly for sipping, briefly, on special occasions.

tangerine and I tried a Hennessy cognac that was, by a considerable margin, the worst thing I've ever had in my mouth, and, as a ballpark frame of reference, I once ate a large cutworm moth by accident.  The cognac was like someone had cleaned a very large ashtray with leaded gasoline.  I think I shuddered for six or seven minutes after tasting it.  There will never be a need to pepper spray me if you have any cognac, I think.

tangerine plays horn in various orchestras and bands and whatnot, and sometimes after a rough gig she soaks her lips in cheap beer, which is apparently a brass player thing.  It's become my job to drink the leftover beer, which is usually like half a can.  So far, I've had Bud Light and Busch Light. 

Bud Light tastes exactly like a generic American beer mixed with an equal amount of water.  It's like drinking flat root beer -- it doesn't really taste bad, but it has a strong Why Am I Bothering component.  I honestly can't understand why people would buy it instead of just buying Budweiser and diluting it.  You'd get twice the lite beer for the money.

Busch Light has a high, sour, obnoxious flavor that suggests it's not meant for drinking but for keeping slugs out of the garden.  If you took a heavy-drinking overly-tanned old man who'd tried and failed several times to quit smoking, and you licked the side of his face while he was passed out on a hot summer day, I think he'd taste like Busch Light.  Can't recommend it.

Leinenkugel Shandy, either their lemonade or grapefruit, is quite nice, reminding me of a drier version of Surge soda, if you remember that.  Toward the end of a bottle, it starts to taste a little beer-y in a way that isn't bad but isn't as nice as the first three-quarters of the bottle.  I like it, but I can't imagine drinking enough to get a buzz. 

On the other hand, as yet I don't know how much it takes for me to get a buzz.  I have to be pretty relaxed in the first place to have a drink.

Smirnoff is like drinking water and smelling alcohol, with the kind of trace of burning that means mixing it with almost anything inoffensive (cranberry juice, for instance) turns it into something with no more bite than Hawaiian Punch.  I imagine it gets people into trouble that way.

That's most of my adventures so far.  I've had a few other kinds of beer and similar (hard lemonades, yadda yadda) that didn't make a strong impression one way or the other.  Most wine, to me, just tastes like it's gone bad and upsets my stomach. 

I'm curious to try other things, but the cognac has made me poison-shy.  :whatever:

pdrake

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2018, 05:54:47 PM »
how, exactly, does one soak their lips?
you'd be surprised how much a nutsack can stretch. you have to stretch it yourself, not a woman. they don't do it quite right.

random axe

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2018, 06:25:59 PM »
Martini glass, seated position, leaning forward while reading phone on table top.  There are other techniques, but this is the one I've seen in this case.  Seems to work fine.

You'll absorb some alcohol directly through your lips, since they're so vascular, but, I mean, a lite beer . . . pfff.

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2018, 08:16:24 PM »
The best that I've tasted was a creme brulee liqueur.  I like an occasional gin martini and I like full bodied red wines (Cabernet or Zinfandel).  I also like a good ruby port or zinfandel port.  As for beer, I like medium ales or lagers.  I like Negro Modello.  I might have a dozen or so drinks in a year.  Never did acquire a taste for cognac.
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mo

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2018, 09:27:12 AM »
Quote
I'm curious to try other things...

In hopes that you will find something you like the taste of, so that you can get intoxicated? I'm curious what your goal is.

As you mentioned, vodka has the least flavor of any alcohol, so if you're looking for something that doesn't offend your taste buds, that's probably going to be it. Rum would probably come in second, but there are some rums that have more flavor than others. I don't have much experience with it.

Scotch was my drink of choice, but I quit drinking a long time ago. There are lots of different scotches, a huge variety to choose from, and the flavor varies a good bit. Scotch is never mixed with anything but water/ice or club soda. I've never tried the brand you mentioned. Balvenie was one I drank a lot. Johnnie Walker Red was a cheaper alternative. Trying different ones was part of the fun of drinking scotch. Like wine, people get ridiculous about the subtle taste differences.



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random axe

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2018, 09:34:51 AM »
If I just wanted to get drunk, I'd buy Everclear and add it to whatever until I found the right dose.  I don't suspect I'd like being truly drunk, and it wouldn't be better if I did like it, so . . . .

No, I suppose this is just boredom, coupled with the fact that I could've only tried most kinds of booze, years ago, if I'd been willing to gag constantly.  I have a certain amount of curiosity about the, what, more general human cultural experience, I guess?  Plus, it amuses the girlfriend to see me try stuff, and she generally isn't too disappointed if I don't like it, and she isn't pushy about it.

mo

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2018, 10:16:10 AM »
People will say it's like a sin to dilute scotch at all, and I can appreciate where they are coming from if all you are interested in is the flavor, but to drink socially, that is, to nurse a drink for a long time so that you don't end up shitfaced immediately, but continue to 'drink' all evening, I don't see how that's possible with straight scotch, unless you're an alcoholic with really high tolerance levels. That's part of why I would mix mine with water and ice. My first drink of the evening would be really weak, like maybe 1/2 ounce of scotch and 8 oz of water/ice. As the evening progressed, that ratio would gradually move to 50/50 or greater as it became harder to taste the scotch.

For me, I can tell by smelling something whether I will like it. Bourbon, brandy, gin, all smell disgusting to me, bourbon especially, and that is partly due to puking it up in my youth. Wine is an exception - it can smell good, but I've never liked the sensation it has going down. I actually like cheaper wine more  :shrug:

Schnapps can be interesting to experiment with. It's sickly sweet alone, but mixed with something to counter that, it can taste really good, and it's not real strong. Available in a huge amount of flavors.

 
It's symbolic of our struggle against reality.

Sidious

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2018, 10:04:52 PM »
I have a nice scotch in my mouth right now!

Quote
Busch Light has a high, sour, obnoxious flavor that suggests it's not meant for drinking but for keeping slugs out of the garden.  If you took a heavy-drinking overly-tanned old man who'd tried and failed several times to quit smoking, and you licked the side of his face while he was passed out on a hot summer day, I think he'd taste like Busch Light.

This is 100% accurate.
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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2018, 02:33:20 PM »
I have a nice scotch in my mouth right now!...



Oh that sweet lovin'  :knotty: :galm: :rollin:
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Dr. Leonard HmofCoy

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2018, 08:09:52 PM »
I think you should try some sours. And not just a fruity lambic, too, some of the really bretty ones that at first sniff make you wonder if it's something that's been left out too long (which is literally true in some cases). You may have to go to a brewery to do this, which is good because you can get small tastes at those places, but is also bad because someone might mistake you for a hipster. But be brave! My local occasionally makes a dark sour that I think is absolutely divine, which is really weird because I generally don't like sours. I am making the reasonable assumption that what I like and what you like may be entirely uncorrelated.
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Sidious

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2018, 11:24:44 PM »
OMG I love a good sour. 
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Sidious

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2018, 11:25:12 PM »
I have a nice scotch in my mouth right now!...



Oh that sweet lovin'  :knotty: :galm: :rollin:

You bet your fruiting jingle jangle!
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vox8

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #12 on: March 08, 2018, 09:41:08 AM »
I like hard ciders. I was once in a bar with some people and I asked the server if they had any cider on tap. She said yes but did not have a happy face. I asked her how it was and she said (apologetically) that it tasted a bit like a melted apple jolly rancher. Imagine her surprise when I said SOLD! That is exactly what I want in a hard cider.

As far as Busch beer goes - on the rare occasion that I have been offered one I reply that I refuse to drink anything named after a part of my anatomy.
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random axe

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #13 on: March 08, 2018, 12:25:26 PM »
I like hard lemonades OK, although they usually taste pretty much just like lemonade that had some seeds in the blender.  I haven't tried hard cider mostly because cider doesn't agree with me, but they're not exactly the same, so maybe.

I'll have to try some of those sour things.  I am giving it the serious consideration.


Quote
I reply that I refuse to drink anything named after a part of my anatomy.

I'd have to avoid hard liquor altogether.



mo

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Re: Beers and Booze
« Reply #14 on: March 08, 2018, 04:51:49 PM »
You've never had a Margarita?

I've had that, a Daiquiri, and I think maybe a Kamikaze. That's the extent of my sours history. Pisco sours sound interesting.
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